Hello,
I am 23 weeks pregnant and feeling really down about the way I am being treated at work recently. I work in a male dominated office and in general I get on with my colleagues very well. We have a good laugh and work well as a team most of the time.
Like most pregnant women, I'm struggling to get a good sleep most nights. I get bad heart burn and headaches, can't get comfy, etc. I don't complain about this at work but sometimes I am coming in after a night of no sleep looking absolutely awful. My male colleagues pick up on this and tell me how tired I look (out of genuine concern). I explain I had a bad sleep again.
Sometimes I am so tired I just can't face joining in on their conversations. This isn't out of rudeness, I just can't concentrate! I feel so tired I'm almost nodding off at my desk. On days like this I just focus on getting my work done, because I really don't feel up to talking as much as normal.
The guys have started to notice this and on days when I am quiet they refer to me as "the hormonal pregnant woman". They say things like "watch it, she's hormonal today". This is simply because I am quiet! Obviously I don't laugh at these "jokes" because I find them offensive, but then because I am clearly annoyed, they feel justified in their belief that I'm being "hormonal".
I might be being over sensitive, but in conjunction with something that happened last week (another male colleague joking that women should be in the kitchen, ironing and cleaning, as though I wasn't in the room) it's really getting me down.
My boss is male and he laughs along with the others, so I can hardly approach him and tell him how I'm feeling. These same men used to ask me if it was my time of the month if I was cross about something at work.
I'd also like to point out that one of the main culprits is massively mood-swingy. One min he is fine, the next min he is annoyed about something. No one gives him any shit for this.
I've challenged them about what they are doing and they have apologised for it, but another week passes and they do it again. They say they are only joking. I have a good laugh with them in general and I'm quite thick skinned when it comes to jokes, but they know that I hate outright sexist comments. They've justified it in the past by saying they do it cause they like me, we are friends so it's funny. They said if they didn't like me they wouldn't do it! The fact is, we aren't friends. Friends wouldn't do this to me. I think that's what has upset me the most, is the realisation that we aren't friends at all and I can't rely on these people the way I thought I could. I used to feel part of the team but now I feel very pushed out.
I just needed to rant about this somewhere because it's really getting me down. I've just started a 4 day break from work over Xmas and all I can think about is this crap as I wrap Xmas presents!!