So me and dp agreed not to find out.. Had said all along. Even at 20 week scan we said no. Anyway long story short. We had a bad run of luck the last few months hassle from his ex ( not happy we're having a dc together so caused issues with him seeing his dd) so he took her to court and won as they saw thro her..
Then a few financial problems which sorted luckily within a few weeks as was a bacbk hiccup but caused a silly amount of worry.
And general stuff with my DS being bullied at school and fighting back.
So has been pretty pants since August time.
Which has overshadowed the excitement of the long awaited pregnancy.
I felt it was just a process, a list to buy... Or couldn't feel attached, even tho I could feel kicks etc it don't feel real.
Anyway after being put back on antidepressants as I've struggled so bad. And opening up to dp. He said if makes me happy and makes it feel more real than we can find out on our 4d scan
Which I'm excited about all of a sudden.. But feel guilty that we had originally agreed not to. I don't want him to feel like he should just say it to make me happy.
Maybe it's my hormones or the stress etc but either way I feel bad either I feel I've let dp down or bad that I don't feel attachment to the bump or anything