I don't know where to turn. I've been with my partner for nearly 3 years. She has a child from a previous relationship who I have a deep bond with. We have an unexpected twin pregnancy that is currently at 16 weeks. She has a lot of mental health issues and had a fairly long admission in the Spring. We live 150miles apart, with plans to move in together shortly.
In short, I have been unable to shake the feeling that something is wrong. I forever have been thinking that there will be something abnormal, be it a miscarriage, abnormality or some other problem. This has been ok, but last night when we had a lot of bleeding I have not been able to contain these feelings. I have not been able to go into work, stop myself crying uncontrollably and am now having panic attacks. I have never had these before. I have seen my GP this morning who was really helpful.
The main issue is the stress that this is causing on the relationship. I am dragging her down with me, as she puts it. I am causing her issues bonding with the twins, feeling worried and detached herself and generally making problems. I have had to cease all contact for the moment for her sake, which is making me worse.
I do not think my anxiety is helping by the complete lack of screening or help offered. I have been productive and looked into private harmony testing and am happy to pay for this too, but I have no idea if this will then push my anxieties onto something else even if I have reassurance that there is a low chance of downs syndrome.
I just feel so alone currently, and a failure of a partner.