Baby's surname

[Miajesse97]

Hey again girls got a lot of questions recently ... please no nasty comments or make me feel bad as I'm still deciding but when my little one is here I want him or her to have my last name and my partners also? Does anyone else have this at all or is it completely unheard off. Without going into my background my dad abounded me when I was younger and I was left with his last name and Worst care sceneario I wouldn't want that happening again so want my lil one to have both names but my partner is not happy about this and it's causing arguments? Just some advice please am I being unreasonable?

We gave ds double barrelled surname as we both wanted to have our surname used. I haven't been questioned if going abroad or registering for anything as It's obvious we have a linked surname. Downside is we both have surnames that are not easy to spell, so learning to write will be a nightmare for him. But being a multi-cultural society means people are more used to different names. Ds can change it to whatever he wants if he doesn't like it in later life.

If you aren't married the hospital will automatically record the baby with your surname. I think if your DP want the baby to have his name he needs to marry you

This is untrue. You can register the baby with whatever surname you wish, whether yours, his, a mix, or something completely different

It is not untrue (actually it is slightly, being married has nothing to do with it). Hospitals use the mother's name on the babies records. All three of mine were 'Baby Fosco' in hospital and on their original NHS record (Fosco is my name not DH's). When we then went to register them they got their full name and the NHS record was then changed. Historically children always had their mother's name, that was usually also their father's name in England if their mother was married.

Anyway, I still stand by my conclusion: give the baby your name unless he marries you.

Our daughter's surname is hisname-myname.

Mine have that. They are: first name - middle name - my surname - dh surname.

Ditto

Anyway, I still stand by my conclusion: give the baby your name unless he marries you.

How does that help?

I’m married to DH. DD has his surname, not mine.

I wouldnt marry him op. Give baby your name and think about his general attitude/

Give the baby your surname only. Your partner does not sound that nice.

Why are you with this man who you say 'goes mental' when you try to compromise on something like your own baby's surname? He sounds like an arsehole and for that reason I'd just be giving baby your surname!

In answer to your question though, DH and I both double-barelled our surnames when we got married, we're both His Surname-My Surname since then (that way round purely as we thought it sounded best). It's 6 syllables and my surname is 'foreign'. Our children will have the same surname (I'm pregnant now). We talked about what surname our children would have before we even got married and that was nearly 4 years ago. I don't think it's ideal to have these potentially emotive conversations when you're already pregnant tbh. Better that people's expectations are managed early on so you can see whether you're on the same page.

I want the baby to have my boyfriends name, partly because I much prefer his surname to mine! It was my suggestion from the start to do this. Our surnames together sound stupid together so we haven't been considering doing double barrelled. I am a bit concerned about travel etc though - if we just use my surname as a middle name on official documents but don't hyphenate and don't use it on a day to day basis, would it be enough for me to travel with the baby on my own without the hassle?

My DS has a double barrelled. Mine then his Father's on birth ceritificate and passport
When ExP and I were together I just used Ex DPs surname as mine was more "forrin".
Since we split; I use both on all official documents.
I know loads of kids whose parents aren't married doing this

Both my children have my surname and DH's surname as a middle name.

DH never questioned it.

if we just use my surname as a middle name on official documents but don't hyphenate and don't use it on a day to day basis, would it be enough for me to travel with the baby on my own without the hassle?

I’ve travelled a lot with DD and never had any hassle. I’m not sure whether that’s because DD has my surname as her middle name or because the hassle is a MN thing.