Will it harm my unborn child when i cry for 6 hours a day?

[Pregnant1996]

Hi All,
Im not really sure what im doing here, but im 25weeks+3 today and absoutely ecstatic about the upcoming arrival of my little boy.
However, stressors like money and wether ill be a successful mother keep getting me down, my cat has fleas and i cannot afford to get it treated, i have been on sick leave from my employment since june due to hypermesis and every day i feel more and more alone.
Its 3pm right now and im lying in a dark room sobbing, my partner thinks i am exaggerating or making a big deal out of nothing but he is completely unaware of my/our financial situation, he has no income, skills, or education and has no drive to find a job. He's 20 and still basically a child, he sits all afternoon, evening and night playing online on his PlayStation, then sleeps through the day while i attempt to keep our house clean and prepare for our new arrival. I havent seen him lift a finger to wash a dish, clean a litter tray or anything in months and doing it all myself makes me worry about my health mentally and physically.
I love him and want him to be a part of our sons life, but i have no friends to confide in or talk to and cant tell my family how i feel as their advice is - leave him, give up the house and move back home.

Does anyone have any advice on how to feel less alone and how to stop crying all the time? I just want my baby to be okay and instead i spend hours a day apologising to my little bump for how much i must put him through.
Thank you and sorry for the babbling thread.

Thank you Penguin!💖 im glad you're getting support and its reassuring to hear others have felt similarly!!! And anatidae the wifi is going to conveniently break i think... 😉😉

I don't mean for this to come across patronising so I'm sorry if it does, im struggling to find the right words

It will be so much harder to leave him when the baby is born, pull your socks up and get on with it, if you can't even afford to flea your cat how do you expect to support a baby? You need your family's support as he clearly isn't going to step up for you both

Good luck, all the worrying sounds like you will be a fantastic caring mum, take care of yourself ❤️

Maybe telling your family and moving back home would not be the worst thing for you and the baby. There is no shame in admitting you are struggling. You could save money with the baby, have support on hand and get away from your loser of a boyfriend because that's exactly what he is.

It can be normal to be this emotional during pregnancy but I would worry about coping after it. Honestly confine in someone, if you have a supportive family, use them!

You being upset won't harm your unborn son.

Your partner's attitude (and the misery it will cause you) will harm him, in some way. He will be a horrible role model for your son. What would you think if you win treated his pregnant partner the way you are being treated?

If you have family who love you and want to support you, I would jump at their offer to be home with them. Your partner won't have a personality change overnight when the baby is born and suddenly clean, cook, look after your pets, change nappies, wash clothes etc the way he will need to.

I'm sorry you are so unhappy. But don't feel guilty, you have nothing to feel guilty for! Your partner on the other hand...

"Your son" not "you win". Autocorrect

You can treat a cat for fleas by using a spot on that you would use to prevent them. They cost a few pounds.

You're right, you need to put your needs and those of your baby above those of your partner. Maybe it would be a good idea to stay with your family for a short while to get a break and a bit of perspective.
I had a very stressful time when I was pregnant with my youngest child and she's a delight, very smiley and mellow.
Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy op

You are wasting your life with your boyfriend. It's not his age it's who he is. Plenty of 20 year old men would be planning, putting money away and getting the house ready - maybe working 2 jobs to cover you being sick.

If it was the other way round and he was vomiting would you make him clean your cat tray and let him worry about money whilst you sit shooting aliens? Thought not! (I love computer games btw and they are great as occasional down time).

Go home, put your feet up and be surrounded by people who care for you. Your parents didn't bring you up to be treated badly by another human - go home. Life will get better, he's not the man for you.

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

stress won't harm the baby. But losing the man-child will greatly reduce your stress and workload.

I agree that his choices are simple, shape up or ship out. He doesn't contribute anything so you've nothing to lose if he walks. In fact you'll have less mess and less cost. If he does go he doesn't lose the committment to pay child support. Boot him out and perhaps someone more helpful could come to stay?

BTW one thing that can cause a problem, I'm afraid, is cleaning out cat litter trays when pregnant. Please wear gloves and take strong hygienic precautions.

good luck.

Kick him and the cat out right now. Please. You deserve better

If your car has fleas you must treat that urgently . Also you will need to treat your house. The fleas will be in the carpets and sofa if it's fabric also the bed of cat goes into bedroom ! You need to be firm with your do ! Does he not work ? Is he wanting to get a job ? Tell him he can only play his PlayStation when jobs have been done ! If he has no job then he should at least be helping clean the house and get it ready for baby ! You must sort the fleas though

He is a waste of space ! He could get a job if he wanted ! He is never gunna change and is a lazy selfish pig who will expect the tax payer to pay his benefits and support his baby ! If you want your baby to have a decent role model and good future then you need to leave this lay about !!

You sound like you're going to be a great Mum OP - you're writing this post because you want the best for your baby, that's not what a crappy mum would be doing. Perhaps it's worth talking to your health visitor / midwife / gp about your feelings?

He's not working, therefore not contributing financially anyway? Kick him out. Or move back in with your family, it's always good to have some help with the baby. You won't get any from him.

Yes I would also say you sound depressed, but your stress levels will be greatly reduced when you get rid of the future deadbeat dad.

Flea tablets are about £3 from Asda etc. Also vets4pets will treat your pet and you can pay them later if you explain your situation, as long as you eventually pay them of course

Also kick him out, he sounds like a waster. Your baby will be fine and love you unconditionally

Hyperemesis is dreadful. I was on sick leave for it. You need love and support. It affects everything including mood.
I hate to be the bearer of extra aggro but I’m not sure Spot On is going to work - doesn’t have a great reputation.

Look at your future life... If he can't be bothered to help out now how will he be when the baby arrives? Look at your life a week, month, year from now- what do you see and what do you want for yourself?

As a Mum I certain you will want the absolute best for your child. You will want them to be loved, protected and provided for. Do you see your partner doing any of those things? If the answer is no then you know what you have to do.

Good luck