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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

19 weeks...partner seriously rejecting me....

4 replies

lydsim25 · 12/12/2017 12:14

Hi guys...
just looking for some light on my situation.. maybe long winded so sorry in advance!

Iv been with my OH over a year, he Is quite a few years older than me, we both have children from previous relationships who all get on.
Anyway, when I got pregnant he refused to come to my scan, apointments, said he didn't want to look at the scan.. he was really cruel with his words. even though it was in planned I went with my heart and kept my baby.
he has accepted it now as much as I think he will.

Anyway.... I feel he still resents me. He doesn't cuddle me or kiss me.. just the robotic kiss goodbye when he goes to work.
I try and talk to him about future plans etc and ask him if he loves me and he basically tells me to stop asking questions.
when I cry he ignores me... I've mastered the silent cry in bed when I fall asleep now.
I'm almost 19 weeks now and iv been buying baby things etc getting prepared and he hasn't offered to help with anything.
I feel SO alone. my 2 children keep me going they are my best friends they are still in school and I look forward to them coming home every day from school as I have now left my job for now.

Iv never met my partners family just his children! which I find very odd.. maybe he saw me as no commitment in the first place!
he lives with his Mum after his marriage breakdown 5 years ago!
he stays at my house every night but always comes late at 9.30 ish after hes finished work, been home fed himself and got ready!
I just feel so so alone

by the time he comes to my house at night were both tired and cant really talk about anything properly. he drinks every night.. I know a lot of people do but (a big glass of wine)
I just feel its always me doing family thing with kids.. preparing for our little boy and for Christmas and I feel hes just a visitor!

I don't want a lot.. just a hug.
ive asked him to meet my parents and he says well I'm not hiding I'm at your house every night! hes made no effort at all. I don't get a text or call in the day to see if I'm ok.
maybe I should forget about myself and focus on his needs maybe hes struggling?
I love him all my heart and I am old school and bileave you should always work through things I just feel invisible to him ....
I make myself look nice and make an effort and he doesn't bat and eye lid.

I don't see my family very much...
I don't have many friends.. not many I can talk to anyway and he knows that.
I feel bad just looking at things for the baby.
I'm nearly half way now we need to plan etc...
I just want him to be there and see if I need anything... just generaly care for me like I do for him
I'm rambling on now... any advise would be appreciated xxxx

OP posts:
NerNerNerNerBATMAN · 12/12/2017 12:20

You poor thing. He sounds absolutely awful and I very much doubt he will change. Honestly? I'd leave him and just crack on with it yourself. It's not like he's adding anything positive to your life really is it?

How come you're not in work? Did he ask you to quit?

Iris65 · 12/12/2017 12:31

What a horrible way to behave towards you. It sounds as if he has very little invested in your relationship, what you describe is a man who is behaving like a child. He does not have any responsibilities at the moment: living with his mum, visiting you and you are feeling rejected and abandoned because he really hasn’t committed to your relationship.
You need to take care of yourself and your DC, do nice things for yourself everyday and start suggesting that you have a couple of nights a week apart. After all what is he contributing to your life other than pitching up late at night, drinking your wine and sleeping in your bed - which sounds more like a booty call than a real relationship?
I am so sorry that you are so unhappy. There is a better life for you though, providing you invest in it.

lydsim25 · 12/12/2017 12:32

Hi thanks for reply..
No i felt really ill at the start work was impossible my job was very long hours...

Your advise is right sometimes u just need someone to say it x

OP posts:
Darcychu · 12/12/2017 16:46

Honestly it just sounds like he doesnt want the baby or the relationship. I feel for you i really do, as a pregnant girl i dont know how i would manage without my partners support. I think you need to sit down with him and just talk to him about it and say that it needs to be talked about because at the end of the day it takes two to tango and if he doesnt want the baby then obviously you cant force it on him BUT he needs to grow up and be there for you and the child. Be understanding and support his worries and fears and make sure he knows that you are on his side but that its too late to go back and breaking down isnt the right thing to do on his behalf.

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