Alone

[Rosieposie85]

I have met the man of my dreams. I really have. We are trying for a baby and have been since September
I am cervical cancer survivor and I'm under no illusion it's going to be plain sailing.
However my biggest hurdle is I lost Mum last year, and my Dad 11 years ago. My sister and I are far from close. How am I going to do this without mum. Who's going to give me advice on feeding and bathing? All the little things we actually don't really know. I'm quite frightened.
I know my partner will be amazing. But just some things I think a girl needs her mum for.

I've also lost my mum and am NC with my dad and my other family are 2 brothers and a sister in law, who until a couple of months ago lived overseas.
I won't lie, its hard wanting your mum (you never grow out of that), but with a supportive partner you will cope.
When I was pregnant, DD is 13 months, I spent a lot of time on mumsnet and Reddit, and went to my NHS antenatal classes which were mostly useful.
If its something you can afford, maybe consider an NCT class also
And good luck, you'll muddle through like i am!

Not quite the same here, but similar worries. I spoke to my midwife and health visitor and they’ve been fab. They are going to connect me with Homestart so a volunteer mum comes each week to see me, signed me up to classes, and promised to be there at each stage for me. I’m thinking of dropping in on some mums and baby groups a couple of weeks before my due date to get to know them (and keep myself occupied). Here is great for info. Also I walked into Mothercare on a quiet evening the other week and said ‘help, I know nothing . . . ‘ and they talked me through their prams, cots, car seats, sterilisers, etc. Then invited me to their expectant mums event where there were fab talks and 10% off. Whether you buy or not, the help was amazing. Also nurses will look after you in hospital and make sure you’re happy before you leave. Still scary, but info wise there’s some bits out there.

I was in a similar situation when I had my eldest. My mum had died 3 years previously and I lived a long way from my hometown and had no friends with children. My Dad had remarried and we weren't close anymore. I found the online support amazing and I made friends at pregnancy yoga and through NCT classes. I still missed my Mum dreadfully but I got through it and I did make some excellent friends both in real life and online who I'm still friends with 12 years later. You got this!

Thank you.
All advice greatly received. Xx

I don't know what your budget is but you could look into hiring a doula either for the birth or post natally or both. If you find the right person a doula can be a wonderful source of help and advice.

I found that doing antenatal classes and lots of reading (books and online) answered my questions and if not then the midwives and health visitors were available too.

I think it's more emotional support I'm concerned about. Yes Jack will be amazing. But it's the who so I speak to when my boobs are sore...who's going to insist I hand the baby over and nap. Just need to get through it