I don't want this baby.

[user1498205994]

I have two children DS (3) & DD (2) and a SS (11).

I have been out of work for four years due to pregnancy and raising my two children. My DP has just found me a job within his company, I went for the interview & got it! I've sorted out childcare already, I got the call on Monday to say the job was mine.

I've been a bit crabby, 2 Days before periods due I thought I should take a test - even though all precautions have been used - there's no mistaking those two lines.

I can't help but think I was just about to get my life back, money was going to be better for us, I could give my two children more holidays/outings. We could afford to live better and now I'm pregnant and my partner is jumping around the house and I'm sat here feeling so deflated.

Baby is due 2nd July - I won't be paid maternity leave, another child to pay childcare for. What do I do!? My partner says I can do what I feel best and I feel sick at thought of abortion after having miscarriages previously and knowing how gutting those were for me.

I'm worried how my other two children will adjust to a new little person. Also with me working full time and having to then split my limited time between four children!? Help

Sorry, don't have any experience at all as I don't have kids yet, but didn't want to read and run. Check out your eligibility for maternity allowance, it pays the same as smp but you apply for it directly rather than your employer sorting it out for you. It pays £140.98 for 39 weeks, so could help if you decide it's right for you to continue. I wish you all the best.

I'd go and talk all my options through with someone neutral.

DS3 was unexpected, but in the end I wanted to have the baby enough that all the barriers were- just- surmountable. I would terminate were I to become pregnant again, for many, many reasons (which include impact on the children we have, DH really not wanting another child under any circumstances, me not feeling physically or emotionally up to it again, the huge financial impact it would have on us all for a long time, etc).

The choice you make is the right choice. It's fine to make either choice.