Fed up of being told what to think & eat

[Paperchains1986]

I'm going mad with people telling me what I can and can't eat, do, say, think... gah!

I've had:

1. You shouldn't eat those scallops
2. Stilton is the worst thing you can eat
3. You can't eat paella, as it's shellfish!
4. You should be eating more nuts
5. Don't even have formula in the house otherwise you'll be tempted to use it instead of breastfeed
6. How hot is the bath?! (By my husband, every time I get in the tub which is daily)
7. You can get pregnant any day of your cycle (what the...!)
8. (When I had laryngitis) You'll be wishing you had laryngitis when you're in labour

10. Don't bother with hypnobirthing, no-one remembers it in labour 11. You should ask yourself why you care about finding out the sex

All this is bollocks, perhaps not 9 and 10 admittedly, but they are totally unhelpful.

Argh! They can all fuck off. Particularly the one person that lectured me on NYE about seafood, when you haven't even been flipping pregnant.

Any tips for destressing?

Oh, the other thing is "you're not even that pregnant" as I'm only just over 17 weeks... that was NYE too when I said I was tired and cold being outside at 12.30am...

1 - bollocks. Enjoy them!
2 - whatever. It's hard cheese. It's fine.
3 - see 1.
4 - eat as many as you want.
5 - total bollocks. I had formula in the house. I ebfd for 6 months and am still bfing now at 26 months.
6 - I love a hot bath. Enjoy them whilst you can still get in and out of them without crane assistance.
7 - eh???
8 - to be fair, they've got a point.
9 - where's 9??? 😂
10 - again, tbf, they've got a point.
11 - I didn't want to find out. But couldn't care less if someone does.

Tell them all to fuck off, it's soooo annoying!

In regards to #10 give them a double fuck off, hypnobirthing was amazing, I 100% used it and loved it. I was told 100 times that I would sack it off and opt for an epidural...nope, hypnobirthing worked a charm!

Congratulations on your pregnancy op.

Tips for destressing - ignore everyone.

You know being pregnant does give you license to tell people to piss off. You can always blame it on tiredness or hormones or something. The other one I like is 'goodness, did you mean to be so rude/intrusive/personal/thoughtless?' (Delete as needed). Everyone had an opinion on pregnancy, but you know what they say about opinions and arseholes.....

No 9, how awkward, haha. When I said 9 and 10 weren't bollocks I meant 8 and 10 😊 they are still unhelpful!

I've never been good with 'rule following'. My school reports always said "paperchains seems to have a problem with authority". But actually, I wouldn't mind a midwife explaining things to me including the reasons Why, but people telling me I can't eat scallops when I know I can, sends me off the deep end.

I was actually a bit rude to the 'nuts' woman at work today. And it was her first day, eek.

Hate to tell you this, but it gets worse when the baby comes and everyone and their Mum will tell you what to do, especially when they are crying.

I have a non sleeping three month old who just wants to be held. If anyone else tells me to try white noise I may scream!

Think of this as good practice - smile, nod and then ignore.

Once the baby arrives the “helpful” advice comes in spades....!

Smile and nod. And think of swear words for them in your head

OP it is annoying. I've just found out I'm pregnant again and reading your list has flooded back the memories of all the irritating things people said to me when I was pregnant with DD.

What you don't yet know, if this is your first baby, is that this annoying nonsense is nothing compared to the annoying opinions and comments you're going to receive when baby arrives. Everyone and his wife will have a view on everything you do. How you birth, how you feed, if you co-sleep, how you dress baby, if you babywear, how quickly you recover, whether you decide to return to work or not, when you wean, how you wean, when you put baby in its own room......it goes on!

So, my advice to you is to treat the irritating pregnancy comments as practice for dealing with opinionated idiots who pop up when baby is here! Because they will. Oh, and as with pregnancy, when baby comes do whatever works for you (within safety guidelines of course yada yada) not what others think is best.

Cross posted with @Rockandrollwithit and @Taffeta. I see we are of the same view ladies

I'm also massively annoyed by people giving unsolicited advice. They mean well but it's driving me crazy!

My mum bought some spiced peanuts for Christmas and her friend (whose daughter had a baby last year) said I couldn't eat them. My mum told me and I said no, you're allowed to eat peanuts. So my mum told her friend she was wrong, and her friend told her daughter, who messaged me on Facebook to tell me I'm definitely not allowed to eat peanuts. This has happened about a dozen times and I really don't want this woman's (often incorrect) advice, or her repeated suggestions for what to buy (we don't share the same taste and in most cases I've already bought something different). They mean well but their constant interference is doing my head in!

I am with you! Dh is fab but he's scared of me doing anything! We're having some plastering done in the house ad he's worried about the fumes (there are no fumes!), I've bought some new shoes and want to put the shoe protector on but he's worried about me doing that, picking anything up at all that's remotely heavy, having a bath! Struggling to eat and now he's asking how much fruit and veg I've had today, it's just a miracle I'm eating!!

The Emily Oster book “expecting better” is great for having some actual stats —for when you tell someone to fuck off with their informed advice— as she looked at the figures and evidence and why something might be a risk and if so how much. But you don’t need the book for some of those, some are just balls.

Urgh ill-informed advice. Bloody autocorrect.

Seriously though, people are really knobby about giving you advice while pregnant, I’m expecting DC2 and patience is wearing thin.

Totally with you all - it's from people talking BS which is so much worse. I can't stop myself getting on the NHS website and saying 'seeeeee!'

Somehow I managed to convince myself It would end soon but you're all totally right, aren't you. Must practice my silent smile and nodding...

Yes, practice your silent smile and also saying 'that's interesting, but this works for us thanks'.

Repeat repeat repeat!