Hi, I’ve just found out that I’m pregnant roughly five weeks to my ex who I split up with about4weeks who!
Two years ago (a month after we got together) I fell pregnant and we decided to have an abortion and we have been up and down ever since!
I left him in March this year because of his inability to tell the truth over stupid things even when I had proof he was lying. He came crawling back in July after sleeping with another girl and taking her away on holiday!
He apparently realised he cudnt live without me and all the usual speel! I had my doubts but asked for total honesty if we were to move forward! Guess what.. he kept lying but this time he admitted it before I had to get to the point of quizzing him!
We basically split up because I don’t like his mates all bunch of kids (22,23,24) and we are both nearly 29! The day he got in touch with me in July he had phoned in sick at work and was doing drugs!
Ever since I got pregnant last time I have been paranoid and I know he has too. And when I done test this time I done it for my own sanity thinking it would come back negative! But it didn’t!
I messaged my ex straight away as I believed he had a right to no and I knew he didn’t believe me, But I got a message saying I’d have his support 100% because he cudnt have an abortion this time round!
I went to the drs and it was confirmed and tbh we have argued ever since! He didn’t have a good childhood and has no real role models or guidance. I was accused of getting everything I wanted and how I was really excited about being pregnant and not freaking out! How he didn’t feel special as he was a means to an end!!
I have always wanted children but I wanted to be married and settle in my career etc!
Last year my mam was diagnosed with Cancer and the guilt of the abortion I had 9months before was too much and I did Regret my decision Incase worse case scenario with my mam! I went Bk into counselling and realised it was just my gut reaction to the current situation!
Anyways my ex won’t give me his permission for a termination I know it isn’t needed but it is our baby and our decision and I believe it’s something we both need to agree too!
He has told me if I have it then he will pay CSA which is fair enough but he won’t do anything else other than the days agreed etc! Which I don’t think is right! We have just had another argument over it where apparently we hate each other (a different story to the week before I found out I was pregnant were we were going to try be friends) and it is just way it has to be! I told him that I was considering adoption because I want my child to have a family and love. Not to just be something transactional as according to him we just hav to be single parents with no dialogue! Because that doesn’t mess anyone up!
I just don’t know what to do anymore, knowing my ex this will all change in time and he will apologise and realise he has just lashed out etc but time isn’t really something that is on my side!
I never believed I could have one abortion let alon two! But I don’t know if I can also carry my baby for 9months and then hand it over to someone else!
I can’t be a single parent, I barely get a grand a month I was planning on going Bk to uni in sept to complete my PGCE I live at home and a carer for my mam! I have two brothers and a sister, my brother lives in London and the other barely manages to look after his own kid! My sister is also pregnant with her second child! I have no real support or people to babysit etc
His family are waste of time too!
How do people manage to be a single parent? It’s something I never ever wanted to be (don’t think anyone does)
My ex has now blocked me and told me he wants nothing to do with me again!
I need some advice
Xxxx