Severe anxiety 39 weeks

[MsBranwen]

I feel like I should be enjoying the final few days/weeks of my pregnancy but feel completely crippled by anxiety. I am constantly worried about the baby's movements, it's pretty much all I think about and I am finding it hard to do things because I just want to sit and feel for his movements. Baby does still move regularly, but the moves are more subtle than they used to be and I just don't trust myself to feel them, I keep wondering if I'm just imagining movements. I fee like I'm going mad really.

What I'd really like to do is go to hospital every day for monitoring, but I also know this will make it likely that they'll want to induce me and I'm really worried about the impact that that would have on the baby in terms of increased likelihood of instrumental delivery or c-section and the extra risk that would bring. I had really hoped to have a lovely natural birth and am worried that I will end up sabotaging this for myself.

I just feel so stuck and not sure how I'm going to cope with another couple of weeks of this. DH is lovely but there's nothing he can actually do to make me worry less and my midwife is fine but the only thing she ever tells me when I've raised feeling anxious is to go to triage if I'm worried.

I wonder if anyone has any advice or words of wisdom?

No real advice unfortunately but I could honestly have written this myself. I'm 38 + 4 and feel the exact same. Like you baby does still move regularly but not in the same way it used to.
I had to go to triage at 36 weeks for reduced movement and feel like my anxiety has been a lot worse since then. I just wish the baby would arrive now, although I'm not sure my anxiety will stop then!

I keep trying to tell myself everything will be fine but totally know how you feel

If you care that much about your baby you will stop worrying and stressing! I no its the hardest thing to do especially when pregnant but have faith everything will be ok!! There's been no indication that anything is wrong, and I no induction is daunting but women are induced allll the time the midwifes and doctors no what there doing, you will be absolutely fine!! Once baby's born you'll think to yourself 'god why was I worrying'. If you can still feel movements now and then that's a good thing, if you haven't felt movement all day Long then you should worry. Your baby is getting very cramped in there and movements usually do decrease a little due to the lack of room, I was 38 weeks and hadn't felt Any movement all day and night and I went to hospital the next day and they monitored me and baby was absolutely fine! I then that day did feel a slight bit of movement. I could worry for the world trust me but it changes nothing! It just makes me worse and makes me waste my time. When like you said I should of been enjoying my last few weeks before I met my newborn, you've come on a long journey together and I completely understand your concern but trust me worrying will make it worse! I used to be sick all the time because I worried soo much. There's nothing major that's telling you anything bad is going to happen and there's no reason at all why you should worry like this when you no everything's fine. Enjoy your last few weeks, you'll miss those movements and that baby bump when it's gone. Be positive and have faith everything will be fine, your in safe hands. There's millions of women having children everyday, and who have had awful problems all through there pregnancies. If your midwife has assured you your fine then you are! Don't pick at problems that haven't happend or might never happen! Good luck though ❤️ Try relax and focus on staying calm, my mum always said to me, no amount of anxiety can change the future, what happens will happen, you can't control it. And she's right, I'm not wasting my time worrying myself sick anymore! Because I will be just fine! And you will too no matter what the outcome xx

So sorry to hear you're struggling too @lemonicelolly, it's just such an uncertain time isn't it? Basically I'm not in control at all and I hate it! Did end up going to triage last night and that was actually really helpful as saw that baby was doing well, good heartbeat and fluid and going for a growth scan early next week, so I feel well looked after! They did offer me an induction but I turned it down as I still really want to try and have a natural birth and since baby seems really healthy there's no reason not to aim for that... did think it might be easier just to get him out, but also know that it's not like the anxiety will suddenly stop when he arrives, will just be worried about something else so probably a good idea to try & learn how to manage it now.

And thank you for the supportive words @Roxx, I'm really determined to try & have a better day today, going to go and have a reflexology treatment & a walk in the woods and try & enjoy myself a bit. xx

Glad your feeling a bit better after triage last night, and you seem a bit more relaxed today. I think your right and we need to try and enjoy the rest of our pregnancies x