Just found my notes from having DS.. And has made me more scared.

[Alwaysconfused2018]

34 weeks and getting mega scared as I remember the tearing. But was never told the extent in discussion or whatever.. DS is now a teen so a while ago but my aftercare was horrendous anyway

So I remember gas and air making me vomit badly.
Which it states the anti sickness meds...

2nd degree perennial tear.
1 labia tear
1 vaginal tear

On DS notes says liquor stained meconium... Google says that can be a sign baby was distressed..

I was never told this.
And I was high risk dvt.

I'm now more than scared of a vaginal birth again now.. I know that everyone is..
But I remember the pain after and it's panicking me to the point I'm shaking

I suffer with anxiety anyway so prob don't help as not taking meds during pregnancy

I don't want to sound silly if mention to mw as nothing shecould do anyway.

You should definitely chat to your midwife. She can have a look through your previous notes with you, and help to explain things a little bit more. It sounds like a lot of those things are really normal, and nothing to worry you about unduly in this pregnancy.
Being sick is a common side effect of gas and air, some people love it and some really don't like it at all. Anti-sickness meds are often used in labour to help women who are struggling with nausea and vomiting.
Tears are also very common, especially with mums who are having their first baby. How was your healing afterwards? There is some research that perineal massage can help to reduce the chance of tearing, but mainly in first time mums. Giving birth in water can also be helpful. The main thing you can do to reduce the chance of tearing is to follow your own body's urges when pushing as much as possible, and to allow to the contractions to slowly let your baby's head crown, rather than pushing - easier said than done when you just want it over with! If you do tear, lavender oil in milk is amazing on pads, and you can put your pads in the fridge for an added cooling
effect.
Babies can pass meconium before birth for a number of reasons, sometimes just because they're overdue, and other times because their oxygen supply has been disrupted at some point during later pregnancy or labour. The main risk is that they might breathe it in, but most babies cry at birth and are totally fine. It just means that the midwives would prefer to monitor your baby's heart rate more closely during labour.
Being high risk for DVT can change from pregnancy to pregnancy depending on what the reason was, so that's something to check with your midwife.
Sometimes it can be quite scary seeing your birth written down on paper, and it might really help you to have a chat through things with your midwife who has the full picture. Second births tend to be much quicker and easier than first births, because your body has done it all before. Anxiety is really common in pregnancy, your midwife will be really happy to chat to you about any concerns and help you to feel more in control and confident about things. I can really recommend the Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill as well :)

Talk it through with your midwife. Second births tend to be quicker. Perhaps you could consider an episiotomy? I had one and it worked really well. Although it took a while to heal it did heal perfectly in the end. The doctor cut me diagonally so that I would not be damaged on the top of my vulva/labia nor the perenium. That might be worth considering to prevent you tearing along any of the old wounds.
It also might be worth talking through having a water birth as they can help to prevent tearing.
Dont be afraid to discuss it with the midwife theres actually plenty of things that she could do and say to set your mind at rest!!

Thank you. Have taken all on board. And will discuss with midwife.
I think I let my mind run away with me too much which dont help..lol