ICSI pregnancy anxieties - please shake some sense into me!

[blackcherries]

I just needed to post about all the stuff that's been going round my head for the past year or so and want someone to give me a sensible talking-to...
This is my second pregnancy - due soon- 1st was all fine and straightforward enough and I have a lovely child.
This time we suffered from secondary infertility - male factor - so had ICSI - fresh cycle which did not work and then a frozen cycle immediately after which happily did work. I've had nothing in particular to cause concern but I feel anxious and worried partly due to my experiences this time round being clouded by the different situation.
All IVF pregs where I am are consultant-led, so we've had extra scans and I'm having an ELCS due to damage in my first birth.

I'm slightly freaking out still that 1) the embryo's been outside my body and 2) that it's been frozen. It just doesn't seem possible to me that it should result in a normal healthy baby! I'm also freaking out a bit about the 'artificial' nature of the c-section i.e. that the baby will just be taken out of me at a set date. I know this is the least risky decision for my body (as much as anyone can try and predict, of course) but it just adds to the unreal feeling.

oh and I'm also freaking out about potential risks to baby and also imagining some mixup scenario where my baby isn't mine. Now these I know are highly unlikely and I know that IVF babies generally carry slightly more incidence of risk due to the factors that make it hard to conceive in the first place (rather than being inherent to the IVF process) but I do wonder when I'll shake off these fears.
I really hope I haven't worried anyone else in the same boat. Any handholding welcome!

I've never been in the same situation as you, but for what it's worth, I can really identify with how you're feeling.
I got pregnant naturally after two failed ivf cycles.
I never really believed I was going to actually have a baby until they were in my arms. This was despite having a relatively normal pregnancy, with no red flags.
I think it's your brain's way of trying to protect you as you're used to being ready for failure.
There is no reason to believe anything will go wrong, but I totally understand how you're feeling.
I really hope for you that all of your fears come to nothing and that you will have a healthy baby when the time comes.

Do you not understand how an IVF baby can be healthy as the result of your own extensive reading and academic study, or is it based on total ignorance of any of the science behind it or the statistics regarding Other births?

Did you get a qualification in aircraft engineering before ever flying because without one you would not have understood how it gets off the ground? Or do you just fly because you trust the people who did do all the science?

Just a bit of brutal logic and unemotional brain work to try and cut through all your woolly (non) thinking!

I have twins, conceived through IVF.

They are perfect. Intelligent. Beautiful. Funny. Kind. Perfect.

Given that they are both clearly a fabulous combination of both our genetics they are undoubtedly ours.

I gave birth to them by emergency c-section. It was necessary to keep all three of us alive and I don’t regret it for a second.

thank you! Always lovely to hear about IVF babies.

kimmy it's like I understand it on an intellectual level but it's so miraculous I can't quite personally comprehend how it works. To be honest, any form of conception -and how the body just "does" pregnancy and growing a human - is mindblowing to me. (Actually, flying does happen to have a bit of a similar effect - I just have to disconnect the bit of my brain that tries to put it all together!)

I know IVF babies can be and are healthy. I think I was slightly thrown by a doctor a few months back telling me about increased risks with IVF babies (and casually saying 'if you have a c-section then you don't bond so well with your baby) - both of which I thought

I had an icsi baby, and she was born via c-section, (9 years ago now!). Ignore that nonsense about not bonding with c-section babies - what utter tosh! Don't worry about mix-ups either, honestly, it just does not happen these days, they are SO careful. Enjoy your new baby!!

That doctor is a bloody idiot. My twins weren't ivf but I had an emergency c section, both were immediately taken away and I didn't see them for nearly 7 hours. One was in nicu for 8 weeks. They're now 16 months old and love cuddles, and have definitely bonded (and so have I). Unfortunately stuff like this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you worry about it too much. I was very worried about my littler twin but I really didn't need to worry.

I had no problem bonding with my twins after my c-section. I also breastfed them.

Well the only surprise with our single ICSI frozen embryo was that it split and became two incredibly gorgeous baby girls. They were born by c-section and I can tell you without a doubt that I love them and bonded with them just the same as with my DS who was born vaginally with no drugs whatsoever (which resulted in the horrific injury that made future c-sections a must).

Calm down. In the nicest way possible way, you’re talking utter nonsense. Drs have an agenda to push when it comes to giving birth - c-sections cost more in time and resources and Drs are encouraged to discourage women from having them. C-sections are safer for mother and baby.

Congratulations and don’t let and of this spoil your good news.

Calm down. In the nicest way possible way, you’re talking utter nonsense.

good, good

I should say that as soon as this doctor said that about c-sections I knew he was talking rubbish. The actual consultant who's been helping me decide means of delivery has been brilliant and not at all trying to put me off. It's just an example of little comments that build up and make me think there's more risk involved. (My current anxiety is going into labour before the ELCS and me giving birth on the floor or not having anywhere to take DC1 - first labour ramped up very very quickly...)

He's here, he's perfect and looks very like his brother when he was a newborn! Went amazingly smoothly. Just no sleep for me and breastfeeding a bit painful but he has the strongest latch and suck in the world so no problems establishing that.