I just need a rant!!

[Mumbofeet]

Just completely fed up of people thinking that because they've had a baby before and its my first that they know best! Every day at work i get it off this woman that my idea of no pain relief and a water birth is ridiculous and i WILL ask for an epidural (my birth plan isn't strict, its just what I'd like but im open to changing my mind at the time, i am just dead set against an epidural). She has no idea what my pain threshold is like or how I plan to manage it just because she went straight in for an epidural, feel like knocking her teeth out when she just laughs and says 'aww no pain relief that's sweet'

Oh and then i get 'you say you're relaxed about how you'll feed baby and not bothered if she has breast or bottle but I promise you once you give up breastfeeding and give her a bottle you'll feel guilty'. Erm no I won't because I've seen babys very poorly because they're dehydrated, I'll feed my baby with whatever milk she can get.

Anyone else fed up of having no opinion on their own pregnancy/birth/baby??

Omg YES! I get that people who have already had children probably have more knowledge than me, but I'm not a total idiot. I hate this so much, everyones experiences are so different anyway how can they just assume you will feel exactly like them?

I actually kept my pregnancy off facebook mainly for this reason, as a few people I know but don't see often are so likely to be like this. Its been great actually, nice and private and only people I see all the time know. But obviously everyone.in work knows and that's where I've had all the annoying comments.

I've just got to the point where I smile and nod without saying anything. I want the same as you regarding the birth, and if I manage to do it that way then at least that'll show the people who say I can't do it how wrong they are. Plus the breastfeeding thing. There is so much bloody judgement about that. I'm planning on trying for a week and if it doesn't work I refuse to beat myself up over it. Sorry for the long rant

Nod and smile and create a tiny likeness of her to stab in private.

Yup yup yup. My personal bugbear is people who try telling me C-sections mean you haven't tried hard enough or are 'too posh to push'. My baby is measuring 95th percentile, and I've known all along that family history on my side is for enormous sprogs (I was over 9lbs, dad was over 10lbs and my 6ft2 brother was a whopping 11lb11 at birth). If a midwife thinks that a C-section is safer for me and for my oversized DS, I will be having one, thank you very much!

Oh, and the other favourite "you think you're tired now, just wait until the baby arrives"...

Oh, and the other favourite "you think you're tired now, just wait until the baby arrives"...

Oh god yes, I've managed to let most unsolicited opinions wash over me, but this makes me completely

That and MILs constant digs about me actually sticking to the nhs 'what's safe to eat in pregnancy' guidelines past the first trimester. Apparently according to her the French don't change anything except giving up booze and fags and their babies are fine (she's not french btw, not sure what she's basing this on). And she also says that giving up foods in pregnancy is the reason allergies are on the rise

Thanks OP, I think I needed a bit of a rant too!

You get that here on MN as well. People will come and aww say is it your first as if you are a total idiot.

It happens when it’s not your first too! I’ve had unsolicited advice and comments from my MIL, who last had a child 25 years ago whereas I had one 7 years ago (and don’t feel qualified to advise pregnant women!).

I also have a childless male colleague who has so far told me to expect constant weeing & swollen ankles as well as telling me that I probably won’t return to work as 2 children will be a job in itself and also that I’ll have to move out of London to accommodate them 🙄😒.

Not the same as unsolicited advice, I know it's just a conversation filler and the people saying it are lovely and it's all good, but "your life is going to change!"

No shit Sherlock!!

To be fair .. loads of people were right with the advice they offered me that I thought I didn't want

Oh I love this!!!

First time mummy and the worst thing I get is, you think having a baby is easy? You ganna have someone to look after 24/7. Your life is completely going to change.... blah blah blah. Clearly it common sense but why does it have to come across so negative?!!!

I am sure it not going to be easy and I know I will be looking after my precious baby 24/7 and hell yes my life is going to change.... but all for better!!!! Positive thinking guys!

Drives me mad too! Worries based on actual doctor's advice dismissed as "first baby" anxiety is one, and as a PP said, the scoffing at following NHS food guidelines another.

I know the risks are small but I choose to follow medical advice by not taking them. What makes it worse is that 99% of the time people don't even know why the advice is given, i.e. believing that rare lamb doesn't matter as long as the outside is cooked, without understanding that toxoplasmosis tissue cysts can be found inside the meat.

Haha so glad everyone else gets as wound up as me! Im usually very chilled and grateful for any advice but when people TELL me how i will cope with my own baby i just want to punch them. NOT inviting her round to mine when I've had baby! Although im sure she'll come round anyway to tell me I've picked the wrong type of babygrow...

@Mumbofeet that really made me laugh hahaha... how about all the horrific labour stories 😂 as if we are the first ones to give birth.....

A friend had her first with absolutely nothing - not even gas and air. You can do it! As she is only a work colleague I would tell her that I don't want to talk about my pregnancy anymore/or with her. Then change the subject!

Im on my 4th with a huge age gap between my others. As im also a little older (38) i keep on being told im not going to cope after all this time. Mmmm as if i knew what i was doing at 18!!! All my previous births were totally natural only because they were so bloody quick but was open to anything that would help ease the pain. But the worst im getting now is, this lo will b by section due to other health issues, iv done it naturally b4 im letting myself down etc.....grrrrr

The 'think your tired now' comment. FUUCCKKK OFFFF.

Lots of women actualy prefer the sleep they get after birth. So shove that in 'yer pipe!!!!

The 'think you're tired now' comment is so annoying!!

Another thing that is really winding me up is everyone thinking it's ok to comment on my looks/weight!? I have not put on weight anywhere but my bump, from behind you can't even tell I'm pregnant yet two of my aunties jokingly called me 'fatty' at a family gathering this weekend, and one colleague KEEPS telling me how HUGE and MASSIVE I am 🙄 I need to think of a smart response to shut them up. I've had a few 'are you sure it's not twins' which I really hate people saying because originally it was and we lost one very early on.

I know I'm perfectly normal sized but I find it so bloody rude!! No one would ever speak to you like that if you weren't pregnant!