I have everything but don't feel ready yet

[Hannabee123]

5 weeks until D-Day

I have everything I need in my house. I have everything baby needs. I have more than enough infact mostly thanks to family / friends I am really lucky.

Feels as though there is a massive weight on my shoulders and I feel like I'm forgetting something.

I don't feel at all ready or even prepared. I don't know if this is just me mentally not feeling ready for it yet?

My sister is pregnant at the moment. I'm much further along and yet I am being compared to her all the time. In the process of sorting my hospital bag (apparently she had hers done by 20 weeks)
Maybe it's because of being compared / people's opinions / I'm letting people get to me and stress me out so much.

I've been a little laid back about my hospital bag because I have alot in the house and anything I'm forgetting... there is the world's biggest sainsburys opposite my hospital. I figured if I forgot something I can just send my partner across. But nope apparently I should be ready and sorted!?

I'm not really sure what I'm asking or what opinions I'm asking for. I'm ready but I'm not?
Maybe I just needed a rant to stop feeling overwhelmed 😕

I'm currently 2 days overdue and been pregnant alongside 2 of DH's cousins and about 3 friends AND my uncle's girlfriend. I am certainly being compared to everyone else because I've been so ill with Hyperemesis and the others have all sailed through.

I still don't feel ready, and while I've had everything sorted for 2 weeks at least now, I still feel like I've not done something so repack the bags, check the pushchair etc despite knowing it's all sorted...

You're not alone in it!

Haha thanks! There's nothing worse than being compared to everyone else. It's making me doubt myself and just setting me back. I hope your little one makes an appearance soon :)

I'm the same. I'm due just under four weeks and don't feel at all ready! I think a lot of it for me is because I'm so nervous about the birth. I've had a lovely pregnancy so I'm hoping that the delivery isn't too traumatic but I know it could go any which way!

It sounds silly but I think it still hasn't sunk it I'm actually going to have a baby here in a few week because all I keep thinking about is the birth.

I'm sure what we feel is normal though and we will all be absolutely fine! (hoping so anyway ;) )

I've 4.5 weeks to go and only just packed my bag. This is dc2 so not feeling quite so stressed. More worried about childcare for DD when it all kicks off.

Last time I barely used half of what was in my hospital bag so don't panic. It's normal to worry about the actual birth but once it starts then you just have to let it happen. No going back now

Yeah I'm also finding myself getting anxious about the birth. You can't really plan for it because who knows what's going to happen.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one I just feel so strange about it all and not ready!
I have most of the bag items around but just need some maternity pads which I'm getting tomorrow and i'l be sorted.
Feel a little lost 😓😯

How can you ever feel ready for something so huge? You just have to try and roll with it

I never understood birthplans either

I never packed a hospital bag! Not until contractions started anyway. It’s rarely so quick that you haven’t got time to chuck some stuff in a bag!
Also never wrote a birth plan, my plan was to get the baby out as quickly and safely as possible!

I am 31 weeks and not very prepared! It is ny second dc and i am much more relaxed and realistic. Babies need clothes, a safe place to sleep and milk. That is literally it.

Next time someone comments just smile and nod ... say something banal and change the subject.

As and when you have the time get a few bits for your hospital bag (my top tip is to buy the mini soap/shampoo etc so you dont have to take in loads of toiletries) and pack them, but the world will still turn if you forget something.

Good luck with your pregnancy and birth

Yes yes to the birth plan- my plan... give birth!

Not much point planning when the baby wont know what the plan is (and likely do something else entirely!)

Not much point planning when the baby wont know what the plan is (and likely do something else entirely!)

Exactly.

You'll be okay OP

Most first time mums pack way too much in their hospital bag/s anyway. I definitely did. It’s not like the shops all close the second you have your baby- if there’s something you need, you’ll be able to get it pretty swiftly via Amazon or by sending someone to the shops.

The massive weight on your shoulders is the safe delivery of your baby. You worry about how the birth will go, then you realise you’re going to have something or other to worry about for the rest of their lives! Ha! I’m sure you’ll be fine and can guarantee your sis will be laughing about how overboard she went with the packing once she’s on baby number 2!

I didn’t pack a hospital bag. I went into labour at 36 weeks and had to run around chucking things together
Stick your feet up, have some chocolate and watch a few box sets

You've all made me feel so much better. My mum has phoned and had a go at me twice stressing me to get my bag packed and stick it in the car. Then the why can't I be like my sister 20 weeks and bag ready, bedroom ready, everything ready mum of the year and so on...

I've tried to argue that yes unless something's wrong you will generally have time to throw things together or if not my partner is not incompetent and can throw something together. There's the world's biggest sainsburys just opposite my hospital which even has an argos in!
That and the midwife told me to not bother so much until 35 / 36 weeks.

Yeah my plan is to get her out as quick and safe as possible, there's just no predicting it so maybe that's where abit of anxiety is kicking in.

I'm just bloody sick of people saying how they are ready to leap into a car at any point and be mother of the year. Hand me a newborn and i'l probably be clueless for a while 😕

I think I'm just letting people get to me

Oh bless their cotton socks, you don't get "mother of the year" by giving birth. Tell them to get back to you in twenty years.

Correct handling of mums who say "why can't you be more like x?" Is to smile down the phone and change the subject. Just let it go in one ear and out the other. Also get a spare doorbell chime if you're desperate and keep the button handy

Aha thanks Hannah I hope he appears soon too but he seems to be just as stubborn as his father...

Literally just ignore anything your mum says when comparing you. If the midwife said not to worry until a certain point then don't. Some women like or need to be prepared early to help them cope/deal with problems/ makes them feel better but other women really don't feel the need to. And if she continues, don't feel bad for just hanging up! You don't need someone nagging you. (My nan is pestering me every other day and trying to get me to ask her to come down and help. I don't need the help and I don't want people here. DH has told me to stop answering the phone now otherwise she'll just keep asking)

There's so much pressure and other people can be awful. Since day 1 of my pregnancy I've had brilliant advice mostly off healthcare professionals and mums with multiple kids then I've had really bad advice and opinions even from people with no kids. I think everyone just likes sticking their nose in and 'helping'

I'm two days over and I'm not packed!

Please try not to worry OP, it's really not fair of your mum to compare you like this.

When I had my first daughter, I was not ready until 1 week before she was born. Than so many of my family and friends visited me, we went to the hospital which created the mood. Then I got mentally prepared. Don't worry! You'll get through this emotion/feeling :)

Perhaps you are subconsciously anxious but you feel numb...don't know how to put it.