When did you tell your mum?

[AliBunny]

Hi everyone

Am having a bit of a dilemma- currently 4+5 and only me, my husband and our GP know..

I really want to tell my mum (on the phone tonight) but I'm scared it will jinx things. Also, am conscious she had some really tough pregnancy experiences (3 x MC and 2x still births before having me) so it may bring up mixed emotions for her so early.
I know that if anything bad happens I would want to talk to her... but for some reason a niggling part of me is saying I should wait a few more weeks..

What do you think and what did you do?

I didn't tell mine or any of my family until after the 12 week scan. My partner knew obviously

It's a very personal decision but I waited until after the dating scan. I knew she'd be very excited and didn't like the thought of having to deal with her disappointment as well as my own grief if things didn't progress.

Well, if you’d want to turn to her for support if things aren’t going to plan, you might as well let her know.
I told my mum, sister and one friend as soon as I found out. As to not jinx it, I didn’t buy pregnancy books till after a successful scan at 7 weeks and won’t be telling others till the second trimester.

Depends on you, this pregnancy and your mum there is no rift or wrong answer to this.

I waited a matter of days each time to talked to mine and when things went wrong at the scan it was so glad I had her in the loop to talk my feelings through but also for her to distract me when I needed that too and be here for DP who also needed support but didn't want to talk about it

First pregnancy about 10 mins after the positive test...

Our relationship has since disintegrated so when I got pregnant again I didn't tell her, ended in a miscarriage

This pregnancy think I will wait until after the 12 week scan
And then it's only a formality on my part really!

If our relationship was better then I would like to think I would tell her quite early on and she could potentially support me through the exhaustion and morning sickness etc?
Depends what your mother is like I think??!

Immediately each time. We have had a mc, a tfmr and a healthy DS.
I told DH (obv), my parents, MIL and a few close friends and co workers each time.
In your circumstances I can understand your reticence, but if you are close, tell her, you’ll need her if anything goes wrong. She’ll understand.
All the best with your pregnancy

I was Day 24 on my cycle so perhaps slightly premature and I'd already told my sister at the point!!

Then told her (after internal scan following a little bleed) at 5+4 that it was twins.

She lives abroad and flew in for my scan at 8+5, agreed that it was still a bit early to tell people. Then found out she'd put a scan photo into the 100s of Christmas cards she sent out. Safe to say we did everything a bit early.

As it turns out, I had the babies at 27 weeks, again my mum flew home to support us whilst they were in NICU. She'd have wanted to be involved- good or bad - so don't regret telling her so early.

thanks guys for all of your advice. It's so true - everyone is so different.

Think I'm going to try and keep it quiet for another week or 2 before breaking the news 😊

First pregnancy, I originally thought to wait till 12 weeks but couldn't actually visit her without telling her so she knew almost immediately. With this pregnancy, again in told her straight away, only waited long enough for DH to come home to tell him first.

I told my mum straight away as i came downstairs crying from the shock haha. Now 15+2 and we are all unbelievably happy

My mum always knows before I tell her! I genuinely say nothing and she always knows. She says my face shape and body changes, I’m more tired and I get broodier etc. She’s said it’s because of loads of stuff but I think mums just know sometimes!

10 weeks after an early scan, like you we didn't want to tempt fate before then

BigBaboon my mum had no clue and was mega shocked (had wanted a grandchild for years). My dad, however, said he had a funny feeling but couldn't pin point why

We told both sets of parents at about 8 weeks when we had a private scan. I was so exhausted in the first trimester, that I thought they might guess and wanted to actually tell them. Plus it was my 30th coming up and I knew full well that if I wasn't drinking, they would immediately guess why. Don't regret telling them before the dating scan at all.

Immediately every time.

I think it’s so personal though. For me, I am close to myMum and wanted her support whatever happens. She had more than her fair share of miscarriages as well as successful pregnancies so I knew she would understand. plus I wanted to talk about it and DH is a bit hopeless at that - doesn’t really get excited until the birth and also doesn’t really understand my quite severe anxiety.

My mum was the first person I told, even before my partner.... I walked downstairs holding the test as I had Just done it! She burst out crying and gave me a hug!
I had to tell someone lol partner was at work!!

I told my mum after our early (private) scan. I was a bit worried about telling her, she had suffered miscarriages and she sometimes says things that come across a bit harsh, but she sounded absolutely delighted for us.
MIL can't keep a secret to save her life, so we'll be telling them next week after our dating scan.

I told mine at 13 weeks, I gave her a picture of the dating scan in the card, which she loved. I’d told my sister a few weeks before, and my mum and I had gone wedding dress shopping at 10 weeks, so it was really hard not to let the cat out of the bag, but having seen close friends go through miscarriage I really wanted to wait until after the scan.

7 weeks ish...only because my five year old found out & was going round telling people 'mummy has a baby in her tummy you know' 🙄

I told my mum soon after I knew. No one else until after the 13 week scan.

We told our parents early on this time round after miscarriage, only because we saw someone that would tell in the doctors.

It’s entirely up to you, no right or wrong.

Congratulations 🙂

We found out this morning (ahhh!) and plan to tell parents (both mine and the in laws) next weekend. We'll be seeing them all then, and I'd rather they knew before I try to spend Christmas making excuses not to drink... Plus, I'd rather be able to talk to my mum if anything goes wrong.

I don't think we'll tell our brothers for a few more weeks though.

We went to stay with my parents at 6 weeks and told them just before we got there. I was already sicky and mum would have totally guessed anyway.
We then stayed with OH parents at 11 weeks but had already had a scan so told them as we got there. We are both close to our families and a) I couldn't hide the sickness b) both mums would have supported us through anything needed. 18'weeks now.

I'm not telling my mum until after 12 week scan and/or harmony test results. I am happy enough with this as it feels like there will be less disappointment to manage if there is a miscarriage or termination for medical reasons.

However, the principal reason is that DH insists on equal treatment of our mothers and I can't cope with the additional anxiety of MIL knowing right now. Along with the additional pressure to produce a healthy grandchild, she will undoubtedly have strong opinions about what I eat, how I sleep, naming the baby, cutting back on work etc etc...