Opinions please...am I being unreasonable?!

[Teddy1985]

I’m 33 weeks today....it’s NYE, my husbands friend came over two days ago to stay. My husband offered him our bedroom and we are on a sofa bed...it is what we would have done if I wasn’t pregnant but I’m in constant pain with my back etc and could t believe he suggested it.

Every day I asked how long is he staying for and my husband responds with I don’t know... the first night they went out (I didn’t have an issue) naively I thought my husband would have a few drinks but would be sensible ish as I am absolutely exhausted, terrible back pain, having very little sleep, we have four cats that need feeding at 7:30am etc. I didn’t mind what time they arrived back but didn’t expect to deal with a paraletic drunk husband who was sick in the kitchen sink and left me to clean it up etc at 2:45am. I then was up at 7am with the cats meowing wanting to be fed and he was obviously snoring and extremely hungover when they finally got up at 11am expecting me to run around making coffees etc.

It’s now NYE and his friend is still here. About a month ago my husband said his friend suggested we head into London and go out there on NYE.... I explained then that as much as I would LOVE to do that, I’m not in a fit state to and would love for us to spend it together as it’s our last one before our baby arrives. I really hoped we could relax and try and be with each other as it has been very stressful this last few months. I explained this then and clearly was absolutely ignored.

We only moved back to the UK after 5 years working abroad a month ago so I do understand my husband wants to see his friend etc but I spent the first few weeeks in the run up to Christmas organising so much, meeting my consultant etc furnishing our home and thought Christmas would be spent relaxing.

I lliterally feel so upset, exhausted, anxious about our little one coming, low in confidence and really hoped my husband would have had a bit more respect and thought about me.

My husbands friend only decided to head to bed at 12:30am last night I was exhausted. I finally put the sofa bed together but was so uncomfortable I had very little sleep, back is killing so been up since about 4:45/5am.

Please give me some pointers advice...feeling extremely low and do not know how I will get through today x

I'm 33 weeks and I would kill anyone who tries to take my bed from me! I'm sure your DH doesn't mean to be so unthoughtful. I've had a few ridiculous suggestions from people because at the end of the day unless you are actually pregnant it's very hard to understand how much it hurts and how tiring it is!

Kick friend out of your room and let DH go to London it he wants but make sure he understands it's in exchange for some time together as a couple over the next few weeks.

Oh my lord, YANBU! That's awful, what is wrong with the both of them?! Make sure you get your bed back! :(

What kind of a man even accepts a heavily pregnant wonan’s bed??? Agree with previous poster who said you need to be much more assertive in standing up to this dickheaded behaviour. Please tell us you’ve got your own bed back with clean sheets not made or washed by you.

I don’t think my advice would be useful. It starts with a cattle prod and finishes with you having the house to yourself and your husband and friend needing a rubber ring each to sit on for a month.

Unsure if I’m more shocked that your OH gave away your bed at 33 weeks pregnant or that a man accepted the bed of a 33 week pregnant lady

And just tell him you need your bed and privacy back. Be firm!

Haha! April fool, surely. There cannot be a perfect combination of a to-be dad, who should be proper scared aware of his wife's sleep needs, a guest who kicks the heavily pregnant wife out of the bed, and the op herself who ought to be straight up tiger about the bed?

I can't believe what I am reading.

I am nearly 16 weeks and there is no way on this planet that my OH would expect me or allow me to sleep on the sofa bed so that a healthy adult male could sleep in our bed. He has offered in the past to let me have the bed to myself so that I can sleep better as I have been uncomfy and suffering insomnia. Tbh, even if he did suggest to me anything about me sleeping anywhere other than my bed, I'd soon put him right. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps your DH and his friend should share the sofa bed while you recover in the bed alone?

Also, about the sick. You should have just left it. He was not ill, he was drunk and should have cleared it up when he got up. I do not clear up pee, sick, poo or anything else like that from an adult unless they are sick/poorly.

How did you get on, did he ended up leaving? Hope you managed to get your bed back!

@Teddy1985 Totally unacceptable. Do hope you got your bed back. Make OH read this thread please. This is mad.

OP please come back and tell us you got your bed back. I’m fuming for you (but seriously, stand up for yourself and your baby).

Oh I would be furious with your husband!! What a drop kick!

Yanbu of course you need a decent bed at 33 weeks a sofa bed is ridiculous.

Go and check yourself into a hotel right now (if you can find one that can give you a room with early check-in) and let dh know that you will be back when you hear from him that your bedroom and bed are your own again.

Jen41

So? Did you get your bed back? After how many days?Did your OH understand how serious this was? (Sorry to ask again it's just that I'm 35 wks pregnant, I can't sleep even though I have a very comfortable bed, and your story somehow just really shocked me). I was just thinking about it now...

This thread has really shocked me!

Unbelievable! I'm more shocked at the man who accepted a heavily pregnant woman's bed! Boot him out!