Yes me, I was unable to believe I was pregnant until my fourth scan at 20 weeks. I thought I'd feel better after this especially as she was wriggling more and more, but instead I just got scared every time I couldn't feel her. Poor kid was poked/woken up constantly in utero especially at night.
She's my third baby and although I was anxious with the other two (now 8 and 10) and had PND this has been far far worse. I actually think it's because this wasn't planned (not unwanted, just sort of not prevented rather than actively TTC) and I couldn't believe it, I felt guilty over my initial panicky reaction at BFP, and I just couldn't envisage another little person and this turned into not believing it was actually going to happen.
I had gestational diabetes and this sent my anxiety higher, I was scared to eat in case it hurt her, and although I managed to keep my sugar levels perfect I was convinced I was failing. At my last growth scan she looked small so they induced me and it was horrible. I didn't agree with the way it was all done, things like making me lie on my back for hours being monitored even though her heart rate had stayed perfect. But I was so terrified that I did everything they said because - and I have not said this to anyone, not out loud, not even my husband or my midwife - from the start I was absolutely convinced that she would be stillborn. I could not let myself believe we would be taking her home.
I was in total shock when they finally put her on my chest after the worst four days of my life, all I kept saying to DH over and over was, I can't believe it, I can't believe she's here, she's real.
I hate to say it but the anxiety hasn't gone. I have always had anxiety issues anyway but it has escalated, I have spent all day crying because we had to cancel plans for the second time on the tiny chance someone else there was contagious with norovirus, I feel like never leaving the house and it's like I can see germs everywhere. I was admitted to A&E on Friday and I had to take her with me (EBF), I am lucky we didn't have to stay in because I was an anxious wreck.
On the back of this thread I am about to phone the GP and see if I can move my appointment forward from the 30th. Always do the same if you are struggling. I have an excellent doctor who just totally got how I felt in pregnancy and offered to see me regularly.
I've added some photos of my little one (4 weeks tomorrow), not just to show her off honest :o
but to remind you that will be you soon, with your own perfect little person, and that despite all this it is absolutely, 100% worth it, I promise it is. 