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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Can anything make the big push easier?

42 replies

1stX · 01/01/2018 20:01

31 weeks now and starting to think/ panic about the big day. At my last scan I was told ‘he’s a big boy!’ DP was 10lbs and keeps making jokes about broad shoulders 😡

I’ve heard people talking about raspberry leaf tea and perennial massage oils.
Has anyone tried them? Do they work and what brands do you recommend? X

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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GummyGoddess · 01/01/2018 20:07

I didn't tear because when baby's head is crowning (and stings) I tried not to push as long as possible to give the skin time to relax around their head, it worked! Shoulders were nothing to me, didn't feel a thing when they came out.

Also bear in mind that fat squishes, so just because baby is all chubby, doesn't always mean that labour will be harder for you.

I did have the raspberry leaf tea capsules as I don't drink tea but cannot remember what brand they were. I think I just looked to see what it was about the tea that helped and then found capsules with a high concentration of whatever it was.

YouCantArgueWithStupid · 01/01/2018 20:12

I drank raspberry leaf tea from 30 weeks and DD was out in 2 pushes, no tearing etc? 🤷🏻‍♀️

sammy891 · 01/01/2018 20:14

Oh this is a helpful topic! I'm interested too, any particular brands of tea?

AdalindSchade · 01/01/2018 20:14

Nope. Hypnobirthing or similar may help you get in a good frame of mind but nothing will male pushing the baby out easier. Perineal massage helps to prevent tearing.

I'm not convinced a 10lb baby is any harder to birth than a 5lb baby. The cervix dilates regardless and it's not like a 5lb baby is a small thing to push out of the vagina!

Potteryprincess30 · 01/01/2018 20:22

Olive oil the month before {on the undercarriage obvs} every night and no tearing last time so i'll be doing the same this time round. I also had Pethadine after around 10 hours of labour and got some rest in before the big push, think frankly this helped the most with my focus and being more relaxed

Also 31 weeks @1stX when are you due?

Potteryprincess30 · 01/01/2018 20:26

The baby having broad shoulders is meaningless and silly, don't let that get to you at all. I'm pretty sure all babies heads are the broadest/largest part to squeeze out. Newborns barley have shoulders, the rest of them other then the head is just squidge

peachypips · 01/01/2018 20:41

Before I had my first someone said to me that I didn’t need to worry about the pushing out part- it was the pain of the contractions that was the worst! For me this was true both times- the pushing and birthing part were a relief!

SpoonfulOfJam · 01/01/2018 21:02

Water birth. Or at least labouring in the bath. I'm sure my midwife told me they wet skin has a bit more elasticity. Plus, it's amazing for pain relief.

Pushing was definitely hard work, and a very odd feeling, but not painful.

Tubbyinthehottub · 01/01/2018 21:15

Yes, try the water. Don't know if this is the norm but I felt like I didn't "push", my body just sort of did that for me.

Cheekylittlenumber · 01/01/2018 21:21

I did the perinium massage both times and had a minor tear first time and none second.

Think it was made by weleda and I got it from boots

DrSeuss · 01/01/2018 21:23

Perineal massage worked twice over for me.

Dontbuymeroses · 01/01/2018 21:31

Giving birth upright was better for me. Before my best/most relaxed birth I'd also read Ina May Gaskin and I'm sure a lot of her advice helped. DS was over 9lb and I didn't need stitches (although he wasn't my first large baby).

Original poster

1stX · 01/01/2018 21:31

DP is Just trying to wind me up about the broad shoulders. I’ve told him that if his baby ruins my lady parts he’s never touching them again😂

I think I’ll try the massage, though it seems to be pot luck in my head I think I’ll feel better trying something.

I didn’t know you could get capsules for the raspberry leaf. Not much of a tea drinker so I might look into that.

Thanks for the advice ladies. I’m due on March 6th potteryprincess30. It’s getting close now!

OP posts:

Prusik · 01/01/2018 21:34

I didn't really push either. My body just kind of evacuated Ds - although it did take a while. I only tore because he came out head first and then shot his hand out somehow. Loved the water birth but have nothing to compare it to

Sierra259 · 01/01/2018 21:39

I was much more active during my second labour - went for walks/out for lunch etc. I really believe that made a big difference to how much easier the birth was than wifh DC1

PurplePotatoes · 01/01/2018 21:42

I took the raspberry leaf capsules with DS and had a very quick Labour, was 10cm before I even got to hospital, 2 pushes and he was out..

