Having a wobble about DC#2

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

I’m 17 weeks with DC #2 and having a major wobble. Since becoming pregnant I’ve been battling severe morning sickness, I’m on the strongest meds they’ll let me take for this (Ondansetron). At 12 weeks, after a successful dating scan, I had a huge bleed which saw me blue-lighted TK hospital. It turned out to be a sub chorionic haematoma. I’ve been bleeding ever since. My hospital are v good and last scanned me about 10 days ago.

DH is self employed and recently lost a longstanding contract that offered us a relative degree of financial security.

Our landlord is selling our house and we have to move by the middle of March, we’ve decided to relocate outside of the city we live in. I have to try and find a house 80 miles away and sort out all the moving stuff and then, once we’re in, sort out changing hospitals/drs/etc.

We have a 3yo son with additional needs and I need to sort out primary school deferral for him too.

I just feel like I’m drowning and cannot cope with another child. I haven’t let myself think of this baby as a reality yet, it’s difficult when you’re bleeding and have to prepare yourself for potentially bad news at every scan. I feel awful for my poor DS stuck in the centre of all this.

I just feel completely trapped.

It's hard now, but in a year when your moved and settled, and your baby is here. It will all be worth it.

Hugs to you OP

I'm sorry things have been so hard for you.

Have you got family around to help out with DD1 so you can get some rest etc? (Especially important if sickness and the bleed x).

If it helps, we sorted house moving and moved house when I was pregnant with DD2, I was also suffering with sickness (Although it was a lot better by the time we moved). My DH ended up having to go to a and e on moving day; and had to stay in. Luckily my dad was over to help with moving! It was stressful..!, but... I'm sat here now, with both DDs fast asleep, in the house I moved into x. All was fine in the end .. 🙂🙂.

I actually also had a bleed with DD2 , although towards the very end of my pregnancy. Sickness is horrible and can just feel so never ending, and horrible and relentless x. A bleed is so scary (It sounds like mine wasn't as bad as yours, but such such a scary thing to happen). But again, as I say, I now have 2 DDs x. Sorry bit long winded...; what I'm trying to say is we seem to have had reasonably similar experiences, and I'm here to (happily I suppose!) , tell the tale x.

Please do get help if you can (ie family looking after DD1 routinely?) - looking back Now I really should have put DD1 in nursery more , (we don't have family locally) but it's so easy to just 'carry on'; when actually, there's no other time in life really when it's so important to take care of yourself xx.

Regarding finances, I'm sorry you've lost that stability, but I'm sure something else will come up? X.

Sorry.. re your bleed , when I had mine I was told strictly no lifting for ... a week?, I think..? As I say, yours sounds worse than mine was. Have they given any instruction like that?

If so, all the more reason to get DD1 with grandparents etc?, and for you to have a cup of tea with tv ... xx

I’m not lifting atm but tbh all the doctors have said to just carry on as normally as possible, and that nothing can be done to heal/prevent it.

I have absolutely nobody around that I can call on to watch DS. All family are scattered around the country.

O I also had to have lots of scans and appointments towards the end, as the baby was small/worried not growing etc (As found out when I had scan bleed).

I worried a bit about older DD1 - I wasn't doing much with her as was so sick st the beggining etc, then lots of appointments towards the end etc

Now.... when I ask her if she remembers when mummy was pregnant/when her sister was born she sort of nods vaguely. She remembers in much detail though her trip to a 'special' soft play and ice cream place my mum and sister took her too (a few days after DD2s birth ... ).

O that is really hard. Childcare? Or could they visit? X. (As long as they would be a help rather than hinderance..?! ) x.

Is your DH at least around at the weekends to give you a break? X

When I was suffering from severe sickness my mental health took a right bashing and I constantly questioned whether I even wanted a baby and was convinced I wouldn’t cope and it was all a mistake (I’d been TTC for over a year, so it was very much planned!).

However once the worst of the sickness passed (I’m now 21 weeks and only sick a couple of times a week and the relentless nausea has mostly gone) I started to feel excited about the baby. It’s hard to feel positive when you are so so sick, and sounds like you have more than sickness to contend with.