When to tell older children?

[Hulaballoo]

I have a 7 & 10 year old and I'm not sure when to tell them in case anything happens... 12w scan this week ... Should I wait until after 20 week? Any suggestions?

We told our 10 year old at 17weeks, would have waited longer to be honest!

Congratulations Hulaballoo.

We told our 8 years old DD the day we had our 12 weeks scan, it couldn't be hidden any longer to be honest and she was already wondering why my tummy was growing. We waited as long as possible as we have had plenty of unsuccessful pregnancies so we didn't want to worry her even though she doesn't know anything about past failures.

If it is possible I would wait a bit. Even though DD understands about time, she is finding it difficult to wait and keeps saying that she would like the baby to be born now . She has been asking for a sister or brother for many years .

At the end is up to you when you want to tell your children but I believe that the chances of something going wrong after 12 weeks are small. Anything can happen but if you are healthy and look after yourself you should be ok.

We told my 6yo after the 12 week scan, we wanted him to be the 1st to know and he’s really enjoyed telling other family members and friends! I did regret it a bit at first as he was so excited and didn’t stop going on for a week or so but has calmed down now.

We told our 4 year old just after our 12 week scan. I had a mc just before this pregnancy so it was really healing for me to be able to talk with her about this one. I felt she was mature enough to understand if anything happened but I was confident and trusted my instinct that all was fine.

I told mine (11 and 6) as soon as I started getting symptoms, because I wanted them to know mummy wasn’t going crazy or randomly ill for weeks I was just making a baby and it was totally normal. I also wanted them to know why I couldn’t join in with some activities I used to do (like Inflata Nation etc) I also told them that sometimes pregnancies aren’t successful and it’s very sad but it happens etc. They also attended my early scan and every scan since. I wanted them to be part of the process. I was carrying twins until about 10 weeks so they learned a sad lesson a long the way but it’s made them appreciate the life I’m still carrying even more I think, it’s made them more mindful and understanding that it can be a fragile time... but a happy one non the less!
I understand why people would want to wait but I don’t see a point of sheltering them from possible bad outcomes will help much in the long run, but I suppose it depends on the child!

I told my 6 year old after the 12 week scan

I would only tell when he bump became obvious or if I was sick and they might be worried.

It's a very long time to wait for a new baby if you tell them at 12 weeks.

I told my then 7 year old the day I found out. She was fairly mature for her age, we were altering plans (family wedding on another continent that we could no longer go to due to timing) and ultimately if there was a problem she had a right to know why I and DH were upset. A close friend whom she saw daily had a stillbirth at term the year before so she was more than aware that not all pregnancies end well.
Also at age 4 she found a book on how babies are made and showed it to me and DH so that we could provide her with a sibling, and I wanted her to know we had been paying attention . . .
She was fine but I would imagine it depends on the child.

We told my nearly 3 year old just after the 12 week scan. If defo wasn't planned that way however the day before my scan he said "Is there a baby in your tummy"..

I'm adamant the MIl had something to do that that.

Thank you all! I think Im just worried that if something happened if they'd cope emotionally... Theyre both emotional and so keen to have a little a sibling and would be heartbroken if anything happened. It's a tough one. Starting to show a bit so I'm not sure I can keep it in much longer. X

We had to tell our then 6 year old when I was 5 weeks pg - I was so sick he confided to his teacher that he was worried I was going to die ☹️ She thankfully told us, and we felt we had no choice but to be honest, esp seeing as I was hospitalised by 6 weeks...
With our next pregnancy we told him early again for the same reason, but we ended up losing the baby at 8 weeks. He was really upset, but he did cope with it. If you can get away without them knowing then I would leave it as long as you can... Congratulations too by the way!

I am 17 weeks pregnant and we told our nearly 3 year old after my 12 week scan. I was planning to tell her later but husband wanted to tell her as she is so keen for a baby sister and she totally understands what is happening. If things don’t go well we will deal with that and she will be ok. We found out the sex at 14 weeks and also told her that she will be having a brother. It took her a week or so to get her head around that as seemed to only want a sister. Glad we found out he sex as it’s helping guide discussions around how great it will be to have a baby brother etc and painting the picture of what our life will be like with a boy too x congratulations, so whatever you feel is right for your family xx

DD has also enjoyed telling our wiser family that mummy has a baby in her tummy!

I told my 8 year old 2 weeks ago when I was 8 weeks. Only because Iv been sick the whole time every day and she was very worried about me. She’s very happy why I’m sick now but I did explain it’s early and we have to keep it a secret. Next day her teacher comes out to congratulate me lol. I’m 10 weeks now and still sick all the time and Iv had 3 scans and so far so good. If I wasn’t sick and my daughter wasn’t scared I would have waited until we knew the gender at around 15-16 weeks

DD is nearly 3 and we waited till our 24w scan to tell her. We just passed off the bump, sickness etc as "Mummy's tummy is a bit poorly" and she wasn't fazed.

When we told she just said, "yes. I shall have two baby brothers. They will say waaaah..... Can I have some cheese?"

Not sure how much she has taken it in really!

We told DD after 12 week scan; I don’t think I could have gone much longer not talking about it around her to be honest

I'd wait until after the 20 week scan.

All good at it scan so I think we'll be telling them at Christmas... I'll be over 13 weeks... I'm starting to show and my 10 year old will guess soon enough so id rather tell them... Getting them some t shirts to announce it as a present. DH and I talked it over that if anything we'll be there to talk to them and support them... Thank you all for your replies xx

We have a DS who is about to be 5. I don’t want him to be in the dark when our friends know, so I think we’ll tell him soon (i’m 12 weeks). No idea how he will take it- I think mostly a lot of trying to work out how it got in there! Must try to find old copy of the Body Book which was legendary and what my parents gave me about his age.

@Fakingit36 there's a great book called 'mummy laid an egg' by Babette Cole. A real child friendly way of the birds and the bees... Mine still love it but at 4 and 5 it was perfect!