Does anybody wish they began ttc earlier?

[BillySmut56]

I ask because DP and I are currently discussing ttc, but have no plans to begin until at least a year from now for career reasons.

We are in our early to mid twenties, but have medical issues that may cause complications and delays. We don't want to regret leaving it too long, and are inclined towards starting sooner rather than later, so I'd like to hear other people's perspectives.

We've been TTC over a year now.
We first discussed it in a silly way about 3 years ago.
Part of me wishes we'd started then even though thr timing wasn't perfect.

DH says that sods law would have meant we got a baby first time.

No. We waited until we both really really wanted a baby. It then took 3 years TTC but it means we have had 0 doubts, 0 regrets, and we'd learned to argue well, got bored of clubbing, and seen the world which I think is in some ways more important than the extra cash we saved along the way.

I wish I'd begun later if that meant skipping the 3 years of heartbreak and looking at kids in school uniform thinking I should have one of those by now!

I wish I'd started earlier, I'm 34 and have had 3 mcs in the last 15 months. But I didn't plan on leaving my ex husband, meeting and marrying DH and becoming a stepmum and I wouldn't change any of that.

This is the man I want as the father of my DC and it's not going how we thought it would but we met when we met so I only really wish it had been a few years earlier! I hope it'll happen for us and I hope you know and agree what it's right for you to ttc and you get your baby easily and when you want him/her

Can you get some medical advice OP? I have ovarian cysts and endometriosis and my gynaecologist told me to start trying no later than 30 but a friend with fibroids in her uterus was told to start trying immediately (I think she was about 26 at the time).

I accidentally conceived ds when I had just turned 30 and right before we were about to start trying anyway - extremely lucky. But my friend couldn't follow the advice she was given (wasn't with the right man) and sadly can't have children now.

Ignoring everything else (life and stuff), your timetable might be dictated by how much you want kids and exactly what medical conditions you have.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore I've had some medical advice, but the most I've managed to get out of them is that if I want to have children it should be sooner rather than later. They are not exactly forthcoming on the topic, and its largely speculative because it's nothing is guaranteed, it might be fine, but it also might be impossible. I won't know until I try. Unfortunately I rather think it will be a case of my timetable being dictated by my condition. I have been told that I have an 80% chance of a successful pregnancy with daily medication, including injections. Without medication the chances don't even bear thinking about, less than 30% apparently the condition is progressive so I assume my ability to carry a child will lessen the older I get.

I came off the pill after over 10years and expected it would take us a while to conceive as neither of us had healthy lifestyles. I fell pregnant after just one month off of the pill and I now have 5week old DS at 27.

I'm glad I've done it now - looking at the industry I work in, I'd hit a ceiling and getting over that would have meant sacrificing a family for 6+ years. I was never too bothered about having children and definitely only wanted the one. Having had him, I've decided I want at least one more if not two and so I'm glad I haven't left it longer.

Dh and I met at 28/29 so ttc wasn’t on the cards till mid thirties. Got married at 34, I was pregnant by 35 very easily. I don’t regret that but I have found it physically hard and o wonder if I would have found it easier when a bit younger. They only other thing we’ve found hard is adjusting to such a different life after many years of being so able to be footloose and fancy free! I’m pregnant now at 40 and it’s definitely tougher. It’s a bit harder on our parents too as they really want to help (live a few hours away) but they’re quite elderly now. Our son has great relationships with them all; it would have been nice to give them all more time.

I suppose I’m glad we did the things we wanted to do when younger. We have good careers and a house etc. But we will be pretty old when they’re potentially wanting to have family which I sometimes think is a shame too.

So sorry @Nifflerbow, there are no words for how unfair your situation is.

OP, I spent a lot of the last year really regretting not trying sooner. My DH has wanted children for our whole relationship. They are just something he knew he needed in his life, whereas I spent a long time not knowing if I ever wanted them. We have been together nearly 11 years now and it was only the birthday before last (when I turned 27) that I had a sudden light switch moment and needed to have a baby. It was so crazy and not like me.

I fell pregnant twice last year very easily and lost them both and gave myself a very hard time for waiting; it compounded my guilt over making my DH wait so long, as if I were being punished for it too. He however had a change of heart (maybe he just said it to make me feel better) but he said if we had a baby when he had wanted we would never have been able to buy our own house which we did at 26, go on all those lovely holidays, or start his own business which he did the year before we started TTC. We tried again start of this year after having one last child-free new year skiing trip and I am now 38 and a half weeks pregnant. I am aware how lucky we are, but if I hadn’t been able to carry this baby to term, I could see my guilt getting worse, and I did regret not trying sooner.

The bottom line I think is every couple and their situation is different. If you try sooner and end up with a baby, as you clearly both seem to want this so badly, I don’t get the impression you would regret it happening soon.