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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Inevitable miscarriage but told I have to wait

4 replies

NikkiM87 · 10/01/2018 00:49

Hi. Please someone give me some advice. Since finding out I was pregnant on the 14th December, I’ve had nothing but problems. My HCG wasn’t rising properly (rising a maximum of 29% over 2 days but normally less) so was put on the risk list for an ectopic. They found something in my uterus measuring 5 weeks when I should have been 5+4 and I was told to return a week later.
I did. The sac had barely grown. I was told to return a week later, but to expect a miscarriage before then. I had more bloods taken and then I was called in for an emergency scan because My HCG was still rising too slowly. The nurse had me panicking for a while. She said the thing they thought was a sac in my uterus was just a ball of fluid and she couldn’t locate the pregnancy. So started saying it was ectopic.
Then a specialist had a look and confirmed the thing in my uterus was a sac but it was still empty. I should now be 7+3 weeks and it’s still measuring 5+4 weeks.
I’m so angry though because I’ve accepted that this pregnancy isn’t meant to happen. And now I just want it to be over and to be able to move on. But this specialist has requested I now wait another 2 weeks before he will scan me again to confirm and terminate.
Even though he said my hormones indicate a non viable pregnancy.
He also wouldn’t listen to me when I told him I was exact on my dates and that the sac measured the same 2 weeks ago as it did today so why do I have to wait another 2 weeks. My mum thinks it’s because they want the pregnancy to end naturally but I feel no cramps or any signs of miscarriage and My HCG is still rising slowly.
It’s my husbands 30th birthday the day after my next appt and we’re going away for a couple of days and I’m concerned that if they wait til then to terminate the pregnancy that I’ll be too poorly to go. And I can’t wait til after we get back bin pulling my hair out and don’t know what to do. Do I have a choice in the matter?

OP posts:
Graphista · 10/01/2018 00:58

They're not doing it to be cruel, it's best your body manages the mc if possible, from a medical/health perspective.

Sorry you're going through this, been there myself. Flowers

mindutopia · 10/01/2018 10:06

Sorry you're in this limbo. It's really hard. Unfortunately, they have to be absolutely certain that the pregnancy isn't viable and that's by doing at least two scans at least a week apart and getting conclusive evidence of no growth. It sounds like it's pretty obvious, but they really need to know for sure based on the scan results. It sounds like you've had lots of scans, but there was some confusion about what they are seeing at one point. There is a certain protocol they have to follow as unfortunately there have been instances when it was rushed and someone ended up terminating a perfectly healthy pregnancy. So they are very cautious. I had 3 scans all measuring exactly the same with no confusion at all before I was offered intervention. The waiting was awful, but I knew in my heart what the outcome was and it gave me time to prepare. When the time came (I waited 6 weeks by my own choice for a natural mc as that's what I wanted, ultimately needed a d&c as it didn't happen), they were lovely and supportive and it was as positive as it could have been under the circumstances. I know it's hard though.

NikkiM87 · 10/01/2018 13:24

Thankyou both for your honest and caring replies. Your absolutely right. Even though I’m 99% sure it’s not good, I need to be 100%. Otherwise (and I know I will) I will always wonder what if....
I’d rather be able to say I waited and did everything possible to help and gave it the best possible chance rather then give up on it without really knowing for sure.
And I have heard stories of people terminating a healthy pregnancy too early. I’d never forgive myself if that happened to me.
It is just a hard waiting game and 4 weeks feels like 4 years in pregnancy. That is one thing I have learnt during this time. Patience.
This forum has been wonderful and so helpful and the people here are so reassuring.

OP posts:
Graphista · 10/01/2018 13:43

It is INCREDIBLY hard but sadly it's the way it has to be - you really do need to know for yourself you did all you could

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