MIL rant. Antisocial maternity leave

[Hannabee123]

I hate people

3 weeks til I'm due and I just want to be left alone to sleep and get things done.

I have a dog which my mother in law insists on picking up in the morning and dropping off in the afternoon since I've been on leave.
When she picks him up he barks and jumps and is just awful so I've been shutting him in the kitchen until he calms down.
She will make comments about this and she will sit there hugging and kissing him and calling him baby and just enforcing every bad behaviour which i am trying to stop.
I don't want him barking and bouncing all.over the house when the baby's here in the living room as he just gets way too excited at visitors and runs around like an idiot.
I can't take it. It's making me hate the dog and making me hate her. My view is if my MIL can't reinforce a dogs behaviour I don't want her anywhere near my baby. She has expressed several times that she will be lingering like a bad fart.

Is it bad that I just want to be left the hell alone!?? I don't sleep at night I'm tired I feel like a whale and I can't take this shit anymore 😐

Should I tell my partner to start dropping the dog off in the morning before he goes to work? I can't seem to be left alone and she must have the dog.
I can't tolerate any of this. If she wants to mother the dog she can do it at her house and suffer the noise and consequences.

You need to buy Pizzles for your dog. I have two dogs who bark and go crazy when we have visitors but if we give them a pizzle they run off as quiet as mice. It also keeps them preoccupied for half an hour.

To be honest I'd just say that you don't need her to look after the dog anymore. You appreciated that she dog sat whilst you were working but now you don't need her to do it. The problem you face with her still having the dog is that she will be doing all the behaviour you don't want - but just in the privacy of her own home. This is going to cause huge problems for you when baby is here and you can't control your dog.

My mum fusses over my two so I do sympathise.

I know it's my partners dog he's had him 8 years so his mum has always looked after him on and off and very much wants the dog to be hers.
I want the dog to be at home so I could work with him but it's just impossible. She will cry say she has depression and needs the dog and just give my OH hell. There's no way I can have the dog at home without causing WW3

I think hate 8s an awful word to use in this situation.

Have you considered that your MiL is trying to, you know, help?? Yes, you feel she is overstepping, but look at it this wy - she has looked after your dog whilst you were working, therefore she knows what a pain in the rse he can be. It does not bother her. BUT, when she comes now, she sees you wound up about his behaviour, and in an effort to help you destress, steps in.
I am not saying she is right, but I do think your vitriol is nasty and unnecessary.

Had I been you, i would have gone along the lines of ' look MiL, can you help me retrain dog to fuss less? I want him nice and calm when baby comes, so this is what i want to try........'

Honestly, with the help she has already given and the huge help she could be in the future, your hatred is totally misplaced.

What part of this has been going on long before I met my OH does no one get? She has to have the dog because it's what she wants. She agreed it when he bought the dog all them years ago.

I've asked her to help me with the training and she refuses and has a go at me and my partner for trying to correct his behaviour.

Are people not reading the post?

I hate her because of my hormones at the moment like I've hated my OH on and off for no reason.

Please read the post before you all start calling me nasty etc..

If you won't tell her that you don't need her help anymore and she won't follow your training guidelines then you only really have two options:

• suck it up because this is the way that it is (and buy a shit load of high quality, long lasting dog treats for when you have visitors)
• give her the dog permanently to keep

I hate her because of my hormones at the moment like I've hated my OH on and off for no reason.

But if you know you're being irrational, how can you still think it's right to take that out on her? I feel really sorry for her - she thinks she's helping, she's doing something that was a gratefully received favour for a long time, and now that you don't need the favour you've decide you 'hate' her and rather than talking to her about it you want to shut her out entirely.

You sound deeply unpleasant and highly strung and yes I have read all your post which makes you sound worst and worst. I agree with all the above posters. Feel sorry for the poor dog and your MIL. You sound awful.

OP doesn't sound awful at all. There's nothing worse than someone interfering constantly.

This is what I'm dreading when I get closer to due date with my family, I hope you get it sorted OP, but for now let your DH deal with his mother

Can you just give the dog to MIL?

Tell her that her refusal to train the dog and blatant encouraging of it's bad behaviours will make it a danger to her grandchild.

You also need to make it very clear asap that she will not be popping round every day to see baby.
If it was me it would be when invited and only when DP is there to deal with her.

3 weeks from giving birth I would have snapped at Florence Nightingale if she sweetly smiled and said hello. So how on EARTH you deal with this I don't know! Good luck in sorting things OP!

OP you levels of anger seem disproportionate. It might be a good idea to talk to your gp/mw- ante-natal depression is a thing

Okay well not sleeping, heavily pregnant, early delivery nextweek due to issues would make any woman on edge.
I ask for advice and I get some fucking horrible judgy women pouncing on me I can see why people don't bother posting on here I really do.

Understandable @Hannabee123 but take a breath. It all feels a bit overwhelming atm but there is genuine support on here. Glad your OH can see your point.

The dog sounds like he needs behavioural Work and you've got enough on your plate right now. Could your OH organise training WITH mil to reinforce the need for stronger boundaries with the dog. Sometimes advice from a stranger is more palatable?

Looking at all the posts, I assume some people took your original rant as something more than what it was (I think saying you hate your MIL and hate your dog was taken more seriously than you intended, as I'm sure you don't actually hate them?)

There is genuine advice on your thread though, don't look past that, some people are trying to help you.
Its clear that your situation needs to change otherwise you're going to end up really snapping when the baby is here and none of this is the dogs fault. I hope you manage to find a solution soon.

I'm not a fucking horrible gey woman Hannah, i just wanted to point out that you may be misinterpreting your MiLs attitude.
I have been pregnant twice and the first pregnancy was horrendous, i cannot begin to tell you how bad, so please do not use that as an excuse.
You have three choices - try to work with your MiL, ask her to take the dog or cut her from your life altogether. Personally, i would persist with the first option, because i do think your perception of things may be a little scewed at the moment (i honestly mean that kindly - you have not had an issue with her and the dog for the past 8 years?).

I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy.

*gey is obviously judgey...... no idea where the jud went 😊

OP I feel so sorry for you
It's so hard when you have a suffocating in law and you just want to be left in peace.
It's great your husband is on your side and has spoken to her.
Just stay firm.
If she think she can take over with your little one when he/she get here she will try.

Hopefully you can rest and enjoy the peace now if husband take the dog to in-laws.

Good luck with baby coming