37 and contemplating is it to late??

[Egginthecity]

Hi Everyone,
I've been searching the net for advise on this but can't find anything helpful. I'm 37 and my partner is 38. We've been together 9 years and we've always said we would have kids but just haven't because of one thing or another. I've just turned 37 and I'm worried that we should really crack on with it due to my biological clock etc. Now one of the things playing on my mind is, can we actually afford it? I currently work full time, in a job I hate, but earn £31k. Which makes the hate it part bearable. He works full time and warns £29k. We have no family that could help with childcare and we privately rent. My share of the household bills is £560 plus I've got car and credit cards that total about £450.

So the short of it is, was anyone else in a similar situation and what did you do??

I'm 37 in just over 3 weeks and due first DC in just under 3 weeks. Conceived easily and quickly (much to my surprise). So definitely no need to assume it is to late from that point of view.

As far as finances go, you need to take a serious look at where your prioritise lie and deal with them ASAP. Can you sell anything in order to pay down your credit card, and change your car for something less than £1000 (I have a 13 year old fiesta, seems to be going ok 18 months after getting it), might not suit your image, but what will matter more in 10 years time, having a child or what car you used to drive. Also do a full review of your outgoings, weekly food shopping, clothes, hobbies, insurance and utility bills etc.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

They say if everyone waited til they could afford a baby, no one would have them - and theyre right. Your combined income is a lot higher than most, mine included. I woukd definitely go for it. Your not too old by any means but i would go for it before your 40, you dont know how long it will take to conceieve.

Good luck

I'm 35 and due in a few weeks. There's never a right time but 9 months is a long time to save! Find out what your maternity package is at work and then work out what you'd need in savings to cover bills and mortgage etc. You'll be surprised by how much you can save when you don't drink or socialise any more because you are a massive waddling hippo!

You have well over £1000 per month from your earnings after your bills / credit card / car. You could pay off an extra £500 per month from your credit card, which is £4500 in 9 months. You could easily live / socialise on £500 a month. That's way more than most!

I got pregnant at 37 after a year of trying and will give birth at 38. Like you I felt that time was running out. Our lives aren't perfect but we couldn't risk waiting any longer. The expense of a baby is offset by the fact that we're no longer able to drink, socialise or have hobbies.

I thought about when I was 80yrs, what i’d regret more, missing out on buying a house / luxuries or never having children. 35wks pregnant, 40yrs old, full of love for my baby already.

Just crack on, you'll figure out the money side of things.

I was almost 40 having my son. If I were to do it again I'd ha e him earlier- he's very lively and hard to keep up with, but I certainly don't regret it.

I will be 37 in a couple of weeks and am pregnant with my first, DH will be 40 this year, it's not too late.

I think you'll be fine and I wouldn't stress about your finances or age. I'm 37 and about to have my 2nd any day. Our household income is slightly higher than yours, but I tend to have high commuting expenses when I'm working so it likely evens out to be similar ish. You can always reduce your expenses and live a bit more frugally if you need to (for example, get rid of the car finance and buy something more simple and secondhand, which is what we've done). If you go back to work full-time straight away after 9-12 months of maternity leave, your childcare expenses will be about 700-1000 a month depending on where you live and what hours you really need. You'll likely be eligible for tax free childcare which should reduce the total bill by about 20%. That's the bit I would think about how you would manage. I found it was perfectly manageable by going part-time for a bit and changing around our work days (see what sort of flexible working arrangements you can set up), so that we used as little nursery as possible for the first couple years (3 days a week and then 4 days before we went full-time at nursery around 2.5). But yes, perfectly doable if it's what you want. I got pregnant easily at 37, first month trying.

I’m not in your situation at all but I got pregnant at 18, I was in an apprenticeship that I had to leave as they didn’t offer any kind of maternity package. My partner works full time and we private rent too. Our rent is 575 and our monthly shop comes to about 250 and then utility on top is about 150. I’m on benefits atm but will be looking at getting back to work in a few months. You might not think it’s manageable but there are a lot of things that help for example if you’re in the uk you can apply for a grant of £500 to help you out with the big stuff like cot and pram, you’ll get healthy start vouchers for milk and fruit and veggies, your maternity pay is usually about the same as what you’re currently earning. This may sound money grabbing but if you have a baby shower you’ll get so much to help you out, I got everything I needed at mine except a cot and pram. There’s also a lot of baby giveaways in magazines or places like boots. It is manageable even if you have to go without a few luxuries. If it were me I wouldn’t want to look back and regret not having babies for the sake of living comfortably. Best of luck

Yes crack on but you'll probably be fine. Check out how much maternity pay you'll get from your employer as statutory maternity pay is only £140 à week for 39 weeks. If you return to work, nursery will cost around £1000 à month full-time but do check out local rates.
As others have said, nobody would have kids if we waited until we thought we could afford it and you have reasonable incomes. You might find you'll have to make adjustments to your lifestyle anyway.

Wow definitely can afford... I'm expecting number 3 and our combined wage is 39k a year....

P.s I'm 38... DH 39 almost 40

Go make a baby

Go for it! I had my first last year at 36 and thinking if we do want another we'd best crack on.

It's surprising how you manage, outgoings and priorities change (we used to earn £50k plus between us but a lot went on going out which we rarely do nowadays!) and like a pp said, if you waited til you were financially ready you'd never do it!