Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Missed Miscarrige.........Why?

38 replies

missnatalie · 11/04/2007 22:31

Today i have been for my scan and should have been 11w 5d. The scan shown that my baby's heart stopped at 9w 2d. Doctors are calling this a missed miscarrige and they will be removing the baby on friday.

My question is why does this happen? The heartbeat was perfect at 6w. Baby was normal size and we saw the yolk sac etc. My MW told me that the risk of miscarrige dramatically reduces once the heartbeat has been seen, so why has it happend?

I lost 1 baby in nov 06 as it was ectopic and now another. 2 babies in the space of 5 months.

I asked the doc today why it happens and she couldnt answer. She said it just happens. There must be a reason why though.

Has anyone else been through this and know why it happens?

Natalie x

OP posts:

tokentotty · 12/04/2007 15:03

Oh Natalie, I really feel for you. One of my dearest friends has been through this twice last year and is going to be 9 weeks pg this Sunday. She's terrified of it happening again and can barely bring herself to go for a scan just in case. I know it will happen for you just as I'm sure it's happening for my dear friend xxx

princesscc · 13/04/2007 00:01

Nat - thinking of you {{{hugs}}}

heresfor2007 · 13/04/2007 00:14

MissNatalie. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. In the last 2 years I have had 3 mmc (no children). After my third mc I felt really really low as until that point I had really believed that I would still have my own babies but after the third time I really started to doubt the fact as I also found out that I have a bicornuate uterus. My last mc was Sept last year and me and dh decided to not ttc until after christmas so that it wouldn't be on my mind constantly over christmas and the new year (yeah right!!), but it did help me to grieve and try and put it to the back of my mind so that I could get a bit of enjoyment out of life again. In the new year I decided to make a few changes and started acupuncture and eating healthily, buying organic food, exercising etc to try to prepare my body properly for another pregnancy. At the end of Feb, I found out that I was pregnant again and I saw a heart beat for the first time a couple of weeks ago (I think I cryed happy tears as much as I'd preveously cryed sad ones! - my previous babies had all died at 6 weeks and I never saw a heartbeat with any of them.) This pregnancy has been a total roller coaster so far as I have bleed on and off for 3 weeks since week 6 and can never relax as to what is going on in there. I saw the heartbeat first at 9 weeks but only lasted a week before I was too paranoid and booked a private scan to check everything was still okay. I'm now nearly 12 weeks and waiting for my booking scan to come through.
I'm sorry I've gone on a bit about myself, but what I'm really trying to say is do not give up hope as I nearly did. Look after yourself and stay positive. Allow yourself time to grieve and try to enjoy yourself without ttc for a while. If you feel really low, I really found the acupuncture worked wonders although it's not cheap!
I hope tomorrow goes as well as expected and that the future will bring you the happiness that you dream of.
Take Care xxx

Original poster

missnatalie · 13/04/2007 10:38

Thankyou for all the lovely messages everyone they really do help.

Ive got to be at the hospital for 12pm and the op isnt until 2pm. Im starting to get really scared. I want it to be over and done with so that i can hopefully move on and have a fresh start. DP and i have decided to wait a couple of months before ttc again altough if it does happen before then we will still be happy.

Today is such a hard day. I have no idea how i am feeling. Just very numb and very scared. I just cant beleive that this is happening to me. I dont think that it has sunk in properly yet.

OP posts:

Uki · 13/04/2007 11:02

Hi Miss Natalie

I'm sorry for your losses, thinking of you today, and wishing you well.

I'd love to know why missed m/c happen too? I've had three but not in a row. I have one ds and one on the way. I still wonder 'why' though .

I always left it one month and then TTC again, I think it is importnat to grieve a bit and let your body heal.

Be positive, you'll get a dc soon.

here'sfor2007- What good news after 3 missed m/c. Fantastic news on getting to 12 weeks, Good luck

firststar · 13/04/2007 12:57

Message withdrawn

princesscc · 13/04/2007 21:29

Hi, just checking in to see you are ok. Lots of love xx

whoopsfallenoveragain · 13/04/2007 21:34

Sorry to hear about this missnatalie
I had a missed miscarriage a few weeks ago and the past few weeks have been a total rollercoaster
I found talking on here helps and was also given this as a contact for counselling. I haven't actually contacted them as I feel I have come through things but will keep their details in case I feel I d need some more support.
I wish I knew why it happened too I had 2 normal pregnancies then this. I'm now scared to ttc in case it happens again but I hope in time we will try.
I hope you didn't find today to bad I know it wasn't as bad as I expected and that you rest up for the next couple of days xx

Original poster

missnatalie · 14/04/2007 19:38

Hi Everyone,

Well yesterday i had my baby removed by ERPC. It wasnt as bad as i thought. There were 2 other women on the ward having the same procedure. It may sound daft but knowing that i wasnt the only one going through it, made things a little easier. The bleeding wasnt too bad and has now stopped but the pain has been terrible. I keep getting shooting pains. There killing me.

Didnt sleep too well lastnight. Neither did DP. He went out to buy me some new clothes today. My normal ones are still too tight as the only thing that was helping my MS was to constantly be eating. And i dont wasnt to wear my maternity ones anymore.

After the surgery the doc said that theres no medical reason for waiting before ttc again but he recommended waiting for my 1st period. We havnt decided what to do yet. Since sept last year our whole lives have revolved around ttc. I think we need a break for a while.

Maybe in a few weeks / months ill join the ttc after miscarrige thread on the conception board.

Natalie x

OP posts:

princesscc · 14/04/2007 19:43

Glad you're ok'ish. At least now you can draw a line under it and slowly start to move on. New clothes is a good start, how nice! Take that holiday and put it to the back of your mind and enjoy yourselves. xxx

BibiThree · 14/04/2007 20:42

Hi Missnatalie,

So sorry to hear about your loss. I had a missed m/c at 16 weeks (baby died at 14 weeks) and it was truly horrible time. That was 18 months ago and has overshadowed this pregnancy more than I thought it would, but I am now at 22 weeks with twins and everything appears to be well and I'm starting to relax and enjoy it.

What I'm trying to say it is, it's a long old road but you will eventually start to feel better about things and the crying will get less and less. I know what you mean about maternity clothes and not wanting to wear them, so treat yourself to some new things. The might help a little.

Mumsnet helped me enormously and still does, and as other have said, the m/c bereavement threads are a tremendous support.

xxx

fees · 14/04/2007 22:47

So sorry to hear of your loss missnatalie my heart goes out to you. Please take time and be kind to yourself and don't give up my friend had a horrendous time many mc no one could give a reason but she got there in the end and has 2 beautiful healthy children and her experiences have made her the best mum i know! thinking of you, all the very best for the future X

Eaglebird · 15/04/2007 16:51

When it happened to me last year, I felt like the only woman in the world it had happened to.
I didn't realise how common missed m/cs are, as no-one really talks about it. I spoke to my GP, who said her 1st pg ended in missed m/c (she went on to have 2 healthy boys).
I had to tell my boss, as I was signed off work by my GP, and he told me his partner had had one the previous year (they now have a daughter).
Lots of ladies on the bereavement / miscarriage threads have experienced them. It was an awful time, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it was a comfort in a way to know I wasn't alone - if that makes sense.
Hope you are feeling better and stronger soon missnatalie. Take it one day at a time.
x

Flip

1 2