Unexpected pregnancy, i am lost and scared. Please advice!

[EwaUlo]

Hey.. I become pregnant. I want to be a mum, but my boyfriend said that he is not ready, that we don't have money to take care of the baby and etc. Im 26 he is 27, we renting a flat, having full time jobs. But we struggle with finances.. I don't know what to do.... I am so miserable now and sad... i dont want to ruin his life by keeping the baby and i dont want to ruin my life by not doing it and also, i am scared that if i keep it it will be huge mistake but i will understand that later on when we will be poor. Now,my BF told me that its my decision and he will adapt to whatever i decide. I don't know what to do,please help.

You need to take some time to think about it. You are still in shock. It is your choice and your bf recognises that thankfully. But I think ultimately you need to accept that there is a decent chance you might have to go it alone considering the circumstances. Or it might work out ok, it does in some relationships.

There is nothing wrong with not continuing a pregnancy. But you need to be comfortable with that. I always swore I would never have an abortion, no matter what the circumstances. But when I found myself pregnant, in better circumstances than you describe, I was devestated. I didn't consider an abortion for the first week AT ALL, it wasn't on my radar. Then one day I thought of it and it was such a weight off my shoulders. I went ahead with the termination and have never for a single second regretted it. I now have a wonderful family and partner and secure set up and can be the parent I planned and wanted to be. My life would be very very different if I had gone ahead with that pregnancy.

So it's your choice. There are pros and cons to both terminating and continuing.

Thank you. I am taking few days to decide. It will change my life either way, so just need to make sure Im 100% confident with my decision. I am scared to loose my partner but i believe if only listen to him, i might loose him anyway in the future...

Possibly true Ewa.

Just personal experience but my termination felt like a reset button, not some baggage to carry for life. It was a massive relief. Many women feel like this about terminations but you will hear far more about people who have regrets or never come to terms with the decision they made.

Good luck deciding. Hope the shock wears off soon so you can think.

Remember you can always get pregnant again. This is not your only chance to have a child - you weren’t even trying this time!

PS the mirena coil is an excellent form of contraception.