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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

sex drive!

5 replies

glittercaz · 13/04/2007 16:47

bit embarrassing this but would appreciate your thoughts!

DH and I have always enjoyed a healthy sex life - I'd say his drive has always been a little higher than mine, but generally we're pretty well matched!

trouble is, since I've got pregnant my sex drive has completely plummeted. in the first few months I felt so knackered and now as I get bigger (I'm 25 weeks) the thought is just becoming less and less appealing! If I'm honest we've probably only done it a dozen or so times since we found out I was up the duff - I think that part of this is due to slight nervousness about it (I found out I have a low anterior placenta and happened to read something in a pg book about avoiding sex if that is the case - as it is with me - never heard this anywhere else though) and part of it is just really wanting to do nothing other than sleep in bed...I do envy these women who say they feel rampant during pregnancy, it's certainly not me!

anyway, DH being lovely and understanding about it all though I worry that as we've got the whole new baby/no sleep thing ahead of us as well, that adds up to a looooonnnnng time that our sex life will have taken very much a back seat, and I can't help feel a bit bad for DH on that front. am wondering if I should really try to get into it a bit more while we still can (ie before the baby is born)? obviously, i know a baby doesn't mean the end of our sex life entirely but i know from friends how tough those first few months are!

OP posts:
skidaddle · 13/04/2007 16:53

Hi glittercaz,
I had the opposite problem to you (i.e. wanted it all the time and it drove poor dp mad, and not in a good way!) so in a way I can't give any advice but if it were me I wouldn't try to force myself. Although it seems like a long time, it is really a very short period of time and although it is harder to find time for sex with a new baby, it's not impossible. If you DH is being understanding, i would just wait and see how you feel - you might get a sudden urge in a month's time..

Don't know if that's really good advice, but if you don't feel like it I doubt you will enjoy it very much. Saying that there is something to be said for 'Nike' (just do it) sex - the more you do it, the more you want it school of thinking.. Oh dear I've been no help - hope someone else has some more constructive advice for you! Good luck

Pheebe · 13/04/2007 16:53

Me too! No interest in sex wotsoever. Having said that, dh and I do make time for each other, either while ds (he's 2.8) is napping in the afternoon of just after he's gone to bed before we're both too tired. Also erm penetration is out of the question (multiple mcs) so we 'explore' instead. We did this with ds too and I think it brought us much much closer together. DH was able to check out changing bump and neither of us felt pressured or neglected.

jabuti · 13/04/2007 19:51

i have almost zero libido at the moment, i can't even appreciate a ramdom charming man on the tube, or in the street. my appetite for men is just gone at the moment.

my husband is very aware of it because we spoke a lot about it since it was such a difference for our sex life once i got pregnant. he has a really high sexual drive, so we cant just not do anything. we play with each other and i play with him a lot when i dont feel like it. its been good so far, no tension or frustration.

PurpleLostPrincess · 13/04/2007 21:28

We tend to go through phases and had a phase of being like rabbits for the first couple of months when we found out about being pg - still don't know why! At one point (during one of my emotional/hormonal outbursts), DH even said that I'd been treating him like a sex object!!!!!!

Having said that, I've completely gone off the idea of it in the last fortnight or so. I have no explanation for it at all, I just don't fancy it and don't want my body being touched while things are going on inside it. Also, I'm sleeping lots too.

One extreme to the other!

At the end of the day, everybody is different and it could be that you've had a phase and you might have different phase at a later stage in the pgy. If not, it sounds like your DH is very understanding and loving. We too are worried about sex after baby is born but I'm just going to try and not put any expectations on it at all and see how it goes...

sarahsbump · 14/04/2007 08:13

When I was pg with DS we only had sex about 5 times during the first 8 1/2 months I just didnt feel like it then when I was due we had it every night (cos I wanted the baby out lol)
Then about 3 weeks after he was born I wanted it all the time (even though we were both knackered)
I think its pretty normal for your sex drive to change and as long as your DH understands its not him that you have gone off then all will be fine

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