How do we afford this?

[CrimsonKitten]

Hi all.

I had my first scan yesterday and suddenly everything became super real. My boyfriend and I are truly excited, but there is a looming sense of anxiety about affordability.

I'm 2 months into an 18 month apprenticeship and being just over 3 months pregnant means I can't get maternity pay from the employer. I know I can get it from the government, but being an apprentice and only earning £3.50 an hour, my pay would be the 90% and not the full £140 a week.

This would be okay, if my boyfriend's mum hasn't just asked us to leave the home she invited me to live in. Apparantly feels I am uncomfortable in the house and sadly, this is true. The family (my boyfriend, his mum, his teenage brother and his elderly godmother) argue constantly and I often find myself hiding away to avoid conflict. Being faced with homelessness is actually helping our situation as now we can go to the council but this isn't the way I wanted things to work. We knew wed have to find elsewhere to live in time as we currently sleep in the cold and damp conservatory (it's a 3 bed house and my boyfriend drew the short straw) which isn't okay for a baby. But we'd hope to do it in our own time once we were able to save up a bit, but she wants us out now.

What makes this sadder is she doesn't know about the baby. We were planning a huge fun reveal after getting the scan photos and now feel it would be super awkward after they have had this fall out. She's been pestering about grandchildren for 4 years...

The main thing I'm concerned about is how we can afford to look after ourselves as well as a baby with just one nmw income and a low maternity pay and how it won't get easier once I'm back at work as I'll have to go back to £3.50 an hour whilst also paying for childcare...

I don't know whether to forget my apprenticeship and take on a temp job until May. I know no employer would accept a 14 week pregnant women but I literally can't see how I can carry on with this course...

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

You might find it helpful to make an appointment with CAB and see what your entitlements will be to benefits, tax credits etc. Once you know where you are with things it might be clearer if continuing with the apprenticeship is do-able. Good luck.

I would say the same - make an appointment to find out about benefits. Also have a look if your boyfriend can do overtime to save up for the baby a bit.

In your position, I wonder if it might be good for you to carry on so that you can get a qualification? (is that how it works?) You'll be able to do another few months now and will only have a few more months to complete it once the baby has been born.

Also, I know it's stressful at the moment but a conservatory is no place for a family to live so hopefully it'll work out better for you with a council flat or something.

No real advice but all I can say is that it honestly does all work out in the end!

My partner and myself discovered we was pregnant with our first child whilst living in a house share. I was earning peanuts at a part time job and my partner wasn't exactly 'doing well' money wise either. We had no savings, shocking credit rating and generally wasn't planning to have a baby just yet.

From finding out we was pregnant to having the baby, by some sheer miracle, we'd saved enough for a deposit and first months rent on a two bed flat, managed to buy every single piece of furniture (brand new!) and everything for the baby. It was tough and it was tight, but we managed. Somehow.

13 weeks after little one was born we discovered we're pregnant again. I'm now 7 weeks away from baby number two joining our family so we'll have two babies in one year and once again, the money worry is starting to creep in. But I'm keeping positive.

Save. Save. Save.

Even little things like not buying make up, switching to cheaper washing detergents, not having that takeaway on a Friday night. You'd be surprised just how much money can be wasted on pointless things.

I received the 90% Maternity payment from the government and like I said, we made it work. It'll be tough going for a while but you'll be ok x

Oh, and do look in to what benefits you're entitled to, too!

It's taken us far too long to realise we can claim almost £600 a month in universal credits - our rent is £725 a month so you can imagine how much that will help out.
We're currently in the process of sorting all that out and hoping it'll take effect before this baby arrives.

Don't feel bad about claiming benefits. I did. For ages. But then I realised if I'm entitled to it, why are we not making a claim?!

You do make it work. This will be unpopular, but don't immediately rely on benefits just because you can.

Remember you don't have to take the full maternity leave, this wont be a popular suggestion but you can go back early. I went back to work when DD was 3 months old (this was back in the 90s, pre paid maternity leave) because I was the main breadwinner and my DH worked night shifts / weekends so childcare was minimal and affordable.

There is ways around childcare, yes shift work / evening work / weekend is not great for family life but it does have it's merits on childcare affordability and it's not forever. And it does mean there is more money!

Congratulations OP! How exciting. I would make a visit to CAB too as the others have said. They can explain what you'll be entitled to.

I'd think long and hard about giving up the apprenticeship though. They can be excellent qualifications and you've done really well to get on a programme. If you're going to be a bit skint either way at first (which I will be too!), I'd focus on the long term benefits of the apprenticeship vs casual work.

My DH is on NMW. Just thinking - your apprenticeship would really be worth completing if you can. Any way he can work evenings - supermarket or something and you work days on your apprenticeship so childcare is minimal?

We survive on DH working days and me working evenings. Some evenings I have to leave for work before DH gets home so we just get a babysitter in for an hour or so to cover the gap.

It's tough, but some how you'll make it work

It's great you are on an apprenticeship to learning a useful skill. (How long is the apprenticeship?)

When the baby is born, could you and your partner take shared parental leave? I.e. you 'donate' him some of your maternity leave. So you only take one month or two months at the very beginning. Allowing him to stay home for a further 10 months maximum (some of this would be unpaid if statutory paternity leave), while you continue on your apprenticeship. Money would be tight, I'm not sure if it's financially viable but you would continue to learn your skill and in the future be in a better qualified position.

Hi all. Thanks for the advice. I've finally talked to the qualification assessors and they have a plan for me to complete my physical training while I can then do the coursework during maternity so I will keep to it. The course is 18 months long by the way.

I've been on benefits before and I loathe it with a passion but I'll definately look into it. We both currently work our maximum hours - he's a hospital receptionist and I'm a nursery practitioner so weekends and shift work are no go's unfortunately, plus he won't let me work anymore than the 40 hours I'm already doing.

As for saving on luxuries... I don't remember the he last time I treated myself to anything, my abusive ex ensured I never had a penny to spend. Everything I buy is bought out of necessity - mostly to keep my car running and my phone connected.

The main concern is finding affordable housing, especially when living in a very expensive city. As I said, it would be okay if we were to stay here without the worry of bills and such but we simply cannot remain here and so our already high outgoings will easily double when living alone - I have lived independently before, hense why I now have literally no money...