Missed miscarriage - any experience and advice?

[Jen41]

So my conception date was 14 November (no ambiguity, it was definitely that date)
I’m 42 so knew my risk was high so a week ago went for a private viability scan
They said the scan was difficult - tilted uterus or something (I always have to be awkward somehow), but she could see sac etc and tiny foetal pole 2.5mm
The sonography was pretty sure that she should be able to see much more at this stage, if my dates were correct (they are)
So she thought missed miscarriage.

Hospital wouldn’t take referral from the private scan clinic
GP wouldn’t refer until I went in for docs appt which they made me wait a week for

In the meantime my midwife appt came through so I called and left message saying I’d had a missed miscarriage and didn’t need it

Been in today. GP made me take another pregnancy test which is still strongly pregnant
She fannied about telling me I should have taken the midwife appt but finally called the hospital when I said I didn’t want to waste more time with appts to talk about the same thing
Hospital then said they wouldn’t see me because I still had positive test and had no bleeding or pain

So I had to get upset and kick off to say I’m not waiting weeks for another scan to end up with the same outcome. In the end they caved and booked me in for Tuesday morning for another scan

Am I going mad or something? The sonography was pretty clear what she thought. All my pregnancy symptoms have disappeared this week. Why are they all dragging this out - I’m pretty emotionally resilient but this seems a bit much? What kind of miracle are they expecting?

Has anyone got any experience of this?

I dont have any experience, however I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're going through this. I became incredibly frustrated for you just reading your post! I hope you get your answers soon.

If your conception date was the 14th of Nov, you should be 10 weeks now. I think you're right that a 2.5mm fetal pole sounds too small for what you would have been when you had the scan, 9 weeks?

The midwives should have booked you in for a follow up scan right away that's probably true, but I would have at least kept the midwife appt so you could follow up directly with them. GPs are useless when it come to pregnancy and I wouldn't have wasted my time seeing one. But if you'd kept your original appt you probably would be seen for a scan anyway around next week, but it might have pushed it through a bit faster.

Anyway, when I had my missed mc, it was noted on a private scan at 8 weeks (measured 5 weeks, but I knew my dates were right because I had a positive pregnancy test 5 weeks before the scan date). I had had a very tiny bit of spotting the day before the private scan (total coincidence, not the reason I booked the scan). But when I rang the midwives after my private scan, they booked me in the next day for a scan in the EPU, which confirmed what the private scan showed. Unfortunately, in order for the NHS to offer any intervention, you do need two non-viable NHS scans at least a week apart. So be prepared that whatever your scan on Tuesday shows, you'll need to come back for a further scan the following week before they will offer medical management or a d&c. Unfortunately, the private scans aren't always good and they don't always get it right. They may even be so not good that you get to your scan and all looks well and her measurements were off and you have a healthy baby (it's not unusual for symptoms to stop around that time anyway, mine did at 10 weeks, I even had heavy bleeding, but I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy on the scan and my daughter is 5 now! So that isn't always an obvious sign). It's unlikely that her measurements were completely off, but it's possible, especially if you only had an abdominal scan and you have a tilted uterus. So try to be patient and be prepared. They need to know they aren't terminating a healthy pregnancy that you actually want. So it will take some time.

I know it's hard to be in limbo. I waited 6 weeks (by choice) for a natural mc to happen after my scans confirmed it. It didn't and I opted for a d&c eventually. But once I got into the EPU for my care, they were absolutely lovely and supportive.

Thank you both for your messages and thanks mindutopia, some useful info in there. Better switch my patience up to full power eh.