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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

There's no respect for pregnant ladies anymore!

41 replies

Mog · 20/07/2004 17:58

I had a rare day to myself on Saturday and went shopping for an outfit for my sister's wedding. It was probably a mistake to go on a Saturday as there were queues for every changing room and till point I seemed to go to. I'm 32 weeks pregnant and though not huge I definitely look pregnant. So why in all this queue waiting did no-one suggest I could go in front of them. Only one lady did in the queue for the toilet in M&S and the ladies in front of her ignored me!

Must admit I'm pregnant and angry at the moment but has anyone else noticed this?

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bundle · 20/07/2004 18:08

yup. people are weird.

also - small plea for pg women to be out there so that they don't get overlooked: I was daydreaming on the bus the other day and only noticed a woman was pg when I saw her medical notes in a see-thru folder...silly moo had a big baggy coat on (I did stand up for her). i used to wear bright tops, coat unbuttoned when i was pg

PotPourri · 20/07/2004 18:18

I have to get the tube into central london and in this weather it's hideous. And more times than not I do not get a seat, and no one gives up their seat for me. I stick my tum out as much as I can and do all the pregnancy related stuff like rubbing my back and sighing etc. But to no avail. I have not yet done so, but have a plan that if I feel faint I will just ask someone for their seat and say I am pregnant. I am suffering from dizziness so think I may have to do this very soon. Rant over, but I think I need to take more responsiblity for asking for a seat...

I agree that it feels really horrible - mostly due to my over emotional pregnancy hormones, but also because getting chucked around on the Picadilly line is a little bit scary when you feel vulnerable like us pregnant ladies do...

sponge · 20/07/2004 18:39

I have to disagree actually. I get the Piccadilly line every morning and I think only one day in the last month have I not been offered a seat. It sometimes takes a couple of stops so I can get into a position where I can be seen, so you do need to do a bit of pushing, but someone always stands up. I am 38 weeks now so pretty damn obvious but I've found people to be quite decent about it overall.

bundle · 20/07/2004 18:41

girls, i am also a piccadilly line traveller, please carry a copy of the FT so I can identify you..of course I will obviously standing up for any bumps, anyway

highlander · 20/07/2004 19:08

I get really pissed off when people offer me a seat - I'm preggers, not disabled

maisystar · 20/07/2004 19:19

i used to travel regularly by tarin (a 1 1/2 -2 hr journey) when i was 6 months pregnant and never got offered a seat. used to arrive in tears

now do the same journey regulalrly with ds, we often have to sit on the floor and only once has someone offered their seat.

god it makes me

prettycandles · 20/07/2004 19:45

When I was 8m pg with ds I was on a very crowded bus on a sweltering August day and a tiny old lady got up and offered me her seat. And I mean old! Out of the question - no way was I going to take her seat! Though I was as polite as I possible could be about it. I think it took another 2 stops in pointed silence and not looking at anyone from both the old lady and me, before one of the 3 strapping great young men sitting around her actually got up and offered me his seat.

Buses were usually the worst for me, but most of the time I got a seat on the tube...even if it meant sticking my bump in someone's face.

Trifle · 20/07/2004 19:50

Highlander - I hope you are a little more gracious when people offer you a seat and dont shoot their well-meaning intentions down in flames.

OldieMum · 20/07/2004 19:53

Highlander - I doubt that anyone thought you were disabled by pregnancy. They were just trying to be considerate. I hated travelling on the tube when pregnant and was always glad when someone offered me a seat. I am amazed that anyone could be offended by this. But if some people get upset by being offered a seat, perhaps that is why others are reluctant to do it.

Lisa78 · 20/07/2004 20:02

Ooh Highlander! Hope you said that tongue in cheek, I offer my seat to a pg woman everytime, but I'd be really upset if my offer was turned down!

MeanBean · 20/07/2004 20:07

Frankly I'd be happy to go back to the days when all men offered all women a seat. Who cares whether it means they think you're disabled? You'd be sitting down!!! Although I suspect that they only offered women seats because there weren't that many women travelling at the times they were, so the question didn't arise as often.

When I was pregnant, I noticed that it was always the most established, sleek looking businessmen who didn't offer their seats, and the younger suits or workmen who did. Just anecdotal, and not a scientifically selected survey group!

pollyanna · 20/07/2004 20:18

When I was really heavily pregnant last time I was sitting on a bus and 2 really old ladies (with walking sticks) got on. after a bit I was the only person who stood up for them. All the youngsters stayed sitting even with me glaring at them!!

