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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sonographer said 'he' when we didn't want to know...

40 replies

Fuzzyduck21 · 15/11/2017 09:06

Had 20wk scan yesterday and she referred to the baby as he on two or three occasions. I thought it may have been because I was referring to it as a he but then other times she referred to it as baby! We found out what we were having with ds and wanted this to be a surprise but now I feel she slightly gave the game away and I'm a bit disappointed that I think I know (Not disappointed with the prospect of another ds). I asked at the end if she knew as I thought she may not know and may just refers to babies as he but she said she did know which made me feel even more sure she'd just let it slip! I guess it'll still be a bit of a surprise as we don't know for sure but I can't help feeling a bit deflated... on the plus side it'll push us to look more into boys names of which we have none! Has this happened to any one else? She said she had been doing it 25 years which makes me even more surprised!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sarahh2014 · 15/11/2017 09:08

V out of order in nooks and stuff they refer to baby as 'she' I know that much but saying he implies she messed up and told you id be peed off for sure

Sarahh2014 · 15/11/2017 09:08

*books

hollowtree · 15/11/2017 09:11

Maybe sometimes they just use one gender so they are not saying "it"? Could they be the case?

missjulia · 15/11/2017 09:12

I think there are far worse things that could've happened at your 20 week scan.

Original poster

Fuzzyduck21 · 15/11/2017 09:14

Yes of course missjulia and I am overjoyed all is well

OP posts:

LaCerbiatta · 15/11/2017 09:15

Was the sonographer foreign? in many languages the word for baby is male.

Original poster

Fuzzyduck21 · 15/11/2017 09:16

Yes that's what I am thinking maybe they just call them all he or she by default! I was calling it he so may have led her. All being well we will find out for sure in around 20 wks ☺

OP posts:

2018babyonboard · 15/11/2017 09:16

I remember at my 20w scan the first time the sonagrapher kept saying ‘he’ then at the end asked us if we wanted to know the sex, dp said ‘well I’m guessing it’s a boy!’ she was a little girl and the sonographer said she always says ‘he’ rather than ‘it’ or ‘baby’ she knew she was a girl!

Original poster

Fuzzyduck21 · 15/11/2017 09:17

No she was english. My 2 year old told me it was a boy last night too haha x

OP posts:

Original poster

Fuzzyduck21 · 15/11/2017 09:18

2018 that's what I'm wondering! Thank you for making me feel like it'll still be a surprise either way :)

OP posts:

DontDrinkDontSmoke · 15/11/2017 09:23

Same happened to me. Baby, baby, baby then halfway through changed to he. I was really disappointed.

Had a girl. Sonographer turned out to be a twisted arsehole. Who knew.

Actually at the time I was so happy with my lot it didn’t bother me too much but looking back it’s a shitty thing to do to first time expectant mother’s.

DontDrinkDontSmoke · 15/11/2017 09:24

That apostrophe wasn’t me by the way. I have crappy over zealous autocorrect

longestlurkerever · 15/11/2017 09:26

Our sonographer said "she" - it was ok because we wanted to know but when she said "you said she, is it a girl? She denied having said it and denied ever having used he or she in her whole career (quite snappily) Then she did it again! Dh and i just looked at each other. At the end she confirmed she thought it was a girl. That probably doesn't help you, sorry, but it still could have been reflex to avoid "it". knowing we were having another girl was lovely - I genuinely had no preference but loved picking out a little outfit, thinking of names and telling dd1 she was having a sister. I find having to keep two "maybes" in my head quite draining. But I guess we're all different.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 15/11/2017 09:59

I always default to 'he' - I don't know why but I think a lot of people do. Maybe it's because I'm a lawyer and legal agreements and textbooks default to 'he'. Or maybe it's because my first baby was a 'he'. I don't think I'm the only person who defaults to 'he' and I really wouldn't read too much into it!

BigBaboonBum · 15/11/2017 10:01

The sonographer at our hospital calls them she from the first scans, when they couldn’t possibly know! I think some prefer to say he or she rather than ‘they’ or ‘it’ because it seems a little more respectful. I had two boys after all those ‘she’ scans!

GlitterRollerSkate · 15/11/2017 10:48

My sonographer said he and we didn't want to know. Was utterly pissed off.. I now have a 2 year old girl...

Rebeccaslicker · 15/11/2017 11:56

Our sonographers all said he even when we'd said it was a girl! I wouldn't read too much into it!

sycamore54321 · 15/11/2017 12:59

I know some prenatal healthcare people like to say "he" to avoid "it" and to more clearly distinguish from the mother - "his heartbeat... Now the scan shows his bladder...etc" where there could be confusion otherwise.

You really can't interpret what the sonography said in any meaningful way. Maybe she knew it was a boy and that's why she said it, despite you not wanting to know - although this would be pretty strange, right? Or maybe she knew it was a girl and wanted to throw you off - again pretty strange. Or maybe she is just a human using an imperfect communication style where none of the options are ideal - can't use he/she if parents don't want to know, "it" sounds a little disrespectful

Don't think too much of it. You still do not know the sex of your baby. Even if it will be a boy, you will never know if the sonographer knew or not.

LynseyLou1982 · 15/11/2017 14:48

My sonographer also said 'he' at my 20 week scan even though we said we wanted a surprise. Only time will tell I suppose. 15 weeks 6 days to go.

BikeRunSki · 15/11/2017 14:53

Our hospital just says “he”for all babies unless you ask.

LynseyLou1982 · 15/11/2017 15:11

My sonographer also said 'he' at my 20 week scan even though we said we wanted a surprise. Only time will tell I suppose. 15 weeks 6 days to go.

MagicFajita · 15/11/2017 15:14

My sonographer also said "he" , when I asked why she said it was to avoid saying "it" and that she didn"t know the baby's sex yet as she hadn't seen.

Shiela2017 · 15/11/2017 15:25

You've got healthy baby. You have nothing to be upset about

Snowdog37 · 15/11/2017 16:03

My sonographer said at our 8w, 12w and 20w appointments that she always calls the baby “he” as she hates “it” and not to read anything into it. Unless we wanted an actual gender diagnosis in which case she would look at the necessary body parts at the appropriate scan and tell us that first. We opted not to find out until our blood tests, she called the baby he, it didn’t bother us at all as she had explained to us right from the start she says he. As it turned out baby is a he. She never gave it away though.

SkafaceClaw · 15/11/2017 16:04

The sonographer used she through one of my growth scans. At the end they asked if I knew what I was having and when I said no, looked a little shocked...

She the said oh we don’t know either but it was a bit strange as she kept looking at the student next to her. After that was sure it was a girl - however we had a very jolly boy!

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