Difficult (first) first trimester

[Sassymcgoo]

Hi all,

I'm 28 and having my first baby. Im so happy about it as I've been broody for years and been putting it off to do things like travelling etc. However now theres just sooo much happening that I feel overwhelmed. I've been signed off for two weeks by the doctor as my job as a restaurant manager/assistant manager of one of the busiest places in my home city was just too much.

I've been struggling with pain to the point I was in a&e as they were concerned I was having an ectopic pregnancy. Turns out baby is perfect and in the right place so thats a relief. I've also been dealing with MAD constipation. Im a vegan so am used to being regular to the max! So this is a shock to my system. The doctors have given me lactolose and im waiting for it to work its magic.

Im also struggling to eat, luckily not due to sickness, but the pain it causes afterwards and also just really not having an appetite. I usually LOVE food, so again this is getting to me!

Lastly (sorry this is a huge rant!) I feel very depressed. Before I knew I was pregnant I was struggling to the point I started to take st johns wort and was seeking councelling as I was having dark thoughts. I also completely stopped drinking (pretty awesome considering I didn't have a clue I was pregnant!) Because I was completely out of control. I don't feel any inclination to hurt myself anymore, I just feel quite bleak and shrouded in horribleness (if that makes any sense) I dont want my hormones to make me feel this way, but I don't know what to do...

I know pregnancy is hard, but I feel like all these things combined are making me completely overwhelmed and I just want to find a way to enjoy this, as this is what I have always wanted.

Sorry this was so long, I guess I needed a vent.

Hey you, how you doing?
I wanted to answer your post as I often enjoy a vent too!
I have suffered anxiety in the past although I'm OK now, except for normal anxiety of being in first trimester! First baby too, eek!
The midwife at my booking appointment was awesome and I spoke openly about my anxiety, which in itself helped a lot!
I know obviously depression is different but do speak to your midwife, where I live there is a self referral help group you can join and they seem to really want to support you.
And hey, don't be too hard on yourself x you're going to be amazing!

Hi, how many weeks pregnant are you now? Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.

I'm 24 and this is my first too, I'm 12 weeks now and still suffering horribly from hyperemsis, I've been signed off work since week 6 as I vomit frequently every day and spend most of my time sleeping. I am coming off my anti-depressant now that I was on for previous depression, and I have an anxiety disorder. I haven't left the house apart from for healthcare appts since my last day of work in week 6, so you can imagine how down and tearful I am atm . I never imagined pregnancy would be this horrific .

I also suffer with constipation as a side-effect of my hyperemesis and the medication I take for it. Lactulose should hopefully help. I am avoiding laxatives at the moment and just trying to improve the amount of fibrous food and liquid i'm taking in but that's hard when I feel so nausous and not able to eat or drink properly and vomiting .

Everyone says the first trimester is the worst in terms of feeling crap so things should start to improve for me over the next few weeks I hope, and you too once you're out of the first trimester [flower]. I know the time can feel like it is going soo slow but just have to try and hold on to the light at the end of the tunnel.

If your mental health is really bad I would suggest talking to your GP or midwife about it. You may need therapy or even medication. Your midwife should consider referring you to the perinatal mental health team - I was asked if I wanted to be referred but turned it down as I didn't feel bad enough to need it plus with being basically housebound due to sickness I don't think I would engage with it well but I know it's there if I change my mind.