Dealing with grief

[user1499451561]

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and have just lost someone very close to me, I don't even know why I'm posting this I just feel so lost and don't know what else to do. I have plenty of people around me to support me does anyone know how to make it easier or how to cope with this? I'm trying my best to be strong for my baby but I'm finding it so hard to eat or sleep and stop crying! I cannot run away from this pain it won't leave me

First of all your baby will be fine, so don't worry about that. There's no need to be "strong" for it.

Just let yourself grieve and be gentle with yourself. Lean on the people around you if they are supportive. There's not much that makes raw grief easier, you just do what you can to get through each day and time does its work.

I’m so sorry for your loss!

Don’t worry about your baby! s/he will be fine :)

Take care of yourself, allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve and surround yourself with loved ones.
I know there’s nothing anyone can say to make it easier and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.

Xxx

Dealing with grief in pregnancy is really tough. I fell pregnant 3 months after losing my DM. I had thought I was coping ok, but I was actually still very much in shock at the time, and the grief finally came out during and after the pregnancy. It was impossible to separate where the crazy pregnancy hormones stopped and where the grief began, and the two hugely exaserbated each other.

Have you told your midwife what has happened? Even if you are managing ok-ish now or aren't ready for help it is good if they have it on record. They will keep an eye on you and offer support if it's needed. I finally got counselling when DD2 was about 5mo thanks to my lovely HV. Up until your DC is 2yo you are a priority for counselling in my area, although there was still a couple of month's wait. Whilst I was waiting my HV visited me weekly to check in.

Otherwise just try and be kind with yourself. It's ok to cry/scream/be angry. Do you have RL support?

I lost my mum when i was pg with dc2 in May. It was so hard, my sympathies are with you. But honestly the baby has made everything so much easier for me. She gives me constant distractions and keeps me busy, makes me happy when I could easily just mope around feeling sorry for myself. It's been a blessing.
My one tip is, if you can, rest as much as you can. Being pregnant is hard enough but bereavement really takes it out of you. And grieve how you want to, baby will be fine. Mine is super chilled despite what happened so I know it's not affected her.