Making DH do pregnancy sympathy days?

[Elmosmum]

We're away on an all inclusive holiday and I'm pregnant. We'd booked it up before finding out we were expecting.

We had a discussion before coming away where DH agreed to do 3 x random pregnancy sympathy days out of a 10 day holiday. The reason for this is I want him to understand for just 3 days what it's like being pregnant and the types of things he'd need to think about.

So, no alcohol, no caffeine, no cigarettes, no undercooked eggs, no soft cheese, no cured meats, no rare steaks or pink lamb or mercury rich fish or dubious shellfish. I can't make him have morning sickness, bloating or tiredness though!!

I must add that DH is up for it if a bit wary!!

Do you think this is a genius idea or AIBU!?

Sorry for typos!

@mustbemad17 haha yes I have! It's brilliant.

DP will be pleased that the mumsnet massive has changed my perspective and he can eat chorizo, bloody steak and red wine till his hearts content - whilst I watch and drool

@gingergenius it's good that he's an ex now

Haha good news! No point in the all inclusive booze allowance being wasted. I'm glad it was light hearted - it did come across as a bit precious at first reading!

Ginger my ex did this! I didn't have any medical complications, was just 38 weeks pregnant. Lugged everything up the stairs into my new flat, built all the furniture then watched him sleep on the only mattress i had. I slept on bare floorboards until i got my rage on & told him to eff off home (he had his own bed to sleep in!). Men can be wankers.

Elmosmum fair game to your fella for agreeing to it haha. I'd never have suggested it to my (now ex) OH, he'd roll his eyes at me & tell me to stop being a drama queen 😂😂

I have had a terrible pregnancy which has been plagued by hyperemesis and anxiety and my husband has been lovely and really looked after me. I think it's a really bizarre idea and I don't think it's necessary. Let him enjoy himself! Why put him through the misery?

We went all inclusive in Spain when I was 7 and 8 weeks pregnant, OH didn’t drink other than a sangria one night when I went to sleep early. I didn’t ask him though he just said he didn’t see the point... but he had the food etc. I don’t see the point in him not enjoying some eggs or all those delicious meats and cheeses I couldn’t eat. I had a lot of the fish though! But He isn’t pregnant! But if he wants to do it then sure, but the easiest part of pregnancy is the stuff you can’t have... the hardest part is the symptoms he can’t possibly be feeling. The pains and headaches etc etc

Very weird. He understands surely without experiencing?

Anyway bear in mind it's not as restrictive as you say. NHS guidance that I followed:

Lion stamped eggs are fine runny or even uncooked. Otherwise yes cooked through.

Fish - only ones to avoid are marlin shark and swordfish otherwise limit to two servings per week but positively encouraged to eat these two portions rather than avoid, as good for baby's development. Even sushi is approved by NHS (frozen first if wild fish).

Caffeine - limit to 200 mg not banned. So instant coffee is 100mg, tea is 75g, can of coke 40mg, bar of dark choc 25mg. "Good coffee" is higher but could safely get a nice coffee a day with breakfast

Dubious shellfish - I'd avoid dubious shellfish even when not pregnant! Cooked shellfish is fine so could have nice hot dish?

Soft cheese- most soft cheese fine if pasteurised. mould-ripened cheese is problem but fine cooked i.e. Brie risotto

I would personally rather my husband could experience the massive piles, projectile vomiting, horrendous heartburn, and of course being cut open and stitched back together again while fully conscious. But whatever floats your boat.

Waiting there's no way i'd wish that on a man...can you just imagine the bloody whining they'd do 😱 Would be like man flu multiplied by a gazillion!

No. Sorry this makes no sense to me. My dh was supportive in my pregnancy and there was no need to try to make him suffer. Yabu but sorry you're having a tough pregnancy.

I do think this is a strange request and pretty pointless, I'm not sure what will be gained by making him do this but if he's happy to agree to do this thats all that matters

If he’s game then fair enough- although maybe not on holiday. I see nothing wrong in dh having a taste of pregnancy and it’s restrictions. I did suggest he give up booze alongside me. Needless to say, it went down like a lead balloon!

I get where you are coming from. It does annoy me when DH goes out for a drink, or has a rare steak and "forgets" I can't do the same. Especially over the Xmas period I'm feeling really hard done by after quitting smoking, drinking and some of my favourite foods. I would be tempted to give him a 3 day ban too.

But I know in reality I couldn't do it as I'd think there's no point in us both suffering!

If your DH is up for it I don't see why not..I wouldn't force him though

I think let the poor guy enjoy his holiday (especially if this is his first, as he'll not get another chance for a long time), except for the cigarettes, no one should be smoking around you when you're pregnant. But for the record, I've enjoyed all those things in pregnancy, minus the cigarettes. Just I've done it in moderation and when I can assure the quality of what I'm eating. Plus I have a cup of coffee, sometimes two every day. I've made two healthy babies that way, so there's no harm even you enjoying yourself and relaxing on your holiday. But I wouldn't torture him too much, other than just expect him to cool it with the smoking and not be falling down drunk every day.

Why not chuck in a bit of gestational diabetes too?

Seriously, why would you do this? I get maybe no drinking but not the other stuff.