Pregnant and petrified!

[PeapodBurgundy]

Hi all. We just found out this morning that we're expecting baby number 2. It was planned, and as pleased and excited as I am, I'm already overwhelemd with feelings of worry (miscarriage, DS coping, feeding through pregnancy/possibly tandem feeding, giving birth, DS being okay if I have to go into hospital to give birth, DC2 being in hospital and DS being at home so I can't be with both of them, managing with two little ones largely on my own due to DPs work, getting PND again but having a toddleer AND a newborn to manage), and guilt (DS haing to share me, my milk potentially drying up and forcing DS to wean before he's ready, the fact that I'm worrying and not just being pleased about DC2, the fact that DC2 will rarely, if ever get 1:1 time with me like DS did/does).

We've discussed all of the above issues before trying for another, and came to the conclusion that, whatever happens, we'll cope, because we have to. Now I'm actually pregnant, it all seems insurmountable. Birth went horribly last time, I still can't talk about it without tears, so the thought of doing it again is daunting, but I obviously knew this before trying.

I'm honestly excited, and glad to be pregnant again, but I need to get the negative feelings under some kind of control. Not quite sure what I'm posting for. Perhaps looking for somebody to help return some of my sanity?

Congratulations

I'd say give yourself a few days/weeks to gradually adjust before allowing yourself to think about any of less fun those things that need thinking about, there's plenty of time for that (the birth, the breastfeeding etc).

I remember discovering number 2 was coming along and sinking into misery for several days. It felt so bleak and awful, totally pulled the rug from under me. Then I just snapped out it as fast as it had come. There were tricky logistics to work out but nothing insurmountable.

If the feeling stays then chat to your midwife, and definitely chat about your last birth and any anxiety about that. Oh, and digging out the tiny newborn clothes was also good for getting the happier excited feelings going!

Thanks. I dread having to see the midwife. I already discussed with DP before trying about the midwife/hospital issues. I'm trying to break as many associations as possible by going through a different hospital for my antenatal care. As it stands, I never want to have a midwife anywhere near me, much less share my vulnerabilities with one. I've been trying to find a doula in my area, but they're all on maternity leave at the moment. I'm hoping one will be back in time!