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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant, Unemployed and Depressed

3 replies

LadyGray17 · 17/01/2018 16:39

Hi all, I'm in need of some ideas because I'm exhausted.

I moved in with my boyfriend and his family in September 2017 to start an apprenticeship that unfortunately didn't work out. There were many reasons but the biggest was that during my first week I felt extremely unwell and I discovered I was pregnant. I was then faced with the difficult choice of continuing the 18 month contract, including having to go to college during my unpaid maternity leave, or leaving at Christmas and find temporary work to save up for the baby's arrival in May.

I decided to quit the apprenticeship after several stressful months about the situation. The company had lost several employees during the 3 months I worked for them and no qualified staff were being hired to replace them, one girl even handed in her notice after 4 days of working for them. The remaining staff were being put under a lot of pressure and it was becoming increasingly clear that this was not a healthy employment option. I was given the option to transfer companies by the people running the course but I decided that the industry wasn't right for me and that I'd prefer to stop completely.

I told myself that I'd use Christmas and New Year to rest and recover from the stress then I'd find some temporary or part-time position so I wouldn't have to rely on my partner to pay the few bills I have (phone, car insurance/tax, petrol, etc). It's now halfway through January and I'm still unemployed.

I wrote on my CV that I was pregnant but after several instant denials, I removed that information. I then got a few positive replies but at 20 weeks, there was no way I was getting through the interviews without the employer noticing (I am a very slender woman and started showing at just 12 weeks), and I was then sent more denials. I then found that a lot of temporary or part-time jobs required a certain amount of physical fitness and pregnancy has not been kind to my body, I have hyper flexible joints which means my hips and back are really suffering and sometimes I need help just getting out of bed. It's now dawning on me that I won't get a job before the baby arrives and I feel like such a burden.

My partner works full time as a hospital receptionist, it's a minimum wage job and he has debts to pay off (he was meant to get married, but it didn't work out and left him in a lot of debt). If I can't find work by the end of January, he will have to pay my bills and my debts too (I was in the exact same situation) and I feel so useless for it.

We've looked into benefits but it seems we can't get much help until we live in our own place because as long as we live with family, we are not deemed desperate. We are trying to get an appointment with the CAB because we haven't got a clue, but we currently live in the conservatory of his family's crowded 3 bedroom house with his mother, teenage brother and elderly godmother, and although the family are doing everything they can to help us, we cannot raise a baby in this environment. We've applied for help with housing but so far haven't had any communication with the agency or association, and as long as we live in a family setting, benefits are very difficult to claim because they take the entire household income into consideration.

I've found myself looking into home-based work because I'm not someone that can sit around doing nothing all day and I've become so bored and stressed that I feel my depression creeping back in. The few home-based jobs I've seen require traits that I simply do not have (such as having to use a phone or webcam, or being crafty and creative), or rely on commission which has never worked for me in the past. I also refuse to do surveys because the money is not worth the time or effort, especially when I spend ages filling them in only to be told I'm not a fitting participant.

So my question is this:
What can I do? I'm bored and broke. The day to day searching is literally driving me insane and my family is extremely worried about me.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
RockingLobstering · 17/01/2018 16:48

Didn't want to read and run, as I am familiar with a lot of little things in your post!
I wouldn't worry about a job now- trying to get employed while pregnant is a nightmare unless you go for a casual type job- think working in a takeaway, pub ect, and make it clear you're looking for temp work, not for maternity benefits. Loads of places will still offer cash in hand.

As for CAB- get yourself there ASAP! They'll help advise on housing situation, though I think you don't "qualify" for a 2 bed until the baby is over a year old.
Seeing as its not your family would you be able to say you're sofa surfing?

Flowers
Bellamuerte · 17/01/2018 17:02

The same happened to me. My employer terminated my rolling contract as soon as he found out I was pregnant. Nobody else would hire me as I was visibly pregnant and they didn't want to be on the hook for any maternity benefits. It was impossible to even get a casual job as they tend to be stuff like bar work or shelf stacking for which I simply wasn't fit enough. I just had to accept I wouldn't be able to work until I recovered after the birth. I'm 38 weeks now and still unemployed, and very depressed due to being broke and bored for 9 months. Not much help but you have my sympathy. We aren't the first pregnant women to be locked out of the employment market and we won't be the last.

juneisthemonth · 18/01/2018 20:14

I moved back home with parents and was able to claim universals credit, would you not be able to get a maternity grant too? Or sma? I don't know a lot about them expect universal credit, but have been researching just because I hated my job so much lol

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