Much needed advice for a first time mum to be - Worrying is an understatement.

[Charliebob1337]

So I will try and keep this short and sweet.

I found out on 28th Nov that I was pregnant after taking 2 clear blue tests at home. It was a shock after trying for a year and a half as I have PCOS and I am on Metformin. I worked out my dates to be at the time around 9 weeks. I saw the Midwife the next day which confirmed that I would be around 9 weeks as my last period was 28th Sept and got the ball rolling. Prior to this periods due to medication were often on time and around 28 days but on rare occasions may be a little later.

The weeks prior to this I had been feeling pretty rough - nausea, nose bleeds, rhinitis, fatigued, tired, sore breasts but ignored them thinking I was just over due on my period and it would come any time soon, especially as I was getting period like cramps all the time. I only did a test as it was my xmas party that week and didn't want to drink on the off chance I was.

As it is our first baby we stupidly told close family and friends due to pure excitement more than anything but we were naive to think everything would be so plain sailing. Any ways 5 days later after finding out I was pregnant, the cramping became worse. I wanted to just curl up in a ball. I went to my GP who confirmed that as I had no bleeding it was probably because I have PCOS cramping can be worse.

I left feeling a little calmer but not convinced. I am now 10.5 weeks and I feel the symptoms are starting to go. Apart from an occasional waft of nausea, the only symptoms I have are sore breasts, these god damned cramps/shooting pains which are still hurting like hell, and now have new friends to accompany them which is back pain and weakness.

So on friday just gone I didn't feel right and knowing I was around 10 weeks I booked myself a private scan for my husband and I to attend. We got there around 5pm and 2 ladies were there. I had checked them out online - they had great reviews, one lady was an actual midwife the other worked for NHS in spare time too. CQC approved too and had all the qualifications.

So the scan was on the huge 50 inch TV, and I lay there whilst they did their thing. So at first my bladder was way too full, even though I had stopped for a pee along the way, it was just taking over the screen. I emptied it half way, still no sac or baby. In the end I had to empty it all the way. They then saw a sac, but no baby! The part that sticks out in my mind was that she measured the sac to say it was the right size for 10 weeks.

They were really sweet and just made some excuses that the baby could be hiding or I could have a tilted uterus which I think I do. But surely you wouldn't see the sac if this was the case? We saw a blurry sac with nothing in - so after some research I am thinking a blighted ovum?

I called my GP when we left and told her and I can't see anyone for a transvaginal scan until hopefully tomorrow, but I am going beside myself. The cramps last night were horrendous too. Still no blood at all, but surely if it was a MC I would have had some bleeding by now with all these cramps I have been having. I don't know whether to mourn or stay positive and my anxiety is causing me to not want to eat or speak.

I did buy another clear blue advanced one which still told me I was pregnant but 2-3 weeks, that would make me a few weeks earlier perhaps 7-8 weeks but still should of surely seen a jelly bean on the screen? I am overweight too so wondering if this affected the scan?

Any advice if you have been through this or if an ultrasound at 10 weeks hasn't given you the answers you wanted? Or even if you have has a blighted ovum, I would be really grateful.

I don't know if I should just A&E it, I work for the NHS too and don't ever use their services but as I am at a loose end and worried and in pain I am unsure of what to do!!?

You have my sympathies but I don’t think there is any need to go to A&E. Have you got a number for the MWs? I would call them instead.

You need to call the midwives and get an appt with the EPU. Usually they can get you in next day M-F. Don't go to A&E. They don't have trained midwives there and won't be able to do anything for you other than to tell you to make an appt with the EPU. Even if you had bleeding along with cramping, unless you are passing out, I would stay at home. A&E really is the last place you'll want to be if you're having a miscarriage. Unfortunately, it is a natural process and assuming you are otherwise well (like I said, not passing out), you'll be better off at home. I would make your partner get you some co-codamol though if you need it.

I would say in my experience, yes, at 10 weeks (if you really are 10 weeks), you wouldn't be able to miss a baby on the screen with an abdominal scan. I've had lots of early scans (this is my 3rd pregnancy) and it's normal for them to need to do a transvaginal scan to see more detail at that point (to look for bleeds, get more precise measurements). But you wouldn't see an empty gestational sac. If the sac is measuring 10 weeks, I think you are probably right that you are experiencing a blighted ovum, which I think you probably know, but I'm sure that's still not what you want to hear.

I had a missed miscarriage in March/April. I should have been 8 weeks, but baby measured only 5. Even then, it was possible to see a fetal pole by abdominal scan, though they needed to do a vaginal one to get better measurements. At your private scan, they absolutely should have done a vaginal scan. When I had my missed mc, they did one just to double check as they shouldn't be just giving excuses rather than investigating. That's what you're paying them for.

Hopefully you'll get in to the EPU tomorrow. I got in the next day after my private scan (which was a Monday, scan was Friday). The EPU midwives were really lovely and I felt very supported. They'll hopefully be able to answer more of your questions and also do a more thorough scan for you. It's really hard though just hanging in limbo. I found that really was the most difficult part. Hang in there until you know more and take care of yourself today.

How are you getting on now Charlie? I had a partial molar which was picked up at my 12 week scan. Be prepared that the EPU might not do much tomorrow apart from scans and testing your blood/urine. This made changed since mine was discovered but they may just monitor you for a few days

I know the waiting is unbearable but there's not much you can do except wait for an internal scan. A&E won't be able to tell you if you're miscarrying or not. If the pain is unbearable - ie passing out, or you start bleeding through more than one pad an hour then A&E can help.
I've had a similar experience with an empty sac - should have been 8 weeks, had a bit of spotting and pain and a scan showed an empty sac and some unidentifiable tissue. It was really difficult at the time but the sadness didn't last forever. Thankfully the physical process wasn't too unbearable. I was told on the day of the empty sac scan to come back in 2 weeks so they could say for certain what had happened but nature took it's course before the second scan.

Thinking of you and hope you're as ok as you can be. Let us know how you get on.