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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

People buying baby gifts

14 replies

CuriousVole · 05/01/2018 13:47

I’m about 22 weeks now but as a lot of my friends have had babies they have been giving me lots of things, and I got bought a few things for Christmas too. I even got a lot of things given to me just after the first scan.

What are your thoughts on this? Any superstitions? I’ve got to admit it makes me feel a little uneasy, but maybe I should just get excited. I’ve been a little anxious throughout this pregnancy so far due to mmc last year.

I’ve not bought anything myself yet, just started looking at prams, cots and car seats

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Bellamuerte · 05/01/2018 13:52

I'd have loved to be given things - I had to buy everything! It can be tricky if people try to give you stuff that's in poor condition though; it's difficult to refuse without sounding rude.

Original poster

CuriousVole · 05/01/2018 13:57

I am really grateful don’t get me wrong, I just don’t know the right timings for these things. Yeah that would be a tricky one I wouldn’t want to be rude if something wasn’t in good condition

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Bellamuerte · 05/01/2018 15:59

As long as you have space to store it and it's in decent condition, take whatever you can get! If it's not in good condition you can politely get away with "Thanks but I already bought one of those / My sister has already given me one" etc.

Stargirl17 · 05/01/2018 16:00

I think it's lovely that you're being given things, people are just trying to help! I'm 21 weeks and have had some bits and pieces passed on to us, which has been great. A couple we know who had a baby a few months ago keep trying to sell things to us that they've bought and haven't liked, I'm finding that a bit weird!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 05/01/2018 16:34

I feel like other people haven't understood your actual concern...

I'm also pregnant after miscarriage (though only 12 weeks) and I totally get why this makes you feel uncomfortable. I have this totally illogical attitude to 'tempting fate' too - I know it's not real, but deep down I'm very superstitious about it. As I said, I'm much earlier than you, but I wouldn't have a baby item in the house, and I hate when DH or my family say 'when' not 'if'.

I think I'd accept the gifts but put them all away in one place. That way you don't have to see them every day if they make you feel a bit uncomfy. Also, that way, if the worst did happen (which is very unlikely at this point!) you could just get someone else - a friend or family member - to gather it all up and get rid. Again, I don't think that's going to happen, and it might be that it'll make you feel better to just embrace it and try and feel as confident as everyone else does about this pregnancy! But if you don't want to do that, I think you can compromise in a way that doesn't involve you turning down kindly meant gifts.

LittleFox01 · 05/01/2018 16:56

I completely understand how you feel. I had my 20 week scan just after Christmas so was planning to start buying a few bits after that. However I had a private scan at 17 weeks due to a previous loss at 17 weeks, I found out the sex at the scan and my work friends were very keen to find out, so I let them know and my manager is also pregnant with her second and is having a girl so she got all of her boy clothes out and said I could buy them from her, i said i wasn't looking to buy anything until after Christmas but she sorted it out before, so I ended up having them all beforehand, But I don't regret it, we are very close to being all done with buying stuff. I feel a lot better knowing that I'm organised and ready for our arrival. Although some days I sit and think "what if" but then I have to be positive! Xx

EastDulwichWife · 05/01/2018 17:00

Put them all in one cupboard that you don't use and that way you won't have to remember that they're there. You've had your 20 week scan and all is well (I assume from your post) so there's no reason to think anything is going to change now. And remember, superstition is just that! Having a draw full of (free!) baby clothes isn't going to affect anything. x

ForeverHopeful21 · 05/01/2018 17:12

Anything I have been given I have passed on to my mum for her to keep at her house as I don't feel comfortable having baby items yet.
I'm 25 weeks and bought a pram this week - its the first thing we've bought and although it was exciting, I've had that delivered to my mums house too. Luckily she doesn't mind!

I think its amazing that people want to buy gifts or donate items, but it can be overwhelming if you have anxiety about the pregnancy or have previously suffered a loss.

molifly · 05/01/2018 17:49

I'm 26 weeks, and have given everything to MIL for safe keeping and won't buy anything until 30 weeks

Intelinside · 05/01/2018 17:51

No such thing as superstitions. What will be will be, and you're not jinxing anything by accepting gifts.

alibee26 · 05/01/2018 19:19

Don't believe in surpersticions. If something is meant to happen - good or bad, it will happen and nothing you do or say will stop it from happening.

TheyMadeMeSignUp · 05/01/2018 19:22

The good thing about people giving you things early is you know what you don’t need to buy yourself. We were given lots - but people waited until baby had arrived and I’d panic bought things in the last few weeks of pregnancy thinking we wouldn’t have enough.

Original poster

CuriousVole · 05/01/2018 20:30

thank you, you all make a lot of sense. Lisa and Fox I’m so sorry to hear of you loss and yes that’s why I feel a bit uncomfortable about it but I’m very grateful nonetheless!

I was lucky enough to have a good result at the 20 week scan so I do need to enjoy it and relax more I know.

Brilliant idea I’ll store it at my mums until a bit later on

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happymummy12345 · 05/01/2018 20:33

I'm very superstitious and only got the bare essentials before the baby was born, and I didn't have anything in the house either. So I would struggle to accept. And I would ask someone else to store them for me.

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