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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Bad news at NT scan - terrified

27 replies

PatsyStone39 · 02/11/2017 17:24

Hi Ladies,

Could I please have a bit of a hand hold.

I'm currently 13 weeks 4 days and went for my 12 week scan this morning. It all started out positively - baby looked good, the heartbeat was detected and was absolutely fine (4 valves all working fine) all limbs looked good, as did nuchal fold - then the midwife became concerned.

Apparently there was a very slight fluid in the skull and the head was measuring larger than the torso. The baby was measuring about 6 days behind. She also mentioned the bloods I had done at the GP were way off. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to ask exact figures - my head was all over the place. I'm also currently living outside the UK and I find people have difficulty with my accent and at times I go a bit mute because of this.

Anyway, I saw a consultant who was also concerned and straight away did a cvs; saying i was highly likely to have a chromosomal defect. I am terrified! I've gone from being low risk last week to this.

I think i'm most scared of being told next week there is something wrong, to terminate, and what this will entail. At over 14 weeks i'll have to medically give birth in a hospital, won't I?

I should add we've been in fertility treatment for 5 years and this was my first pregnancy. The thought of going through that again.... sigh

Any reassurance good or bad will be welcomed. I just need to know what may be in store for the next few weeks.

OP posts:

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Howaboutanotherusername · 02/11/2017 17:32

i have no advice i’m sorry but i couldn’t read and run so i’m offering a hand hold and a big virtual hug x

SaltK · 02/11/2017 17:34

Hi OP, I can't offer any advice, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, especially outside of the UK, feeling like it's hard to ask all the questions you'd like to. This must be particularly hard to take after 5 years of fertility treatment. You must be so frightened. I've not been through anything like this, hopefully someone will come along soon with a bit more knowledge. I hope it doesn't take long for your results to come through, and I'll be hoping for a good outcome for you

DancingLedge · 02/11/2017 17:37

Oh Patsy I'm so sorry.
Will be thinking of you.

careerandfam · 02/11/2017 17:58

I don't have any advice i'm afraid but wanted to say i'll be thinking of you and hope everything turns out ok for you and baby xx

Rebeccaslicker · 02/11/2017 17:59

No advice from me but just wanted to send you a huge internet hug. Really hope they are wrong and thinking of you.

Santawontbelong · 02/11/2017 18:00

Nobody will tell you to terminate.

Original poster

PatsyStone39 · 02/11/2017 18:00

Thank you so much, everyone. I appreciate all your kindness and just being there. I've currently got my poker face on at home - both for my OH's sake and my own self-preservation. If i cry, i won't stop.

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ArkadyRose · 02/11/2017 18:03

Patsy, I'm really sorry you're having to face this. I don't know if it's much consolation to you, but a surgical termination can be carried out at up to 19 weeks, so you wouldn't have to medically give birth and it can be done under general anaesthetic if need be.

Original poster

PatsyStone39 · 02/11/2017 18:03

Santa, sorry, I didn't mean to imply that a termination would be forced upon me. I just meant that, if there was a chromosomal abnormality that was severe, for the sake of the child, i would be highly likely to make that choice myself.

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Original poster

PatsyStone39 · 02/11/2017 18:06

Arkadyrose, thank you. That knowledge is a little bit of reassurance to me. That's one less thing i can worry about this evening. x

OP posts:

Rachie1986 · 02/11/2017 18:10

No advice but thinking of you x

Justanothernap · 02/11/2017 18:11

No experience in this area so can't advise. But I'm sending you positive vibes over the Internet none the less. Really hope for a good outcome for you.

On a practical note, how long til your next appt? Could you write down some questions or take a native speaker to help out with the language barrier?

lampert · 02/11/2017 18:13

So sorry you have this enormous stress op. Wishing lots of positivity and a good outcome for you x

Original poster

PatsyStone39 · 02/11/2017 18:23

Justanothernap - Fortunately my partner was with me today and is a native speaker, but i think we were both too dazed to ask what we should have done. We'll be more clearheaded next time, i hope! I may write down some things to ask, just in case.

We don't actually have another appointment yet. The hospital is calling us with the results in around 7 days and we'll see what happens after that. I don't have the best of feelings about it though.

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Dmt80 · 02/11/2017 18:26

It's awful that you are going through this and I hope that it all works out, there have been women on here who have similar scares at the 12 week scan for it to be ok.

