5 months pregnant with no.3 and husband stated he no longer loves me

[Lostinmarriage]

Hello, I am new to this. I am 5 months pregnant with our 3rd child and husband stated he no longer loves me. We have not been getting on for over a year, I've not settled in Wales for 2.5yrs since we've lived here. He blames me saying I've not tried, I'm desperate to return closer to friends and family but he is refusing to. Said he may consider in 2 yrs time but I'm desperately unhappy and it's affecting my children aged 3yrs and 19 months. We argue, cry, shout, scream, disagree and I've not stopped loving him although I don't like him now. Can we recover or do I need to return to a place I believe will make me happier without him?

You could recover but it needs both of you to want to try. So that's step 1 - find out if he wants to make things work.

If he does it really sounds like you will need counselling to help you compromise and work through your issues. So step 2 - is he willing to do this or suggest another practical way forward.

If he's not on board you need to start thinking about life without him. I'd get legal advice on money, moving etc

Also I'm sorry op, this is very hard and sad.

Hi can I join? Personally I think you and your children’s happiness is the main thing to focus on and if that means going closer to family I would. You have to remember you have a baby in your body and you don’t want to stress them out plus your a mum of 2 already you have enough on your plate without worrying about a man. You will always be a mum and that’s what matters most in my eyes

Thank you both, he back tracked and said he doesn't love me as I am, he said I'm not the person he married. He understands I am depressed and says I need help to understand why, I know exactly why and it's because I miss friends, family and the zest for life which isn't in the tiny mining village we moved to. He doesn't recognise any of the responsibility as being his. He's said he'll move in 2 years but I very much doubt he ever will. I think I have to stay whilst I have no. 3, I've sought legal advice already which is positive if he doesn't fiddle his self employment figures. I'll remain for 2 years and if he doesn't move I will as 2/3 children will be in school and the baby will nearly be 2 pre-school age and I could return to work. Something that's not easy at 5/6 months pregnant. My years contract at PT work ends today (Sod's law). Thank you for listening and commenting.

It's good you're thinking practically. But you should also think about how to help your mental health in those two years.

Can you get friends to visit you. Can you visit them. Can you Skype them more. Can you take an online course. Is there stuff in the village you could get involved in. Can you talk to your gp about feeling depressed.

You need to move before two years. To register your oldest child at school etc, you will need to be settle before then.

I’d move now.

He could prevent you from taking the children if they’re settled in school where you currently are.

I’d move now and enroll them in schools where you are happy to live near your friends and family.

I want more than anything to move now but I'm afraid of having my newborn and 2 in addition with no help or support from husband as its his responsibility! However I know I'd get the support near family and friends. Ultimately I'd rather not split up but he is making my life very hard indeed and neither of us are enjoying one another or being kind.

Sounds like you need to move and if he isn't on board with that you may have to go without him. I'm an Englishwoman in Wales and it's tough to integrate. I've been here 15 years and managed but I'll probably always be a little bit of an outsider. Easier now I'm in Cardiff because it's full of people from all over but still, I've found it easier in all the other places I've lived!!