Anyone else's partners struggling with pregnancy new?

[greatorex2017]

I'm nearly 14 weeks and my partner has been so distant with me since I told him.. feeling fed up is an understatement... anyone else been through this and can offer advise? :-(

My pregnancy was planned but he walked out on me at 13 weeks 😬 Can't offer much advice other than fronting him & asking why. Better to know what you're working on now xxx

I just don't know what to say to him, he won't even touch me or say he loves me! We've been together 6 years I feel likes I don't even know him!

That's shitty 😔 Was baby planned? Someone told me that my ex was probably feeling really overwhelmed & struggling to get to grips with being a dad - he's 45 with two kids so fuck knows on that one!! Could that be your OH tho?

My ex didn't do the cold shoulder, not touching me thing...he literally went from wanting to marry me to sending me a watsapp message telling me he was leaving. I guess at least the change in behaviour gives you something to work with? You might have to bite the bullet & literally ask him why he has a stick up his ass

It wasn't planned no... and I think that's why he's being so distant. He likes everything his own way and this is out of his control. But even so, he's 35 with no children and has always promised we will have a baby one day. I just literally don't know what to say to him, when I do try to talk to him he blames it on hormones..!

Oooh I hate the hormones card 😡😡 what was his initial reaction when you first found out? Has this been like a gradual decline in interest or a 'shit she's pregnant' freak out?

My OH was really crap until 12 weeks or so - I told him to sort it out or I was leaving.

Maybe you need to have it out?

Mines really stepped up since, been reading up on all things baby related and come to all my appointments.

He was really awful for a while though, argumentative, impatient, insensitive etc - I really felt like I didn't know who he was anymore and it was really stressful. I was so close to walking out on him. Especially considered this was a planned pregnancy!

When I got him to actually open up he said he was anxious something might go wrong and feeling really overwhelmed. I've just about managed to forgive his bad behaviour now.

Can you confront your OH?

When I told him he was shocked and laughed!

Nice 😬 I honestly think your best foot forward is to confront him. Find out wtf is going on in his head & what he expects

I suppose I need to have it out with him, but I struggle as he somehow seems to turn it back to me. I.e, he says 'I only had one job' basically to not get pregnant until he gives the go ahead. My head hurts :-(

Er, what now??! Was he using something? If not he is just as responsible for not keeping to a time schedule...even if you were on contraception it isn't 100%!!

He sounds quite controlling, is he?

Yes he can be, he's just got back from work so I need to go. I'll log back in tomorrow.

He's still being awful now he's back! Sorry for too much information

Sounds like you would be much better knowing where he (and you) stand. Living with all that uncertainty & stress is crap. Try & take it easy OP

Just create your own space and bubble around yourself. Let him have time (even if he is being an immature spoon). Just be excited for yourself and new life and potter about and get ready. He either gets on board or he doesn’t

My OH just won't start acting responsible and mature. I think your best confronting him but my OH can get quite defensive if I confront him so understand why you'd feel uncomfortable. It's a difficult situation

Thanks for the replies everyone

What surprised me with my OH is that he seemed to struggle with a lack of attention from me! I have been feeling different / ill and not myself plus dealing with my own feelings and he said he felt neglected and also fed up with me going on about my symptoms. It didnt help that for a cpuple of weeks i couldn't stand the smell of his aftershave and wouldn't let him near me
I think as ive started feeling a bit more relaxed he has too and we are getting back to normal but these first 12 weeks have definitely been a bit rocky!

I'm experiencing exactly the same thing and it's really draining. My boyfriend and I were only together a few months and unplanned pregnancy. I am over the moon and will continue quite happily without him but am finding his lack of interest really draining! I find it's more tiring hoping and expecting a reaction from him than just having no contact. Ours is very complicated though, he's a pretty strict muslin and I'm more spiritual so we've already come up against big cultural differences. Luckily I have amazing friends and family behind me so not on my own, but do miss a loving hug and supportive words.
He also made some 'hormone' comments which drove me mad. Luckily we don't live together so I've actually been avoiding him staying because I find him too frustrating. I have tried to talk to him but nothing changes. He's told me he's not sleeping and thinking a lot but won't tell me about what, I told him it's like a brick wall, etc but he literally didn't respond. I give up!!!
MagpieMay, your message was hopeful to me! Maybe things will turn around for all of us struggling with unsupportive partners.