I have experience of being told bad news at a 16 week scan. I know one poster said your option is to have a surgical termination up to 19 weeks ( and I hope you do not need to even think about that) but I had a medical termination at 16 weeks. I was told its less physical trauma for the mum as the baby would have been too large - apparently the cut off was 13 weeks to have it surgically. Maybe it depends on the NHS Trust however as to what their practice is. I know it's hard but try not think too far ahead as you may be causing yourself needless distress.

Peanutty86 · 02/11/2017 18:34

I’m sorry to read what you’re going through. I don’t have any advice, but please bear in mind that it might end up being nothing.
My friend had a scare in both of her pregnancies because the head measured a lot bigger than the body, it adjusted itself and she has two healthy and happy boys.
There is still hope that things will be ok. Thinking of you.

puddleduckmummy · 02/11/2017 18:38

Again I have no advice, just offering another hand hold. It’s a lot to process and the next 7 days are going to be very very long but you have chance to talk things over with DH and be prepared for the next step as and when it comes. Hoping for a positive outcome for you xx

PanannyPanoo · 02/11/2017 19:06

Hi Patsy. So sorry to read your post. I have been through similar though in my case baby had a lot of fluid and my baby died before I had any decisions to make at 15 weeks I had a surgical d+e as a day patient and the procedure was ok.
However, right now at this moment you are pregnant with your little one. so cherish the moments now. I know of mums who have had totally healthy babies after nuchal fold issues, fluid and other problems picked up on the scan. Professionally I work with children with special needs so also have the wonderful job of working with children who do not have life as easy as some.

All you can do is make the best decisions you can with the information you have.
At the moment you can only wait for more information. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

notapizzaeater · 02/11/2017 19:12

Noth8ng I can say to help, but try not to dwell on it (easier said than done)

Cockmagic · 02/11/2017 19:14

Thinking of you op

MarmiteandToast · 02/11/2017 19:45

Patsy, I'm so sorry you are in this position. We had worrying news at 12 week scan although different and touch wood ok so far, so I can imagine you are beside yourself.

Thinking of you, everything crossed for you

Original poster

PatsyStone39 · 03/11/2017 12:27

Again, thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. You've all genuinely made the last 24 hours for me a little bit easier.

I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to answer last night or thank you individually but I haven't been too well after the cvs. Despite it being trans-abominable, i've started to bleed (I was told I wouldn't and that spotting was rare, too.) I'm now just resting and waiting to see which way the wind blows.

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Brenna24 · 03/11/2017 14:06

I have no advice but want to be here to hold your hand for a bit. I hope it all ends well. If it helps I have bled in every pregnancy I have had. 3 ended in miscarriages which were nothing to do with the bleeding (the baby died during phases when I wasn't bleeding and all seemed well), with this one I am now nearly through the second trimester despite the bleeding. Bleeding can be the sign of a problem, but it can also just be because your cervix or elsewhere is particularly prone to it. I hope this is the case for you.

DancingLedge · 03/11/2017 18:21

Hi Patsy, how are you doing? Continuing to think of you, and send you good wishes.
Don't feel you have to answer. Come on here and vent, rage, talk, in whatever way helps.
Some bits of life can be so hard, difficult and unfair.

Original poster

PatsyStone39 · 04/11/2017 09:08

Brenna I am so sorry to hear about your previous miscarriages but i'm pleased this little one is going strong. Bleeding through your pregnancy must be terrifying for you? My own bleeding seems to have stopped and it's now just intermittent pink spotting. I've been quite calm about it - probably because I wasn't in great pain, and well, there's not a lot I can do about anything.

DancingLedge Thank you for checking in on me. Knowing someone cares means the world to me.

I've been a bit numb the last 24 hours. My partner is still being very optimistic, primarily, i think, because we've been googling and seeing lots of positive outcomes for fluid around the brain and babies being smaller etc. But all of these women had only one or two markers - I had several red flags - and I just know in my heart that it's not good.

My head just keeps spinning with negativity: What will a termination be like, how will i tell the few people who know i was pregnant, what will i do on my due date (it's my birthday), can i put myself and my body through another fertility treatment? None of that really matters in the grand scheme of things.

I'm normally a really thick-skinned, resilient person - very little fazes me - and I know in time, i'll be "fine" but right now i feel really traumatised.

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