Plus size

[Isu95]

Hi everyone.

I'm 7 and a half month pregnant and I'm a plus size woman. I need to say that I'm so scared.... all I can read online and what the midwife told me it's bad things about it.... I'm gonna have a bad pregnancy, I'm gonna have a lot of problems with my health, I'll have to get a c-section, I can lose the baby...
A lot of horrible stuff that is just making me feel horrible with myself... and making me wonder if this is a good idea or if I just don't deserve to have this baby 😖.

It just feels horrible... and I don't know what to do..😔

Any advice...

Step the fuck away from Google for a start. If your midwife is that concerned about your health or the baby's they should have referred you for consultant led care by now, has that happened?

My BMI was 41 when I got pregnant and I’m having a perfectly healthy pregnancy. My friend was slightly higher and hers was fine and perfectly fine delivery, I used to be part of a different pregnancy forum and knew lots of plus sized ladies who had perfectly fine pregnancy and births!

Don’t worry!! Your baby will be fine and you will be fine. Chances are you’ll lose some weight when baby arrives and you’re busier (after nesting period). I gained weight due to medication and my back and I was losing it rapidly when I became pregnant and had to stop. You’ll do great

My BMI is 37, what the midwife said is that I should have a few more scans than a "normal" woman and that I should take aspirin... idk I'm so scared

In your shoes I'd make an extra appointment with the midwife and ask for more information - if you're at the point where you're too anxious to listen properly, take someone calm and reliable with you to take notes. What concrete concerns does she have about you - blood pressure? Gestational diabetes? Iron levels? If she does have additional concerns then why hasn't she referred you to be consultant-led?

She sounds like she's got a bit of a rough bedside manner to say the least but she should be able to clearly explain what the realistic risks are and what you can do about them.

Fwiw I was plus-sized throughout my pregnancy. My blood pressure readings were fine throughout, I had no problems with blood iron or sugar levels, but I was aware that there were some things I was at higher risk of. I wasn't terrified though - I think your midwife needs to be aware that you're at that level of anxiety because that in itself won't help.

I am very overweight and was at my biggest when I was pregnant. I had a perfect pregnancy and a perfect delivery. No complications, no trouble pushing, no pain relief whatsoever (even no gas and air). Sometimes midwives are idiots. I was mid way through a push when one came in to see how we were getting on with the final stage and shouted at me ‘you are overweight you need to push like this’ and man handled me into a different position. When she walked out the midwife who was actually with me throughout helped me back into my original position and told me as long as I was comfortable and the baby was ok that’s all that mattered and to ignore the other one. Follow medical advice obviously but follow your body most of all. You know how you feel best, don’t let others scare you

You should enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. When I had my second child I had a bmi Of 41. Absolutely perfect pregnancy and birth. Please don't worry. Oh a big fuck you to the midwife who said "normal women" cheeky fucker.
I had to see a consultant due to my weight but all was fine.

My BMI was 39 when pregnant btw