I didn’t realise how much I fear vomiting until I became pregnant and started experiencing that dreaded symptom - ‘morning sickness’ or nausea.
I’m 8 weeks into pregnancy and for the past 3 weeks I’ve been battling constant nausea, with terrifying moments of feeling as though I’m going to throw up any second. Whenever I experience the initial stomach-churning sensation, followed by the salivating mouth, my heart RACES with anxiety. I try everything in my power to suppress the ‘about to be sick’ feeling, utterly refusing to do so. Luckily, so far I’ve been successful, but this daily battle is becoming increasingly distressing.
Why am I so scared of throwing up? Until about 6 months ago, the last time I threw up was when I was 9-years-old (I am currently 24), which is typical for emetophobics - not having thrown up since childhood. Earlier this year, however, I found myself having a fully blown panic attack during a hangover, whilst on the phone to my mother (she’s also emetophobic - more intensely than myself - so I knew she’d understand my distress and be able to offer empathy and reassurance). In the midst of all that, there was a moment when I realised that throwing up was imminent and kind of surrendered, allowing the dreaded act to take place (don’t ask my how I managed to do this - I have no idea :| ). Afterwards, I felt instant relief (felt like Superwoman! little dance). I realised, in that moment, that the act of throwing up was a lot easier than the distress caused by the build-up to it. I really thought that after that experience, I’d never fear or struggle with vomiting again - but here I am now, more terrified now than I was then!
I guess the difference is that with a stomach bug, food poising or alcohol, you know that by throwing up you’re ridding your system of the irritant/poison causing you to feel rubbish, and bringing yourself closer to recovery - so there’s an incentive to throw up, at least. With pregnancy, however, the nausea is caused by hormones, meaning there’s nothing harmful or foreign that needs to be expelled by the body, strictly speaking. Because of this, I know that even if I were to throw up, the nausea would only just CONTINUE - it wouldn’t be the end of it! Also, my nausea tends to result from hunger - my belly not being quite full - so it seems as though throwing up (emptying the contents of my stomach, completely) would only plunge me into further nausea - vicious cycle.
Any other pregnant women sharing my distress?
Also, are there any effective remedies for pregnancy nausea (I refuse to call it ‘morning sickness’ - a totally misleading and trivialising name)? Nothing seems to be working, and I feel like I’ve tried everything! :( Despite an un-full stomach being the main trigger of my nausea, I find it difficult to constantly eat or snack because I’m currently repulsed by most foods. In addition, foods that are exempt from this repulsion (plain foods such as rice, crackers etc) don’t seem to curb my hunger enough to reduce the nausea or keep it at bay.
I appreciate your thoughts.
Thank you for your time.