First trimester troubles with partner

[Southernscape2017]

I found out I am five weeks pregnant one week ago. Since we found then my partner has been in a continuous mood says I'm a different woman and our relationship is breaking apart so much I don't know what to do.
We normally spend a lot of time together but he is constantly avoiding me and locking himself away. He's backed off emotionally and physically.
Although I'm quite hormonal, tired and bloated I'm feeling mostly OK but for some reason we just can't get on at all. Although we've talked about this almost every day things, it doesn't seem to be getting any better and I feel completely unsupported through this tricky time
Is this normal? What can I say to get him to snap out of it?

Sorry to hear this OP. This behaviour isn't normal. Has your partner explained why he's acting like this? I very much doubt you are behaving like "a different woman", and it's unfair of him to put this all onto you.

Was this a planned pregnancy? It sounds like he's anxious about the baby and might take a while to warm to the idea.

I would say no, this isn't normal, not in a healthy relationship anyway with someone who really wants children. Was your pregnancy planned? I would imagine it might be more typical (if not 'normal') when the pregnancy comes as a shock. It might just be his way of taking time to get his head around something that was such a surprise.

You probably are tired and grumpy and not feeling great. I do find 1st trimester means focusing a lot more on myself and just surviving the day. I don't have much energy for things. Don't feel well. There is no sex and little intimacy as I always have a lot of bleeding in early pregnancy and it's just not something I'm interested in. So if your partner always has to be the centre of attention and demands a lot from you, yes, it's likely you have 'changed' as you aren't likely able to be as focused on everyone else. Though that's probably good preparation for what parenting will be like to be fair.

Unfortunately, my friends' partner was like this in 1st trimester. Increasingly distant, very changed, little interest in her pregnancy, etc. and one day he just disappeared. I mean like literally, packed his stuff up and was gone and said he realised he wasn't ready and panicked. His dd is 5 now and he's still never met her. I hope that isn't the case obviously and I'm sure it's not that serious (and he is a bit of a wanker to be fair). But it might mean he needs some support getting his head around the news and the realisation of how much life is about to change. Don't let him project it on you in the meantime.

This isn't right. Sounds like he's making excuses not to be with you, I know that sounds harsh. He knew what he was doing when making the baby.

My pregnancy was planned but TTC was quicker than I had expected, let alone DH.... He seemed quite dazed for some time, and didn't really talk about it much. Now I'm 7 months he is cracking on with DIY ready for baby, and touching my bump to feel if baby is kicking.
Give him time, and try not to push it. You can't force him to be ready before he is, but you can certainly drive him away if you push too hard.

Thanks for your messages, it is so great to be able to talk this through when you have to keep it secret from friends and family.
I did thuink this was not normal.
He was bugging me a few months to take my implant out so we can start baby making so it is very much planned but it did happen quickly, about three weeks after it was removed so a little surprising.
He's always been so dying for kids I can't believe he's acting this way now Im pregnant?
Maybe he needs to be centre of attention and I've never realised it before...
I'm probably overreacting from hormones with him. I'll try and give him time to see if he comes round and starts trying to embrace it better.
Great to know someone is hear to listen, thanks

It doesn't sound like normal behaviour and I wonder if he's kind of freaking out now that reality has hit even though it's what he wanted all along.

I don't think there's anything you can say yo make him snap out of it nor should that be your job. He needs to sort his sh*t and his head out sharpish and that's for him to do, not you. If I were you though I would be cautious as it would ring alarm bells for me.

I totally agree with you. He does need to sort himself out. Alarm bells are ringing and now I'm trying to remind myself not to make any harsh decisions just yet and be patient but not the easiest when you have your hormones going so crazy. He's reassured me several times when I've asked that he wants the baby... Hmmm..
I'm waiting for a nice dinner, flowers or something to tell me it's going to be OK... We'll ll see if it happens...

It reminded me of a friend who proposed to his long time girlfriend, and then when she said yes it dawned on him they will be getting married. Obviously he knew that would be it, but it was only once it became official it really made him so uncomfortable that he broke up in a really not nice way a few months later. Like the idea of wanting to marry her and actually doing it were two completely different things.
Maybe your partner is the same? Loved the idea of having a baby, but when he realised he would actually have one, it made him feel uncomfortable?
DO talk to him about it, as it's definitely not normal.

Our baby was planned and very much wanted although conceived much quicker than expected, and even I freaked out! I've always been so so sure that all I want is a family yet when it actually happens its so bloody scary! Maybe that coupled with your change in mood/hormones has just made him panic a bit. Give him some time and don't be too pushy with him, but make sure you put yourself first. If you don't want to make the dinner because you need a nap then bloody well have a nap! Im sure he'll come round when realitys sunk in, maybe that won't happen until the scan when it all starts to feel more real

I think you're right he's holding back until he know everything is with a scan . I think he's just freaking out and all will be fine in a week but a week when you're pregnant seems so long!
He was just so keen to have kids, more than any man I've met from the moment I met him until... Well..a week ago when we found out... I expected a back rub and what can I do to help attitude and let's Google this and that together. I guess my hopes were too high from him. At least I'm starting to see what it will be like when baby comes but I will be patient for a little longer and try not to let it get to me.

I finally managed to see what the problem is, now I'm calmer I see that he's completely on overdrive with worry for him, for me, for the baby. He doesn't want to hurt me and I don't think he can really cope with the idea of all the change that is going on and what is ahead.
He's still got a right attitude like extreme PMS but I'll ride it out a little.
I am worried he may not want it and I am considering abortion in my hormonal moments but there's time to decide and calm down. Got a night to myself so gong to do some yoga and eat ice cream!