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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Feeling on a bit of low ebb

8 replies

User45632874 · 29/12/2017 20:39

I'm 27+3 and feeling a bit on a low ebb after the run up to Christmas and lovely Christmas period (although I did get a bit stressed on Christmas day) I have two dcs - younger dc (4) is high energy/fearless and I have to confess that I am struggling to manage her on my own. I am not depressed just as the title says feeling at a low ebb.
DH has been off over Christmas and returns to work on Tuesday and I think that could be a contributing factor because he has been a fantastic support over the hols and we have been able to go out a bit more etc and everything is so much easier with him around whereas usually I have to muddle on with the school run etc.
It feels as if I have been pregnant a long time now, having previously experienced a late miscarriage a few years ago. This will be my last pregnancy. I still have a funny taste in my mouth etc. and although not as nauseous now, I have been struggling with other (somewhat) minor aches and pains but it is probably the psychological thing (winding myself up before each scan, fearing the worse etc.) that has been the most difficult to cope with. I am getting bigger now and finding it a bit cumbersome to get around, I just want to get my body back to (nearly) normal and dislike the feeling of being conspicuous.
Probably the time of year is not helping either and the fact I am just meanwhile, wishing away the weeks. Latest attack of facebook pictures have appeared of people (older) travelling to far flung places or others going skiing (I don't like skiing) etc. whereas I feel I am wearing the same clothes, eating the same foods and generally struggling to get through. I feel guilty for moaning, I know I am very blessed (especially because I was told I was unlikely to have any more children) but still, I suppose moaning is my way of getting through (I have very few people to moan to in RL apart from dh who must be getting sick of my moaning by now!) Hey Ho, getting through the days! Anyone else feeling like this?

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CL1982 · 29/12/2017 23:14

I didn't want to read and run but I'm sorry you're struggling OP. It sounds like you have a touch of the blues-please never be ashamed of it. I think it is totally normal. Also don't believe Facebook or Instagram. People put the very best of their life on there and it's rarely as golden as they make out. Often people have their own demons or issues we don't see through the gloss or the brand.

Have you tried MUSH? It's a fab app for getting to know other mums your age in your area? Might help to have some people to talk to, even if it's just chatting over a tea :)

User45632874 · 30/12/2017 11:51

Thanks CL1982, I will look at the MUSH app, must confess, I have never heard of it before but well worth a look. I dislike the fact that I can't do things; I am breathless - I have been checked for anaemia etc. and had this during my other pregnancies I think and because of my late miscarriage (22 weeks) I am super cautious. Just fed up of all the anxiety that goes along with it, whilst trying to function normally for my other dc's, I think it has sparked health anxiety (which I struggle with when I am stressed). All of these extra scans are lovely but they are also anxiety provoking if one measurement or another is not spot on. I am an older mum (will be just shy of 44 when I give birth) and I feel more conspicuous this time with my pregnancy; it is more to do with me, I know but I feel judged whereas I think I would feel less so, with an actual baby plus schlepping around with my other two dcs; I have struggled with infertility and really know how it feels to want children, so I am aware of this too. I am not depressed as such (though would choose not to take medication if I were until after birth) - I have experienced pnd too so preparing to take medication again at some point. I am also dreading the birth, despite already having given birth three times and coming out of it relatively (episiotomy, lengthy first birth etc,) unscathed. The thing is it is only you going through it when it happens and it is all the unpredictability of it. Roll on April (due in March) when hopefully it will be all over x

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User45632874 · 30/12/2017 19:01

I think, I am just fed up with the whole pregnancy thing now...maybe that is what happens to some ladies after being pregnant two or three times already (although I realise we should never take if for granted - I for one have had fertility issues in the past.)

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LittleWingSoul · 30/12/2017 19:11

I felt like you up until the middle of the pregnancy OP, I was depressed and benefitted from counselling and medication. I am in a much more positive state of mind now at 38+4 weeks and although I am uncomfortable and cumbersome and not sleeping well at all, I know it will be over soon. Trying to enjoy the last time we'll have as a family of 4, gearing myself up for post-partum body repair and knowing it's the last time I'll have to do this (god willing).

You are in the final stretch now, don't beat yourself about how you are feeling - it is definitely not unusual to reach a low ebb during pregnancy, it is an enormous physical and mental toil!

User45632874 · 30/12/2017 20:02

Hi LittleWing
Yes, looking forward to being where you are now if that makes sense, you know the end is nigh so to speak, I have not yet got to that point where I am thinking, not long now, not long now and just feeling daunted at another couple of months of this at least...I don't think I could face another pregnancy whichever way this goes (my age has a lot to do with this), so yes, knowing that this is the last of it all does feel like a relief - though I always seems to forget just how hard it is when I am not pregnant and see another pregnant lady, then feel all wistful but hopefully, I am cured of that now once and for all now!
Yes, I already feel uncomfortable and I am not sleeping well, sleeping on my side (despite folding a duvet underneath me) is causing me a few hip problems I think - I am always more comfortable on my back or front. It is lovely that some women glide through pregnancy and I think it is much easier being pregnant without dc's to care for i.e first time pregnancy - I was also far more naïve first time around so although it was very much about the unknown, I didn't have the psychological factors that I am facing now and carried on working pretty much as normal. Even now, I am sat here worrying about the babies movements; I've just had enough of this now!

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LittleWingSoul · 30/12/2017 21:04

Oh I really feel for you! Your sound properly down on the dumps! Do you DC go back to school/nursery next week? Perhaps a bit of normality will help, when Xmas is over. The days are getting lighter... You'll have a spring time baby which will be really lovely.

After what you've been through as well I imagine the anxiety is much worse than usual. I don't blame you for feeling how you feel. And yes you're right, having to care for other DC is wearing. I struggle with that too. 3 year old and ADHD 9 year old. Have you got anyone around who can take them off your hands for a day? My sister took them both out yesterday and tbh we all needed some time out from each other. It worked.

LittleWingSoul · 30/12/2017 21:08

Oh and FWIW I've never glided through pregnancy! All three have been horrible. But I've still done it to myself. And I have a feeling I will look back on this with fond memories and look at pregnant ladies wistfully. It's easy to forget. I think I've forgotten what contractions and csec recovery feel like but I'll be going through one or the other soon...

User45632874 · 31/12/2017 16:48

Good Luck LittleWing...not long to go now and wishing you all the best x Dh has been off over the second week of Christmas and this has helped enormously but no. no other extended family unfortunately to help out. Our children our similar ages (mine have just turned 4 and 11). The 11 year old is not really a problem and can be helpful at times but the 4 year old is super active and I daren't take her out anywhere on my own at the moment. Pre-school every morning is a godsend because they tend to wear her out then send her home to me and she is happy to have quiet afternoons then, its all swings and roundabouts though because at least this week I have been able to have lie ins...Grrrr, another wakeful night last night!

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