CL1982 · 01/01/2018 21:42

Ooooo.... following. Sooooo...

Red raspberry leaf tea is meant to be a great uterine toner so totally get going from week 32 and build it from a cup or two a day to 6 cups a day towards the end....or take supplements and drink tea on top. Also there is good evidence that 6 dates (good ones not cheap ones covered in glucose) a day from 4 weeks before you're due helps limit testing and assisted birth.

Perennial massage also good.

I am doing all of these OP so here's hoping it works!!!!!!!

Tiredmum100 · 01/01/2018 21:43

I took raspberry leaf tablets toward the end. To be honest not sure how much evidence there is in relation to how effective they actually are. Is this your first? Try not to worry. I've had a small ish baby (6 lbs ) and one just short of 10 lb. The smaller one I ended up having forceps etc, the bigger baby came out without a tear. Just as someone else said stinging as the head came out, the rest of the body was no problem. Problem with birth stories is everyone wants to tell you how bad it is. Some people have traumatic births, some straight forward. My only advice would be to do what YOU want. Try and relax and know you will get through it. I was so tense the first time round due to how labour is portrayed in the media, (eg screaming women) everyone's awful stories etc I think it made it much worse as I believed it was going to be horrendous. The second time around I was much more relaxed and knew I could do it and it wouldn't last forever. Don't get me wrong it's hard work and not pain free but you will do it. Best of luck to you.

FellOutOfBed2wice · 01/01/2018 21:45

Perineal massage worked for me too both times. Did it from 35 weeks with plain old olive oil.

SomehowSomewhere1 · 01/01/2018 21:47

Hi,
32 wks here and starting to think I need to crank up the pelvic floor muscle exercises and get out the birthing ball to build up those muscles, for recovery as much as pushing. Forgot about the massage down below, on my list now. What’s raspberry tea for? And ditto capsals.

Notso · 01/01/2018 21:48

Perineal massage definitely not just misturising but plenty of stretching the skin if you can reach.
I tried the evening primrose capsules on a tampon with DC3 and 4 and had very quick labours although how much of that was due to the EPO and how much was due to them being third and fourth labours.
Certainly panting not pushing when the head is crowning. I think positioning helps too, with my first I was n my back being monitored and was told when to push and while I felt the contractions I had to push, with the others pushing was something my body was doing. With DC4 I was trying not to have him as I was at home waiting for an ambulance, it didn't work!

DeltaG · 01/01/2018 21:48

Sorry OP, I bought an Epi-No device and did perineal massage religiously from 7 months. Suffered a 3rd degree tear and DS was not big. It’s the luck of the draw!

Halfdrankbrew · 01/01/2018 21:48

First birth I didn't push as hard as I could, I was letting my body sort of do its thing. I remember my friend saying she pushed as hard as she could even though she kind of knew she shouldn't, her baby arrived after 3 pushes and a 3rd degree tear. I had this at the back of my mind when told to push and was thinking about my poor vagina. I held back but after a while they came to talk to me about an instrumental birth, at this point I pushed as hard as I could and our daughter was born shortly after, she was face up too so I'd given birth to her back to back. I'm glad I held back pushing as I had no tears, I'm convinced it was me holding back that saved my undercarriage.

Second baby, labour was agony and I'd been feeling the urge to push for a while but didn't say anything. I think in my head I knew how much it'd hurt so was waiting for them to tell me to do it. Again I controlled my pushing, and didn't just go for it. The midwife was very experienced too and said to me to stop pushing for a bit. This allowed things to stretch I guess. My second was quite a big baby, but again I didn't have any tears. I think the midwife was surprised I hadn't, she checked for ages but all was fine. Still amazes me when I look at pics just after he was born, the size of him and I got away without so much as a graze!

With my first I tried the massage thing but found it too uncomfortable, got my husband to do it as I couldn't reach. Did it once literally.

So for me it's either I birthed them in a controlled manor or I have a huge skip vagina. I like to think it's the controlled birthing .

SeaToSki · 01/01/2018 21:55

Pushing a baby out is a lot like doing a big poo. Every time you go to the bathroom to poop, think about the muscles you are using. When you are pushing to deliver your baby you maybe able to visualise and activate the muscles better if you can think back to those moments on the toilet as a reference.

Sorry it isnt very romantic advice!

pastabest · 01/01/2018 22:00

Just listen to the midwives who will tell you when to push to try and reduce tearing.

I agree with the PP who said the pushing but isn't too bad, it's the contractions beforehand that are the tough bit

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