No one ever stood up for me when I was travelling into work - people on the tube used to mysteriously be asleep whenever I was there!. now I am just about visibly pregnant (although could be mistaken for fat!!) and no one helps me on or off the bus with my buggy, 16mo and 3 year old (plus bags and assorted debris). No one stands up for elderly people either. It is pretty bad manners imo.

prettycandles · 20/07/2004 20:41

How preggers are you, Highlander? Have your pubic bones started separating and grinding against each other yet? What about your lower back? Breathless? Swollen feet? Morning sickness come back? Knackered?

I may not have been disabled, but I was certainly grateful for any seat offered.

Original poster

Mog · 20/07/2004 20:44

Pollyanna, you sound in the same situation as me. I've got a three year old, 18 month old and third baby due in September. Now that I'm getting big and heavy and tired I'm starting to panic at how I'll cope with three!

OP posts:

NomDePlume · 20/07/2004 20:55

Talk about pregnant and angry !!! I'm sure highlander was being flippant...

pollyanna · 20/07/2004 21:00

Mog, I'm the typical picture of a harrassed mother, hair all over the place, child in buggy screaming, 2 walking (and bickering) and me screeching at them all!! You do manage though and it's fine (well even good sometimes!).

Twiglett · 20/07/2004 21:00

message withdrawn

dejags · 20/07/2004 21:15

This time round I haven't really had this problem - people have given up their seat willingly - must agree that men in suits are particularly adept at averting their eyes leaving it up to others to offer though.

When I was pregnant first time round I was more reliant on the tube - by the time I was heavily pregnant and the old pubic bones were grinding and I couldn't bear to stand a second longer I actually announced (on a number of occasions) that unless somebody was going to give up their seat I might faint and delay the whole train/tube - this normally resulted in more offers than I could handle and a couple of red faces (talk about pregnant and aggressive )

My latest bugbear is the people who sigh heavily behind me in the supermarket queue - I can't help the fact that it takes me a bit longer to get the shopping out of the trolley and then re-packed into trolley after its been scanned... the woman behind me yesterday was getting positively huffy about it - just made me go even slower

Long live chivalry - pregnant woman deserve a seat, of only there were more men out there who agreed...

beansprout · 20/07/2004 21:18

Excellent idea on the priority seat Twiglett!! I am 29 weeks (and big for dates, but don't tell the annoying people who keep saying I am big for dates!!!!) and have not been offered a seat yet, although would be grateful for one if offered. I had to stand today and it was not nice!

Flossam · 20/07/2004 21:51

I had one nice chap stand up for me (all of a stop early for him, but at least he did) yesterday! I was so grateful, sat there for a while worrying I hadn't shown him how much! I get the tube home from work after 12 and a half hour days, running around all day and I admit that I am finding it hard work. Although I'm travelling out of peak hours the tubes seem much busier than usual and this was the first time anyone was willing.

Have to admit though I haven't asked anyone to stand up for me, I don't have the guts...maybe give me another couple of months!

muminlondon · 21/07/2004 09:39

I found that when I was pregnant it was ALWAYS young women who would offer me a seat on trains. I started to get very anti-men. However, once I had a baby in buggy, it all balanced up again because more men (suited or not) would help me on and off the train or bus. But it was embarassing a few weeks ago when a suited man kindly offered me a seat think I was pregnant when I was just slouching and sticking my untoned belly out... hope I didn't put him off offering to a 'real' pg woman!

Pidge · 21/07/2004 09:52

Well it is nice to be offered a seat, and generally I find people are pretty good. I do remember being a bit mortified last time round when offered a seat by someone on the tube when I was 6 months pregant and had that day returned from a walking holiday in the Lake District, hiking up mountains, clambering over boulders etc. Still, I think the thing to do is accept with good grace.

Most annoying is that I find it's the first 3 months when you need a seat most, just when you're feeling sick 24 hours a day and exhausted beyond belief, and that's exactly when you've got no hope of getting any sympathy or attention.

ggglimpopo · 21/07/2004 09:55

Message withdrawn

sponge · 21/07/2004 09:58

You're right, it is mostly women who stand up, and Indian men for some reason IME.
Young men and especially suits rarely stand up.
I do think women just notice more though. Men tend to get on, sit down and bury themselves in their paper. Women like to look around occasionally and see what's going on, so they spot us big birds. I've had quite a few people apologise for not noticing sooner though, even men.
Highlander, I have to assume that you're not that pg yet. Admittedly at 6 months I went skiing so could hardly claim to "need" a seat, but now at 38 weeks I find it pretty hard to stand for any length of time.
If someone offers a seat I always take unless they look even less able to stand than me or I'm about to get off. Otherwise I think it's a bit rude to slap down their consideration.

sponge · 21/07/2004 10:01

Pidge, I sometimes got a seta in the eraly weeks by hanging onto the overhead rail, sweating profusley and then sitting on the floor to avoid fainting. Dramatic but effective.
Trouble is I think people assume you're hung over rather than pregnant.

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