Breastfeeding second after FF first. Talk to me.

[TheEdge266]

So I formula fed my now 3 year old when he was was. Decided from the off that breastfeeding wasn't for me. No real reason that I can think of and strangely never felt guilty about it. I was never pressured into trying breastfeeding but did "try" a little in hospital and didn't bother continuing.

I'm currently 37 weeks, I'm an in patient on hospital with pre-eclempsia and just had a second lot of steroids and will likely have baby this week.
At the beginning of this pregnancy I again had the same feelings as I did with my son but also felt I had a valid reason. I had PND with my son and to be honest the help I was able to get from my husband doing some of the feeds was invaluable. But the closer it comes to having my little girl, I'm starting to feel the urge to want to feed her. So I think I've decided I would like to give it a go bit for some reason, I feel so nervous. I've asked my husband to buy formula ready for when we bring her home but I have a better feeling about trying this time. 🤞

Excuse the typos. It's been a long week.

The first thing I would do is join a support group for breastfeeding on Facebook. UKBAPS are good. There are always people awake in the middle of the night who can advise you and help you with any worries. I find 3 am is when the worst of the worries surface! On here is good too but the advantage of the FB group is that people are asking questions you've probably not thought of and it's easier to see the answers.

Make sure you tell your midwives what you're hoping for in terms of feeding.

Get details for local breastfeeding cafés/support groups.

Look at YouTube videos of biological nurturing/laid back feeding. This is much easier than other positions.

Expect to be feeding a lot. It doesn't mean you haven't got milk. The suckling is how the body produces more milk. It's totally normal.

Look at kellymom website for advice and the breastfeeding network.

Good luck with it and congratulations!

I'm EBF my now 19 weeks old and here is what I've learned so far (personal experience, may not be the same for everyone) -

I love it and feel like I've bonded incredibly well with my daughter. As someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety for half my life I was worried about PND but I'm the happiest I've ever been and I do think some of that is down to how bonded I feel with her due to breastfeeding.

I was only able to leave her alone after 3 months old as she fed every 2 hours. Now down to every 4ish.

Be prepared that your baby may refuse bottles and dummies completely like mine does - she seems to only like boob in her mouth!

Difficult for your partner to help out with feeding unless you pump. Pumping is exhausting and annoying but good for some people. Our arrangement is DP does washing up and hanging clothes (my least fave jobs) as I spend hours a day feeding our child.

The first 2 weeks it hurt like hell then suddenly became really easy. Buy lanolin cream in prep for the sore nipples it's a godsend.

I've become a real advocate for breastfeeding - not because it's 'better' or anything like that but simply because I've had such a great experience so far and I genuinely feel like it's made me happier and closer to my daughter by doing so.

Does your trust have a lactation consultant or specialist feeding midwife? If So, get their name and ask to see them before being discharged. A lot of issued with early breastfeeding is latch and position. When done correctly breastfeeding shouldn't be painful but people seem to think it is.

Never give up on a bad day. It can be tough in the early weeks but it can also be amazingly rewarding and it does get easier when your supply is established.

You will need support at home from your health visiting team so try to find local groups where you can get that support. Whilst I love La Leche league and some of these Facebook groups I've found personally they can be a bit militant and anti FF which is fair enough but not my cup of tea, everyone is entitled to choose how they feed their baby so long as it's an informed choice in my opinion.

Learn how to hand express (you can do this antenatally and collect the colostrum).

Try not to worry about supply. A baby who is responsive fed (fed when it wants as opposed to on a schedule) will manage your supply, some babies will feed for 5 minutes, others and hour, neither length means you have good or bad supply.

Also prepare for cluster feeding after the first few weeks. This is where a baby can feed for hours at a time normally during growth spurts or sickness. It's totally normal, not a sign your supply is dropping but a lot of people top up during this time which will affect supply.

Best of luck. Remember breastfeeding is natural, you can do it. It doesn't need to be hard or complicated. And if you decide you want to switch to formula then that's totally fine, there's nobody who can judge you for what you choose to do.

My son (3 years old) was FF after being a failure to thrive at 5 weeks old.

My daughter (15months) was exclusively breast fed.

Breast feeding once established is amazing! So much easier and have me so much more freedom (not worrying how many bottles to take out etc) - esp with a toddler to run around after as well.

The first few weeks are hard - really hard esp evening cluster feeding but just go with the flow as best you can.

It really helps to have a good support network - Including hubby so speak about these things first.

I was really nervous after 'failing' first time - Hubby want to buy formula but we didn't. I sold the steriliser / bottles etc as it would be harder to give in

The longer you can BF the better so maybe aim for a few days / week and see how you go.

Maybe see if there's a Le Lech League support group local to you?

Or even a breastfeeding cafe?

And yes make sure the medical staff know you wish to breastfeed as they can support you with that.

Wishing you the best of luck for delivery to - I found things much less stressful and came more naturally 2nd time round.

Go for it, don’t be nervous. My first was born at 36 weeks and couldnt latch but at 8 weeks he was breastfeeding (combination so husband fed bottle at night - always given cold so he preferred my warm breast milk) and carried on until 13 months, my second right from the off (did one evening feed with husband too) and I hope to do the same with my third. You will no doubt be able to EBF but if for whatever reason it doesnt work I would say dont give up and at least try combination feeding, could all depend on babies tummy/tolerance etc so whatever you do will be right. Breastfeeding is easier than the faff with bottles and I, anecdotally, think it helps them recover quicker when they pick up bugs