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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Taking 2.5 DD to 20 week scan

39 replies

mrssmith1415 · 21/12/2017 04:41

my 20 week scan is today. My mum was originally going to watch our dd but tonight she has been sick 3 times (the latest one was due to drinking too much water) so now I’m really stuck on what to do! Ideally best solution for us would be if we could take her with us as the scan falls in her nap time but the hospital has a no child policy and if she’s been sick I don’t want to be taking bugs into the hospital. I’m really torn on what to do. At all our previous appointments there’s always been children in the waiting room but I don’t think they go in with their mums. In theory DH could wait outside with her but this is his baby too. And then there’s the factor of what if there’s complications? Really not sure what to do.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Prusik · 21/12/2017 07:40

Youre not a shit mum, op. You just wanted your husband there to support you for your 20 week scan which is completely understandable. Unfortunately pregnant women have less immunity to bugs so there isn't a way around taking your daughter. Your mum is a star, don't feel.guilty. just bring a bunch of.flowers or.box of mince pies for her on the way back.from.your.scan. good luck

MaggieFS · 21/12/2017 07:44

For goodness sake OP, only three people said selfish. Lots of people gave lots of good ideas. Having read it again, it looks like your mum had made other plans anyway even before DC was sick, so what were you planning to do anyway? Scans are no places for DC, ill or not, and good for you for being considerate, not everyone one is, but please don't get huffy if you don't like the replies.

superduperdo · 21/12/2017 08:07

Not wishing to scare you in the slightest, but my 20 week scan showed that my second baby had died at around 18 weeks. I had no idea until the scan started, and I had DS1 with me. It was horrendous, he was 20 months so luckily too young to understand, but I went to pieces and he was there for all of it, clearly frightened, and made a shit situation a lot worse. I would never take a child to a scan again.

harrietm87 · 21/12/2017 08:28

TBH I said it would be a selfish thing to do, and I think it would be, as you would be putting yourself (your understandable desire to have your DH there) above the needs of others (your daughter, who would be better off at home, and all the people in the hospital who could catch her bug).

I think you know that's right, as you asked the question in the first place, unless you just wanted everyone to tell you to go right ahead?

It's great that you've got an alternative sorted now - good luck!

ohlittlepea · 21/12/2017 08:36

It wasnt labelling you as selfish in general just the possible action...which really would have been. Hope all goes well and very pleased that your Mum is able to go with you.

Coconutspongexo · 21/12/2017 09:25

I said it would be selfish not that you’re selfish..

tryso84 · 21/12/2017 09:33

Awwh OP how frustrating. I had very tough pregnancies and outcomes. I had so many appointments and scans to check on baby - towards the end I.e 32-35 weeks I was being scanned every week as I had a high risk of still birth.

Sadly it wasn’t practical to take my 2 year old or my DH to all the scans. Even the 20 week scan I had to do on my own.

Everything is and was ok. I think you’ll have to go on your own as your little one is a risk to other mums in the waiting room.

Good luck. It’ll all be fine. Maybe you could always book a private scan later to take DD and your DH?

CrmbleBee · 21/12/2017 09:51

OP, don't worry about it. I'm glad your mum can take her. To be fair to you, norovirus etc and stomach bugs don't magically transmit to others anyway- it's by faecal-oral transmission (poor hygiene, i.e. not washing hands after toilet, then touching something which is then touched by someone else who doesn't wash their hands before eating). If you use the hand-gel stuff on her she shouldn't give it to anyone, unless she actually vomits and the airbourne spray from that goes everywhere. Lots of people seem to think it spreads from breathing the same air, which isn't true.

Also, if vomiting bugs were so dangerous in pregnancy, they'd ban me from working at the school I teach at immediately after telling them I'm pregnant. I still have to clean up the vomit in the event a pupil is sick! At the risk of being shouted at, I do think some people were a bit unkind to you on this thread.

ohlittlepea · 21/12/2017 11:09

Reported. Factually innacurate advice. There is a reason we have guidance about not attending hospitals with active D and V. You dont know if your radiographer or the woman next to you, or the patient who uses the tap or door handle after you is immunocomprimised/receiving chemotherapy/ otherwise unwell and unable to fight a D and V bug.

If only hand gel were that effective.

Not shouting at you just making it clear that anyone who attends hospital woth d n v who doesnt otherwise absolutely need to be there is putting very vulnerable people at risk.

CouldntCatchACold · 21/12/2017 16:22

Wow CrmblBee i think that's the stupidest, misinformed thing I have read all day

harrietm87 · 21/12/2017 18:26

@CrmbleBee has it entered your head that there may be pregnant women who are more vulnerable than you, and who might actually be told not to work if they were surrounded by germs as you apparently are? Not to mention others in the hospital.

Psychobabble123 · 21/12/2017 19:50

crumb, anti-bac gel is absolutely useless against antivirus, as its you know, a virus.... clue is in the name

Original poster

mrssmith1415 · 22/12/2017 04:13

Just so people are aware, it wasn’t a bug just like I expected. Obviously I wouldn’t dream of taking her into a hospital if it was an active sickness bug which I think everybody by time their child is nearly 3 they start to learn the difference between. Sometimes children are randomly sick then get over it which I believe was the case here. I was just panicking because it was so close to the scan. It wasn’t d & v it was waking up twice to be sick. She had no other symptoms and this was a bit of a panic post in the middle of the night that I probably should’ve put more thought into.
My mum ended up letting me down again for childcare, it’s a complicated situation at the moment and I am going through a bit of a crisis with my relationship with her which is incredibly difficult at the moment and probably the reason for the irrational emotion behind my response. I felt embarrassed and ashamed and then even more upset to take a post on a message board so much to heart as I’m usually very matter of fact and no nonsense.
My DHs sister stepped in at the very last minute luckily to look after DD so he was there to hear that we are having a healthy DS which he was over the moon at.
In response to the poster who said about it not always being airborne, thank you. I’ve been a hca on hospital wards and never caught sickness bugs from patients due to good hand hygiene much like my colleagues. But at the time of this post felt too ashamed to argue that point. Yes some bugs are still airborne and yes some people have reduced immune systems but for the average person it can be avoided for some bugs and not every instance of sickness is the norovirus.

OP posts:

yikesanotherbooboo · 22/12/2017 06:21

Lovely news, congratulations

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