Back to work after baby loss and pregnant

[user1485778793]

I stopped work at 22 weeks with last pregnancy due to a terminal diagnosis and I fell to pieces. And was signed off. To cut a long storey short baby was born in June, had a lot of surgery, stayed in icu/hdu and sadly died at 2 1/2 months old.

I'm now pregnant again and cannot afford 2 maternity leaves so close together.

I'm going into work in January to discuss going back probably feb/march

Aibu to be a little pissed off that not one colleague bothered to contact me at all. They contacted me a week after the funeral to ask when I was coming back. That's it.

I wonder how they are going to act around me now? And do feel a little pissed off that they haven't even asked how we are. All of dh's team and managers came to our babies funeral and mine didn't say a thing

Didn't want to read and run but also no advice. Hugs for you & congratulations on your new pregnancy. Hopefully they'll be understanding once you speak to them and maybe haven't been in touch because they simply don't know what to say x

I'm so sorry for your loss congratulations on your pregnancy.

At such a personal time as a work colleague I wouldn't want to intrude and would give you as much space as possible. You wouldn't want to be thinking about work at a time like that.

Also part of me wouldn't know what to say. I certainly wouldn't think I'd be expected to go to a funeral, I think that is such a hugely personal thing and it's not somewhere I would expect my work colleagues to be.

Could you consider a phased return to work to ease you back in?

The best of luck with your new pregnancy and your return to work.

Thankyou

I'm only going in to discuss it. My mat leave doesn't end until June.

Tbh I don't really want to go back, it's purely financial

I'm so sorry for everything you went through with your baby OP. I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through and I imagine your colleagues feel the same.
I went through nothing like you did - had the poorly baby and 12 weeks in NICU and even that people struggled with. I think its just emotional ineptitude from those who have no idea what you have gone through and survived.

Huge huge congratulations on your pregnancy. I doubt blame you for being hurt and angry and I expect people will largely not mention for your child unless you do because they simply don't have the language. However that should never stop you talking about them - people will largely follow your lead in time x

I'm so sorry for your loss. Do your work offer an enhanced maternity package or just statutory?

Your mat pay is likely to be calculated based on your income between weeks 17 and 25 of pregnancy. It may be worth returning to work for this period, if you are up to it.

I spoke to union and they said as long as I do 8 weeks I will get occupational maternity pay. I need a few months wage really.

I just have no idea how I'm going to act around colleagues now. They all know, it was announced in a meeting

My work just have standard maternity rules, nothing advanced. Although I may ask to be moved departments for safety. I had to use 2 chemicals in early pregnancy last time, one had a disclaimer stating 'may cause birth defects so I want to be well away from that

Not sure what field you work in but your company has to make reasonable aadjustments and yours and your baby's safety should be top priority for them