"Are your work being understanding?" Need a vent...

[MrsMcW]

This is more of a moan than a question but I need to rant!

I'm 28+5 and look like a galleon under full sail, my bump is so enormous. Every time I see friends they say "oh but your company must be being so understanding by now" and I just feel like laughing. I work as PA to the head of a small company in the City, who seems to have decided the best way to deal with his assistant being pregnant is just to pretend it's not happening. There's no chance of me amending my working hours to the extent that I'm still expected to put in overtime (I worked a 12 hour day yesterday, plus a 45minute commute each way). My boss threw a hissy fit the other day when I had to take a morning off for the full glucose test (I was higher risk for GD as diabetes runs in my family) and tried to demand I take the time as annual leave, and is increasingly bolshy about every appointment.

Final straw came last night when he called me into his office to ask me to arrange an all-company bowling night for late February. When I gently suggested that I might not be the best person to organise it (as I'll be 35 weeks by then and really not up to going on a late-night company bender, nor chucking bowling balls around) he again got arsey and laid down the law that attendance is mandatory for me and just to get on with it. Planning on having a chat with HR about that one...

Anyone else need a vent? Make me feel better and that I'm not alone with a d*ckhead boss! 8 weeks to mat leave...

This sounds horrendous OP and you have my full sympathy. Is this a job you'd like to return to after mat leave?

My previous employers were absolute dicks about my pregnancy too, no understanding and I signed a SAG at 14 weeks, effectively starting my lovely long mat leave right then. I was the HR Manager too, so I felt very alone and isolated to say the least! What's your sickness entitlement? Time to start thinking about factoring that into your leave too?

Do you get sick pay? Do you have any holiday left to take? Would you plan to return to this role once the baby is born?

To be honest I'd consider being signed off sick if this carries on.

Hope you're having a better day today. You definitely need to speak to HR/ Legal about all this. Are there other heads of departments who you get on with in the company who could provide support e.g. if they may have a different approach and as your direct bosses peers could offer support. You shouldn't have to take sick leave because your boss is being unreasonable however a statement to HR from your doctor on impact to your health / health of the baby due to extended hours may help. Good luck and hope you get the support you need soon.

If you take sick leave due to pregnancy you may be forced to start your maternity leave early. I think this is how maternity policy/ law works in a lot of places. Obviously, whilst this sounds brilliant, this will mean you have less maternity leave (paid) available from when your baby is born. I would try HR / legal so you have support whatever you decide to do.

I would get signed off sick, then use any annual leave, then start maternity leave.
You need to think about you and the baby.

Thanks for the lovely messages - I'm definitely in two minds about coming back after mat leave! My ideal solution would be to come back and work for a different manager, but obviously keeping quiet on that one for now... wouldn't put it past my current boss to find a reason to make me redundant if he knew my thoughts. I'm very aware that if/when I come back I won't be able to work the same hours as I'll need to factor in childcare, which unfortunately might give him a case against me.

I've spoken to HR about him already, who are being very supportive but as he both owns and runs the company there's not a lot she (there's only one of her in the department and she's part time at that!) can do! I've been lucky so far in that it's been an easy-ish pregnancy and I'm coping for now. Just seething internally!

Men just don't get it!

Maybe cry one day from exhaustion, he'll freeze on the spot and won't know what to do!

My sister is a PA and there are always jobs in this area, especially in the city. To be honest if he made you redundant it might not be a bad thing. I can't see the job working with a young child. This week I've had to leave work early twice as my DS had to be collected from nursery. Unless your DH/DP can take complete responsibility for that sort of stuff of you have help from family you need some sort of support/understanding from work.

Given he runs and owns the business the culture of the place is unlikely to work for you long term I'd imagine.

Life is too short for dealing with shit, I'd be making plans to get out ASAP.

www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=6079

Seriously talk to ACAS. your boss is breaking the law.

You are legally entitled to time off for appointments relating to your pregnancy, and you shouldn't feel guilty about those either. Like pp said consult acas and also citizens advice, maternity advice and labour relations (although they might just be in NI) to get up to speed on your rights. During pregnancy you're in your "protected period" which means employers need to be very careful how they treat you to avoid unfair dismissal etc. I am currently going through redundancy at week 27 so have spent alot of time recently looking up my rights. Long term though I'm thinking that leaving work slightly earlier than I'd expected is not the end of the world, especially if it means I'm out of an environment where I feel undervalued and stressed that I need to overwork myself for an ungrateful employer! It sounds like you're in a similar situation. Good luck!